A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’chapter twenty two


When I finished having hysterics and everyone had rinsed enough blood off them to be presentable, or at least not make my neighbors call the police, I got dressed.

YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. YOU HAVE NO NEIGHBORS. THAT’S WHY YOU GOT THIS HOUSE.

Micah had pointed out that we’d probably all be going to bed, so why bother getting dressed, but I needed clothes.

Then put on a t-shirt and a pair of PJ bottoms? Don’t you just have stuff for lounging around in? Casual clothes? Doesn’t Anita ever behave like a normal human being?

Black everything from the skin out, including the shoulder holster, Browning Hi-Power, and hidden under my hair the hilt of a really big knife.

SO EDGY. Ah, the reappearance of that stupid fucking knife that makes no sense whatsoever. But it’s cool and all sort of ninja-y so that’s okay I guess. *rolls eyes*

Micah tried to point out that I probably didn’t need that much weaponry to go into my own kitchen. I looked at him, and he stopped. No one else complained.

HA HA HA HA HA

crazy-laugh-animated-gif

ISN’T SHE SO WITTY.

Anyway, Anita fusses about getting dressed because there’s SO MANY HAWT GUYS AROUND FOR LITTLE OLD HER and it’s too much for her delicate sensibilities.

Besides, Nathaniel promised he’d make coffee. I hated eating before ten o’clock, but coffee before ten was a necessity.

What time is this? When is this? Oh my god, this is all still the night/day after the wedding in the first few chapters. THERE HAS BEEN TWENTY CHAPTERS OF THIS NONSENSE.

LKH, you are not the genius you think you are. Your first draft is not gold. You have learnt nothing in your career as an author. If you knew a damn thing about the trade, you wouldn’t let this steaming turd be associated with your name.

Anita and Damian bicker back and forth for an entire page about his dressing gown. See, Anita doesn’t understand what a dressing gown is, even though a dressing gown is just the British term for a robe.

The editor should have just thrown this book in a shredder.

Anita comforts Damian that she’s not angry with him having no character but being a sex-mad rapist with sad puppy eyes. They try to sense each other’s feelings and Anita’s heart is broken because… I don’t know and I really don’t care. Maybe her breakfast (or dinner, because what time is this????) burrito was cold.

Micah came to stand in front of me. Once it had seemed odd to have such serious intelligence out of kitty-cat eyes. Now, they were just Micah’s eyes.

The phrase ‘kitty-cat eyes’ makes me want to punch things. It’s so ridiculously childish. Micah strokes her face and Anita wants to rub against it. She doesn’t and I have no idea why we have to hear about her thought process in minute detail. She then decides to rub against his hands. It seems nice and takes a half-page to do.

“I would spare you this, if you’d let me.”

Spare her what? What is even happening? The last TWELVE CHAPTERS have added absolutely nothing to the narrative. It does not form a substantive subplot and does not add to the main narrative – that hasn’t been mentioned for over a hundred pages.

Anita complains that men get weird after sex. That they get possessed or ‘just want a chance to do it again’. Well, the possessiveness comes from the fact that LKH decided to make all the love interests fucking awful abusers and rapists, and what’s wrong with wanting to have sex again? Is that considered weird? Isn’t that a sign that you’ve both had a good experience?

Nathaniel makes the decision for Anita that she won’t hide. I have no idea what she’s hiding from or why she can’t make a decision for herself.

Micah is upset that Anita is hurt. Presumably he’s angry that it was someone other than him did the hurting. I still have no idea what’s going on

Everyone makes jokes about coffee. This whole chapter should have been crossed out with an extremely large red pen.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’chapter twenty two

  1. Hey, I’ve been catching up on your entire LKH and Charlaine Harris series review. I absolutely adore them and wanted to thank you for doing them. I tend to prefer the Sookie Stackhouse reviews because you don’t seem to actually hate the books so it’s fun from a fan perspective. Keep up the good work!

    • I think a lot of the hatred for LKH (and the AB books in particular) comes from how the books started out as a good, fun, interesting UF series, then suddenly took a sharp left turn into focusing almost exclusively on the sex and violence. And how the books seem to become LKH’s way of venting about stuff in her personal life, using the characters as stand-ins for people in real life. For example, it’s widely believed that Richard was based off LKH’s first husband, and he suddenly went from “nice, normal guy” to “raging asshole” right around the time of their divorce.

      The series also has a nasty case of protagonist-centered morality. Ex: JC’s creator is terrible and horrible for using her super-sex powers to bind people to her service, but when Anita uses the same powers to do the same thing, it’s perfectly fine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s