A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’ chapter seven


By the time Nathaniel and Jason came looking for us Micah was back to normal.

There’s a distinct lack of commas in that sentence. And, again, we’re reminded of how Anita felt so threatened by possibly feeling/being treated like anyone else that she had to bring three dates to this wedding.

Normal for Micah mean that if I hadn’t seen him break down, even I wouldn’t have guessed. In fact, he was so back to normal that it made me wonder how many other breakdowns I’d missed. Or had I caused this one?

  • Does it strike anyone else as being slightly suspicious that Micah is able to emotionally breakdown and then instantly be able to act as if absolutely nothing happened? It seems, methinks, that someone has not experience one or seen one happen. I have, on both counts. It takes me a long time to calm back down.
  • I might be reading too much into it all, given that every single person in the Anita Blake universe appears to be lying and emotionally manipulating every one else, all at the same time.
  • Anita, you are not the centre of everyone’s universe. Some people react to things that are completely nothing to do with you.

Nathaniel smushes up against Anita, because Everything Is About Anita At All Times, and Jason decides to ask for sex.

“It’s after midnight, we thought you’d be outside feeding the ardeur.” His grin was way too wicked to match the mildish words.

“I’m able to go longer between feedings,” I said, “sometimes fourteen, or even sixteen hours.”

“Oh, pooh,” he said, and stamped his foot, pouting. It was a wonderful imitation of a childish snit, except for the devilish twinkle in his eye. “I was hoping to take another one for the team.”

Oh my god. The men around Anita have all recognised that childish behaviour and actions are what sexually interests Anita, and have started acting in kind. Gross. Anita turns him down but Jason is desperate to sleep with her again, for reasons I cannot fathom. Anita just lays there and does nothing when she has sex. You might as well have sex with a blow-up doll, it all amounts to the same. Anyway, being forced to have sex with Jason is only an option when there’s a sexing emergency. Everyone rushes to make sure that Anita or JC do not take any blame for this ridiculous situation – it’s all BM, ‘the wicked, sexy vampire of the west’ (what the fuck?), going around being evil and shit. They begin to praise that Anita is so strong because… I dunno, I have no idea how Anita is strong or interesting.

I laid my head on [Nathaniel’s] shoulder, curving my face into the bend of his neck, and getting that whiff of vanilla. He’d always smelled like vanilla to me. I’d thought once it was shampoo, or soap, but it wasn’t.

NO ONE SMELLS NATURALLY OF VANILLA

NO ONE

Jason has to prompt Nathaniel to ask something – because Nathaniel is keeping up this poor damaged widdly boy act – and Nathaniel is desperate to dance with her. Anita agrees. Everyone is shocked.

“Where is Anita, and what have you done with her?” Jason asked, face very serious.

Sorry, but I had to. That line is in every single bad piece of fan fiction. It is a famous sign of bad fiction, this little non-joke that always crops up in the written works of bad authors.

THE ULTIMATE PROOF AMMIRITE

Anita and Nathaniel smile and giggle at each other and go off to dance

this wedding’s lasted like seven chapters how many more will it go on? Is it the whole book? Will it ever end??

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2 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Incubus Dreams’ chapter seven

  1. I decided to finally come back and see what I’d been missing with Anita. Nice to see it’s still the same old pointless bs. Also lol forever at the vanilla. I think LKH realized people were complaining about how dumb it was, because in Kiss the Dead, Anita finally explains to us how “ok it’s not him naturally he uses body lotion BUT it just smells EXTRA GOOD on him because of his UNIQUE BODY CHEMISTRY reacting with it OKAY?!”

    That book was notable for containing a lot of “answers” to the haters, and very unsubtly so. Too bad she didn’t fix the shit that actually MATTERED. I’d be happy to tolerate somebody’s long-haired pretty boytoy who naturally smells like vanilla fantasy if it were in an otherwise good series that didn’t glorify abuse, misogyny, and absolute plotless nonsense.

    • hey gurl how you been?

      Oh, so she actually backtracked and admitted that it was down to body lotion not his natural heavenly smell? Ugh. Also, have you seen that satireknight is back on wordpress?

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