A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’ chapter twelve


Yos I am back after spending time poking tortoises and hamsters and watching lots of Xena

Xena, who I think LKH was aiming for with Anita. I know that Xena was started after Anita was first published, but think about it – strong independent woman kicking ass, all that? Only that Xena is a well-written character, made by people who knew what the fuck they were doing.

TBH I think one of the biggest influences, no matter what LKH says, was the 1970s Wonder Woman TV show.

Sorry, I’m rambling. I’ve been travelling a lot.

I didn’t remember crossing the room, but I must have, because I was standing in front of him.

THIS IS FIRST PERSON NARRATION. ANITA SHOULD KNOW THAT SHE’S CROSSING THE ROOM BECAUSE WE’RE IN HER FUCKING HEAD.

Anita’s in front of Nathaniel and is ‘close enough to taste his pulse on my tongue like candy’. She’s thinking about cock gobbling again, right? They’re making out and she’s like ‘oh yeah I can feed the ardeur’.

This has only been going on for like three books now. Why is Anita still confused about this? Anita and Nathaniel are snogging away and then Anita’s mind is full of hunting deer.

I came back to the kitchen, on my knees, screaming.

Why can’t Anita have sex without there being some ongoing drama or trauma forcing her into it? For a series lauded for being so erotic and so good for women for openly talking about sex, sex is treated as something incredibly negative. Richard’s hunting and he’s ‘feeding’ so Anita’s head is full of that, and then she reaches out to JC, and he’s feeding on Jason. I have no idea why she’s suddenly reacting to this, considering that the triforce has been in place since, what, book six?

Why do I never have a fucking clue what’s going on in these books when the metaphorical magic starts?

Anita then falls unconscious. Again. Everybody drink!

Anita’s head’s been in Nathaniel’s lap so she starts giving him a blow job. Well, no, nothing that would make you think Anita’s a ‘bad girl’. She just licks the pulse in his thigh. You know, that common erotic thing to do. Oh, no, I think she’s know sucking him off? Maybe??

I pressed my mouth over that quivering heat, kissed the blood just under his skin. Licked the jumping thud of his pulse, just a quick flick of my tongue. It tasted like his skin, sweet and clean, but it also tasted of blood, sweet copper pennies on my tongue.

See, I think that must be talking about Nathaniel’s dick but it seems that Nathaniel’s dick is magic. Just like that his skin has a magical natural smell of vanilla, his dick manages to not be anything at all like any other penis on the planet.

Anita then struggles to not cock gobble. Again. Seriously, why the fuck is she always ready to bite off Nathaniel’s dick?

You’re not Ma-Ma, Anita.

JC then appears in Anita’s head like Obi-Wan, telling her to ‘feed the force ardeur’ before she eats Nathaniel’s penis.

I fought not to bite down, because some part of me knew that if I once tasted blood I would feed. I would feed, and Nathaniel might not survive it.

Why is this a recurring plot point???

Damian then appears to stop the penis feeding frenzy. Nathaniel just thought it was all so amazing and Damian offers himself as food. If JC has told her to feed, then she must, otherwise she’ll devolve into some sort of bloodlust frenzy.

“Why is it different tonight?” It was a child asking someone to explain why the monster under the bed has grown a new and scarier head.

  • Anita, you’ve been dealing with this for three books. You were TOLD and you KNOW that if you don’t feed the ardeur, it goes all fucking violent and shit. Hence the epithet ‘Anita Blake: Cock Gobbler’.
  • It really fucking creeps me out that Anita is consistently described as being like a child and that LKH repeatedly links and evokes images of children when sex is involved.
  • Because the plot says so, Anita.

Damian then just starts licking her because FUCK CONSENT he’s so lonely and empty inside that only plunging his cock inside Anita will cure him of being unhappy.

Yes, because sex is clearly the most important thing in the universe ever.

Sex is fine and all, it’s just not the best thing evurrrrrrrrr. Cake is much more satisfactory. Anyway, it doesn’t matter what Anita wants because Damian’s decided that he’s going to fuck her. She tries to pull away and say she doesn’t want to, but eh, fuck that, a man has decided that he needs sex and it’s Anita’s duty to just submit to what he wants.

His eyes filled with emerald fire, and just like that there was a line of desire carved from my mouth down his fingers, his hand, his arm, his chest, his hips, to the center of his body. I could feel him thick and rich and full of blood.

Is Damian’s dick around his stomach? Because… your pelvis isn’t the centre of your body. WORDS MEAN THINGS. Damian is enjoying this… light petting, and then Nathaniel squishes up against her back, and now all of the ardeur is just pain. Unbearable pain flowing through Anita. Anita starts screaming and Nathaniel and Damian do not stop.

This is a scary idea of what consensual sex is like.

Anita’s head is full of a boring and confusing mess of metaphysical magic. Then she flashes back to the death of her mother. Then her head is full of Nathaniel’s brother being beaten? And that totes evil bitch that changed Damian.

This is all so sexy you guise i can’t believe how hawt it is i might have to take my vest off

Damian and Nathaniel start weeping and bawling about Anita making them remember things, which makes me go WELL YOU SHOULDN’T BE DISGUSTING SEX CRIMINALS THEN, HUH? MAYBE HER MIND PULLED OUT THOSE IMAGES BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING STOP TOUCHING HER WHEN SHE HADN’T CONSENTED TO IT, HUH?

I am not fond of the men in these books. I don’t know whether you’d picked that up or not, my disdain has been rather subtle.

Anywho, this all means that somehow Nathaniel, Damian, and Anita are now a triforce. It happened because… I have no idea. I’m not sure how this happened without conscious effort and how Anita didn’t realise it, considering that it’s happened to her before?

Anita has to think about happy memories for reasons but as her life is an UNENDING PARADE OF UNCOMPARABLE ANGST she just can’t do it. But she starts to think about Nathaniel, how he’s her ‘living comfort object’ and that makes it all okay.

god i hate anita/nathaniel it’s so fucked up on both sides

Anita starts to snog Damian and then she’s like YAY ARDEUR for some reason. Why couldn’t she just feed it from JC’s sexual satisfaction? Why is the ardeur even here? Why did the editors and publishers think this was a good idea?

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3 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’ chapter twelve

  1. Oh yes, the second triforce, because Anita is so super speshul she can be in two of them at once because LKH loves orgies. Or something. I seriously don’t know, and I can’t even understand how it would be a logically good idea considering if one of the now SIX OF THEM dies, the other five are fucked.

    Wait, maybe that may be a good thing. Maybe Laurell is actually sneakier than we hope, and this will all culminate in a head shot and 90% of the cast dying a few books down the road from now because they’ll all be tied to Anita.

    • The first one makes sense, as Richard and JC are such important character, but this one? Nathaniel and Damian are such non-entities, I don’t understand why this is even happening.

  2. Hahaha consensual sex. That’s hilarious. There’s been maybe ONE sex scene in these books that didn’t have a huge dramatic reason to do it or dubious/non consent (one between Anita and Richard which I’ve heard was actually not too bad?) but was IMMEDIATELY followed up with Anita raping him, so it was ruined horribly.

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