A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’ chapter fifteen


Anita opens up the chapter by running around the top corridor of her home, trying to chase Damian down.

How the fuck does she manage to write with absolutely no awareness of what she’s producing?

They are upset that Damian may have gone a little out of his mind.

The last time Damian had gone mad, he’d killed several people, butchered them, not just fed.

And the Grand High and Mighty Vampire Executioner Anita Blake didn’t kill him… why?

Give me a fucking reason why she can’t do her fucking job and kill Damian for being a fucking murderer and a menace to the public – other than he’s apparently attractive. Seriously, why the fuck is she keeping Damian around? What does he add to anything? Why is he even here? What is the point of Damian? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BULLSHIT LITTERING THESE BOOKS?

If it had been my fault before, somehow it was my fault again.

Newsflash Anita: EVERYTHING THAT EVER GOES WRONG IN THESE BOOKS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT ANITA.

I went for the room that Damian had gone into, but I never made it, because he came tearing out of it and nearly ran me down.

Why is it that LKH can’t even get a simple sentence sounding right? EVERY WORD IS NOTHING BUT PAIN.

Anita decides to hook her legs around Damian and he responds by slamming her into walls and trying to rip her throat out. She uses her… super speed to keep his head away from her.

He pushed the strength of his madness against the push of my hands –

what the fuck does that even mean

– and he began to press my arm inward.

Gosh it’s almost like speed doesn’t beat super strength.

I don’t know if he’d been sane whether my new metaphysics would have helped more, but he wasn’t sane, and crazy anything is stronger than sane.

….

…….

………. what the holy hell. what the holy hell

Can you please stop this fucking nonsense about mental illness, LKH. Honestly. It’s not cute or funny, it’s just fucking insulting.

If he’d been a bad guy, I’d have torn into him and done my best to take him out before he took me out, but Damian wasn’t a bad guy, and whatever was wrong was somehow my fault.

He literally went on a murderous rampage before and you’re still claiming he’s not a bad guy?

Damian was like a human on angel dust, stronger even than he’d been, because there was no one home to help him regulate his force.

Jesus fucking Christ do you actually know anything about drugs or did you just read a Chick Tract on them once

Ok, PCP does not make people stronger. It’s a dissociative drug. It makes your brain feel detached from your body – so, people will appear stronger, sure. Because their minds can’t perceive what their bodies are doing, and therefore can’t tell what’s too heavy or what’s too hot or whatever. But people aren’t actually stronger because that is not how drugs work.

Seriously LKH do some fucking research it won’t kill you

Nathaniel and Gregory are here to wrestle Damian into submission instead of Anita being forced to actually, you know, use her necromancy abilities for once. Damian, being that he’s on a rampage, attacks Gregory. Somehow, despite Nathaniel still hold him and Anita still clinging to his middle and being face to face with Damian, Damian pins Gregory to the floor and starts chewing his arm.

I was almost to them, when Damian remembered he could fly.

since fucking when could damian fly

you realise that you’re supposed to edit the first draft of the manuscript you farted out before you give it to your agent

Anyway, Damian was a viking warrior and Gregory and Nathaniel are sent flying – which, despite what the book says, he doesn’t appear to be doing. He then whirls around for Anita, who’s been standing and watching i don’t know how what is happening why is nothing making sense and she’s like, clearly I can take a trained viking warrior because i did a class of judo once

She throws Damian across the hall with her super powered strength that she’s never really used before.

But a figure rose above him, coming up the stairs. It was Richard Zeeman, local Ulfric, Wolf-King, ex-fiance, and in the wrong place at the worst time. I had a few seconds to see that his hair had grown out just enough to give some curl to his woefully short locks, that the white T-shirt made his fading tan summer-dark with contrast, that he was still one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen. Then the vampire turned, noticed him, and launched himself at Richard. He balanced them both for a second, then the other man’s weight took them both, and Richard fell backward down the stairs, with the vampire riding him. They vanished from sight, and over the sound of their bodies falling down the stairs, I heard a woman start to scream.

Hopefully, Richard and Damian fell onto a pair of upturning pitchforks and are now slowly bleeding to death on the tile floor.

Seriously Richard will not make this book any better. STOP HAVING SO MANY CHARACTERS THAT MEAN NOTHING AND DO NOTHING AND ARE POINTLESS.

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2 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’ chapter fifteen

  1. Remember that little girl vampire that Anita tormented who didn’t even hurt anyone herself, if I recall right? And how she was just painted as absolutely evil for the fact that she probably (Anita thinks, anyway, because reasons) once killed to survive?

    Or how she once blew a (female) vampire’s head off because she’d killed while under the mind control of a much stronger vampire? “because she was guilty”?

    I’d just like everyone to remember this, and look at her treatment and view of Damian here (as well as that stronger mind-controlling vampire whom Anita decided she wanted to “hug and make it better” funny how they’re both guys and these other two were both women huh)

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