The Sookie Stackhouse Collection – my reviews

These reviews are all quite old now – in style and my skills. They’re not as good as my later reviews, and above all, I found the Sookie Stackhouse books to be a lot of harmless fun – certainly better than Anita Blake.

Dead Until Dark

Chapter One; wherein we meet our intrepid heroine and her predestined love interest.

Chapter Two; wherein the first murder victim is discovered and Bill levitates.

Chapter Three; wherein there is a second murder and we get a long list of suspects.

Chapter Four; wherein Bill and Sookie go to a vampire bar and shenanigans ensue.

Chapter Five; wherein so many bad things happen and I cry.

Chapter Six; wherein Sookie and Bill have sex.

Chapter Seven; wherein I get very angry at Jason Stackhouse.

Chapter Eight; wherein I get very angry at Sookie Stackhouse.

Chapter Nine; wherein I get high on vampire blood and wonder what a gunnysack is.

Chapter Ten; wherein there are talks and angry holes.

Chapter Eleven; wherein there is a Sam and Dean, but not in a way I would automatically expect.

Chapter Twelve; wherein the mystery is resolved.

Living Dead in Dallas

Chapter One; wherein our mystery begins.

Chapter Two; wherein we learn how big killing lizards and maenads are quite similar.  And hobbits work as surgeons.

Chapter Three; wherein I am very disappointed in Sookie.

Chapter Four; wherein we actually get to Dallas.

Chapter Five; wherein Sookie infiltrates a church like a boss.

Chapter Six; wherein Sookie gets the ever-living crap beaten out of her.

Chapter Seven; wherein I meet Farrell, my gay vampire soul mate.

Chapter Eight; wherein there are only six pages and not much happens.

Chapter Nine; wherein I get very cross at Ms Harris for how stupid she makes Sookie.

Chapter Ten; wherein Sookie goes to an orgy with Eric.

Chapter Eleven; wherein there is chocolate cake.  Hooray!

Club Dead

Chapter One; wherein it is revealed that Ms Harris knows little of European politics.

Chapter Two; wherein werewolves are introduced and Dottie is very, very happy.

Chapter Three; wherein we learn about Bill’s abduction and his affair.

Chapter Four; wherein Sookie goes to JACKSON and we meet Alcide Herveaux.

Chapter Five; wherein Sookie wears an awful dress and acts like a bitch to a woman who doesn’t especially deserve it.

Chapter Six; wherein nothing much happens other than more dissing of Debbie Pelt.

Chapter Seven; wherein there is a murder that makes no sense.

Chapter Eight; wherein Sookie is determined to find Bill.  After eight chapters.

Chapter Nine; wherein there is a video for one of Dottie’s favourite songs as Sookie dances.

Chapter Ten; wherein Sookie and Eric have an uncomfortable sort-of sex scene.

Chapter Eleven; wherein Sookie rescues Bill and becomes like Buffy.

Chapter Twelve; wherein Sookie is raped.  This is never discussed or confronted by any character.  I do not like this chapter.

Chapter Thirteen; wherein Eric and Sookie are attacked at a petrol station.

Chapter Fourteen; wherein it’s a bit like a sitcom. But with even less laughs.

Chapter Fifteen; wherein this book is concluded where nothing important, like a rape of the major character, is resolved.

Dead to the World

Prologue; wherein I use Benedict Cumberbatch to calm my anger towards Bill.

Chapter One; wherein I rant on the nature of witchcraft in history.

Chapter Two; wherein we learn that Eric lost his memory by being a colossal moron.

Chapter Three; wherein Sookie is a nasty bitch.

Chapter Four; wherein there is pointless filler about witchcraft.

Chapter Five; wherein so many horrible gory things happen.

Chapter Six; wherein there is a very famous sex scene.

Chapter Seven; wherein Hotshot is introduced.

Chapter Eight; wherein I ask what the fuck is going on.

Chapter Nine; wherein I have a breakdown about fairies.

Chapter Ten; wherein I disclose my hatred for the Bon Temps police and I guess the secret identity of the inhabitants of Hotshot.

Chapter Eleven; wherein the war starts.

Chapter Twelve; wherein shit starts going down.

Chapter Thirteen; well, the witches are def- AHHHHHHH MY GOD.

Chapter Fourteen; wherein there are many hoorays.

Chapter Fifteen; wherein there is much glory all round.

Dead as a Doornail

Chapter One: wherein I praise the shifters of Harris’s books.

Chapter Two; wherein stuff goes down at Merlotte’s.

Chapter Three; wherein Eric is lazy and doesn’t do anything.

Chapter Four; wherein we meet a pirate.

Chapter Five; wherein Alcide finally talks sensibly about the rape that happened two books ago.

Chapter Six; wherein there is a funeral.

Chapter Seven; wherein there is a fire.

Chapter Eight; wherein I am very cross at Claudine.

Chapter Nine; wherein Bill ends up hurting Sookie. Again.

Chapter Ten; wherein all hopes of Alcide and Sookie having a relationship go up in smoke.

Chapter Eleven; wherein we learn how amazing it is to be lower class

Chapter Twelve; wherein Sookie is shot.

Chapter Thirteen; wherein we see what a good, good friend Sookie is.

Chapter Fourteen; wherein we learn the identity of the Bon Temps sniper.

Chapter Fifteen; wherein there is a contest for packmaster.

Chapter Sixteen; wherein the book is concluded and it has all the dramas.

Definitely Dead

Chapter One; wherein the plot starts and I am already confused.

Chapter Two; wherein Quinn and Sookie plan their first date.

Chapter Three; wherein there are weird penis metaphors and a proposal.

Chapter Four; wherein Sookie is a truly nasty person for no reason.

Chapter Five; wherein we meet the parents of Debbie Pelt and see a great amount of continuity problems.

Chapter Six; wherein Sookie saves a child’s life and Sookie finally turns down Calvin Norris.

Chapter Seven; wherein Sookie and Quinn go on their date.

Chapter Eight; wherein there is an attack.

Chapter Nine; wherein Quinn is an ass.

Chapter Ten; wherein a lot of uncomfortable shit happens.

Chapter Eleven; wherein all the important stuff is finally told to the reader.

Chapter Twelve; wherein it is very short and has too much Bill.

Chapter Thirteen; wherein Sookie finally gets to New Orleans.

Chapter Fourteen; wherein we meet the witch Amelia Broadway.

Chapter Fifteen; wherein ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit.

Chapter Sixteen; wherein I am very angry about fairies and angels.

Chapter Seventeen; wherein we meet Sophie-Anne and see the power of magic in the Harrisverse.

Chapter Eighteen; wherein I declare my love for Sophie-Anne Leclerq.

Chapter Nineteen; wherein there is dry-humping and I disapprove.

Chapter Twenty; wherein there’s abduction and swamps.

Chapter Twenty One; wherein half the plot is resolved and it is rather unsatisfying.

Chapter Twenty Two; wherein all the shit goes down, and everyone dies.

Chapter Twenty Three; wherein there is EXPOSITION, EXPOSITION, EXPOSITION, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.

All Together Dead

Chapter One; wherein there has been a tragedy of the tragic type.

Chapter Two; wherein there’s a bridal shower and some nipples.

Chapter Three; wherein we learn the secret of Amelia’s parentage and there’s another wedding on the way!

Chapter Four; wherein Jason Stackhouse gets married. Uh, yay?

Chapter Five; wherein I picspam because Sookie really annoys me in this chapter.

Chapter Six; wherein I find a new love in life – in the love between a witch and a vampire.

Chapter Seven; wherein we learn Pam’s backstory.

Chapter Eight; wherein Sookie travels to Chicago.

Chapter Nine; wherein there’s some vamp politics and ALIENS. SHIT YEAH ALIENS.

Chapter Ten; wherein we learn the truth about Quinn.

Chapter Eleven; wherein Eric and Sookie have some blood-swapping thing.

Chapter Twelve; wherein there is a bomb plot and THERE ARE AWESOME ALIENS.

Chapter Thirteen; wherein there is a ball, a trial and a murder.

Chapter Fourteen; wherein Sookie abandons her injured boyfriend to dance with the arsehole Eric.

Chapter Fifteen; wherein I’m cross because Charlaine Harris does not understand Europe.

Chapter Sixteen; wherein there are some more court cases and Bill is an arse.

Chapter Seventeen; wherein the hotel explodes.

Chapter Eighteen; wherein Sophie-Anne is proved to be a badass.

Chapter Nineteen; wherein we learn the fate of Andre, I give my thoughts on the book, and make predictions for the next.

From Dead to Worse

Prologue; wherein we learn that Sookie can name no British actresses, and provides a recap.

Chapter One; wherein there is a wedding and I declare this book makes no sense already.

Chapter Two; wherein I declare Sookie to be forever alone and that I dislike most of the men in this universe.

Chapter Three; wherein I get VERY fed up with the men in this universe.

Chapter Four; wherein there is fairy bullshit galore.

Chapter Five; wherein Eric eats a werewolf. Nom nom.

Chapter Six; wherein there’s a witch and a murder.

Chapter Seven; wherein PAM AND AMELIA HAVE A DATE AND IT IS PERFECT AND LOVELY.

Chapter Eight; wherein there is an assassination attempt at the library and common sense is achieved.

Chapter Nine; wherein there is a werewolf war. Well, more a sort of skirmish.

Chapter Ten; wherein there is prelude to another portion of one of the many plots.

Chapter Eleven; wherein we learn the battle plan of the vampires of Vegas.

Chapter Twelve; wherein the vampire war… is solved by talking.

Chapter Thirteen; wherein Quinn thinks it’s appropriate to break into people’s houses.

Chapter Fourteen; wherein Sophie-Anne is finally, definitely dead and Sookie makes light of gang-rape.

Chapter Fifteen; wherein there is JAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM.

Chapter Sixteen; wherein we learn EVERYTHING ABOUT SAM.

Chapter Seventeen; wherein there is a magic brainwashing.

Chapter Eighteen; wherein I cannot describe how awful the events of this chapter are.

Chapter Nineteen; wherein I cannot process the amount of cultural stereotyping that goes on.

Chapter Twenty; wherein dear god, the stupidity.

Chapter Twenty One; wherein there is a child and much blandness to be found.

Dead and Gone

Chapter One; wherein there is a glorious parody of reality TV. Using vampires.

Chapter Two; wherein there is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

Chapter Three; wherein there is a forced engagement.

Chapter Four; wherein the FBI turn up.

Chapter Five; wherein there is an awful and horrific murder.

Chapter Six; wherein there is ERIC BACKSTORY.

Chapter Seven; wherein a lot of things happen, none of them especially important.

Chapter Eight; wherein the plot shows up. And it involves fairies.

Chapter Nine; wherein a fairy dies and Quinn shows up to be a patronising, controlling arsehole.

Chapter Ten; wherein sex.

Chapter Eleven; wherein people decide to crucify Sookie.

Chapter Twelve; wherein there is a shoot-out and more CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

Chapter Thirteen; wherein the character of Amelia is suddenly made very, very stupid for no reason.

Chapter Fourteen; wherein Alcide texts like a teenage girl.

Chapter Fifteen; wherein OH DEAR GOD.

Chapter Sixteen; wherein shit starts to go down.

Chapter Seventeen; wherein torture. Really awful graphic torture.

Chapter Eighteen; wherein there is a vicious battle and the book ends abruptly.

Dead in the Family

I’m so cross and disgusted with this book, I can’t even be bothered to come up with chapter summaries. Knock yourselves out and leave notes for other readers to help guide them – like ‘run away’ and ‘don’t read this book’.

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Dead Reckoning

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Deadlocked

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

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