A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter fifty seven


Anita heads into the interview room where Heinrick is waiting. God, I am so uninvested in this plot. It makes no sense and I really don’t care about it.

He had an innocent face, and I knew that was a lie. Anyone who looks that innocent after thirty is either lying, or touched by the hand of God. Somehow I didn’t think Leopold Heinrick was ever going to be a saint. Which left only one question – he was lying. Lying about what? Now there was a question.

  • Of course the white guy looks innocent. Even though you KNOW he’s a wanted terrorist.
  • Of course he’s not a saint. You know he’s A WANTED TERRORIST.
  • That’s… that’s just his face. It’s not lying. It’s just there. Being his face.
  • You haven’t asked him anything, so he can’t really be lying.

There was a Styrofoam cup with coffee in front of him. It had been sitting long enough that the cream had started to separate from the darker liquid, so that swirls of paleness decorated the top of the coffee.

Does it even do that? As an aside, Anita does not shut up about the coffee the. whole. damn. chapter. Did she drug it or something? She just keeps trying to force him to drink it.

Zerbrowski made it clear that I was up to bat, but no one, including me, wanted me alone with Heinrick. He had been following, and we still didn’t know why. Agent Bradford had guessed that it was part of some plot to raise the dead for some nefarious purpose.

Lazy. Pure laziness.

Anita goes on about giving Heinrick coffee for a whole page until he gets pissed off with it. Believe me, Heinrick, you are not the only one. Anita notes that he doesn’t seem anxious or afraid, and how that’s weird. I don’t think it’s weird for a INTERNATIONALLY WANTED TERRORIST to not be afraid of being in police custody.

Why wasn’t he the least bit afraid of spending time in the St. Louis jail system?

I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because he’s an internationally wanted terrorist. (As a fun aside, why not try taking a shot every time I’m forced to say that?)

Anita shows Heinrick the pictures of the victims, and he doesn’t care. She tries asking him questions and he’s not exactly interested in answering them.

Once you get into court the lawyers get so damned picky about evidence and stuff.

pissed off

There’s a reason for that, cheesebrain. Heinrick then starts to freak out and says that Van Anders is doing this. I do not remember nor do I care who that is.

Anita then talks more about coffee, although she wishes she could just ply him with alcohol. Our hero, everybody!

Heinrick then reveals that everyone is here to try and recruit Anita. They need to ‘fool the people in the county that their leader is still alive’.

 

 

Did you hear that? It’s the sound of a good idea being pissed down someone’s leg.

Anyway, Van Anders is rushing around killing women and the people who employed this merry little band are just happy to let this happen because… yeah, sure, draw attention to the hugely illegal activities you’re ordering people to do. That makes perfect sense. Oh, no, wait they want him dead now. After he has already done this across the globe and gotten himself wanted everywhere else.

Heinrick gives them Van Anders’s address and Anita tries to work out why the crucifixion guy was killed. But seeing as LKH doesn’t care, no one else seems to care much either.

Oh, and Van Anders is a werewolf. Dolph totally didn’t come up with that out of nowhere on the basis of Jason contaminating a crime scene and his own bullshit bigotry. They needed a werewolf because they were going to kidnap Anita. I don’t know why. I don’t think LKH really knows why. This was slapped together with all the finesse of someone shoving together Barbie dolls while screaming ‘NOW KISSSSSS!’.

Anita leaves the interview room and everyone is panicking. Apparently the super special SWAT team were taken by Van Anders in some amazing action that happened off-screen because LKH does not care.

Have I conveyed enough how much LKH just DID NOT CARE about this book? People think she lost her spark or interest in writing more recently, but this book, man, it was written by someone who just didn’t give a fuck.

I’d go to the scene of the crime. I’d try to help figure out what went wrong. Because something had gone very wrong if Van Anders had taken out an entire squad from the Mobile Reserve. They’re trained to handle terrorists, hostage situations, drugs, gangs, biochemical hazards; pick your nastiness, and Mobile Reserve can handle it. Yes, something had gone terribly wrong. The question was, what?

The question is why is LKH incapable of creating a plot that makes any goddamned sense.

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7 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter fifty seven

  1. I guess with the face, she’s trying to describe one of those people who have an innocent face. The ones who go on mad rampages and kill a lot people, and yet have the media splashing their photo everywhere and going ‘he was such a nice young man, where did society go wrong?’ But she failed so utterly at describing it that I’m not sure.

    If she’d written that he was giving her a look of confusion, or the wide-eyed panic of a wrongly-accused civilian, or anything other than ‘his face. It was sitting there on his head, lying to me by not looking like a cartoon villain’, it might have been a good idea.

    So we have a werewolf killing swat teams and nailing people to walls, and we get to watch Anita pass out and flail instead?

  2. “Does it even do that?”

    I *think* so, but I rarely leave coffee sitting long enough for it to get cold. As for him not drinking, it might be that police procedural cliche of using the cup/glass the suspect drank from to get fingerprints/DNA/whatever. If so, good on him for not falling for it – it’s stale and predictable.

    “Agent Bradford had guessed that it was part of some plot to raise the dead for some nefarious purpose.”

    What makes you say that? Maybe he was hired by one of the many, many enemies Anita’s no doubt made over her career.

    “Why wasn’t he the least bit afraid of spending time in the St. Louis jail system?”

    Probably because he’d be running the place inside a day. Do you not realize that there are neo-nazi gangs in prisons? They’d probably *welcome* a guy like this.

    “They need to ‘fool the people in the county that their leader is still alive’.”

    Wait, that was the beginning of the second Johannes Cabal book. And honestly, I’m *glad* LKH wasted that opportunity – she’d only screw it up. And besides, there’s no way she’d do it as well as Jonathan L. Howard.

    “I’d go to the scene of the crime. I’d try to help figure out what went wrong. Because something had gone very wrong if Van Anders had taken out an entire squad from the Mobile Reserve. They’re trained to handle terrorists, hostage situations, drugs, gangs, biochemical hazards; pick your nastiness, and Mobile Reserve can handle it. Yes, something had gone terribly wrong. The question was, what?”

    I believe the answer is pretty damn obvious – he wolfed out and tore them to pieces. These guys might be good at all that other stuff, but none of that prepares you for a giant fucking wolf trying to tear your throat out. No, for that, you need someone like Nathaniel Cade (btw, if you haven’t read those books, you totally should – they’re awesome).

    Speaking of which, does the US government in this world have a vampire/therianthrope task force? Are they part of the armed services, or law enforcement, or whatever? Because prejudice aside, that’s a huge resource going completely untapped if they aren’t. And as stupid as some politicians can be, I can’t believe that they’d be stupid enough to make a mistake like that. Plus, it’s a great way to help society integrate – the US armed forces became integrated during/shortly after WWII, which probably helped (if not kick-started) the American Civil Rights movement.

    • – That’s true, although the amount Anita goes on about it, it’s like she takes his refusal personally as an offence against coffee.
      – If LKH doesn’t tell us the plot in exposition, we’d never understand it!
      I’d imagine a guy like Heinrick has probably spent a *lot* of time in the system already.
      That is true. Although you’d think that since these creatures have been known about for a long time, they’d have some preparation. And I have read them – at least the first one. The second one is still on my shelf, I haven’t had time to crack it open yet.
      You’d think they would, but as they’d make Anita less speshul it appears that the government is run by people with asses for cases.

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