A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter forty six


Belle Morte looked at me, out of Musette’s face, and I think I stopped breathing.

BUZZZZZZT!

Doesn’t work like that. This is first-person narration. Anita is aware of what she’s doing.

Belle Morte’s voice slid out of Musette’s mouth.

“I am vexed with you, Jean-Claude.”

oooo I’m quaking with fear. Stressed suburban mums are so terrifying. Also, very conveniently, BM’s animal to call is leopards so Anita’s bodyguards can’t do anything. How come a French vampire who has apparently never left mainland Europe can magically control animals that come from African and Asia? Anyway, BM starts monologuing about how amazing she is because she brought the MOAD’s (Mother of All Darkness) first children to life and isn’t that wonderful.

That might be more of a jaw-dropping moment if the MOAD had been introduced in any other book and wasn’t treated as one of a million subplots running around in this book.

Anita oh-so wittily points out that nyah nyah she killed two of them, so BM blandly announces her intent to punish Anita. Everyone starts jumping into the conversation to defend Anita’s honour because Musette broke the rules. BM says she will take Musette back along with Asher, as Asher clearly doesn’t belong to anyone, and she totally doesn’t believe that they did S-E-X.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

JC and BM then have a page arguing about ‘European standards’ when it comes to sex.

Stop this. Stop this. I don’t understand what ‘European standards’ are. Fuck off with your ideas about how Europe is. We don’t go bike riding down the street naked and have massive orgies in public parks, you know.

Anyway, BM claims Asher, claims Anita, and starts coming onto Anita. Oh, no, get away from the evil bisexual Anita! She’ll be all evil and sexy!

BM tries to touch her, JC panics about whether Anita consented, and then –

The emptiness filled with the smell of roses, sweet, so sweet, cloying, choking. I gasped, and all I could taste was roses. Jean-Claude caught me, or I would have fallen. The perfume of roses filled my nose, my mouth, my throat. I couldn’t swallow past it, couldn’t breathe anything but perfume. I would have screamed, but I had no air.

Gosh what a scary power.

Micah rushes forward to help her, Musette/BM doesn’t want to let go, they all fall in a big pile on the floor. Damian grabs Anita’s hand and she remembers that, oh yeah, she’s a FUCKING NECROMANCER WITH POWER OVER VAMPIRES.

Huh. There was me thinking that was just the major lynchpin of the series, but what do I know?

Anita fires up her necromancy powers because Micah is her toy to play with, nyeer nyeer. She accesses her beast, and the beasts of BM and Anita fight metaphysically. Then Anita and Micah kiss. JC starts humping air. I have no idea what’s going on. BM is getting off on this and Micah motorboats Anita.

Belle poured that misty power on us, but though she raised gooseflesh and bright sighs to our lips, there was no more. She could not call Micah as her beast because he was mine. She could not call my beast, because I was Micah’s. We truly were Nimir-Ra and Nimir-Raj, and together we were enough to keep her out of us.

Right. Micah and Anita are mystic soulmates just because.

[Jean-Claude] offered a hand to both Micah and me. Normally, I don’t let people help me up, but tonight I was wearing a long skirt, high heels, and had just had what amounted to metaphysical sex in public.

Anita can’t even let people help her because STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN. *gags* JC laughs about how this doesn’t count as sex in America, ahahahaa, and BM laughs. Then she reveals how the dead vampires are shifters and Anita is all AHAH I knew this already, and BM is confused.

Yeah, of course, no one knows how the necromancer with shifter characteristics might be able to tell how vampires are also shifters.

We then return to talking about how the MOAD is waking up. Excuse me.

WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS ALREADY IN THIS CHAPTER.

BM says she never forgets an insult and that she’s totally going to punish Anita. She then touches people and flares power and is curious about Damian, but not enough to actually question about it. She tries to take control of the vampires, but can’t, and demands to take Asher back.

christ what’s so fucking amazing about asher why is everyone fighting over him

BM is about to mind control Asher and that’s really evil.

I’m going to go back to watching House on Netflix. At least things happen on House, as ridiculous as the later seasons get.

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3 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter forty six

  1. I had never considered how weird it was for a French person to have the power to call leopards. Now I want the power to call squirrels. I want a vampire who has the power to call only red squirrels, not grey squirrels, and so she dedicates her unlife to boosting the red squirrel population. And hunting grey squirrels. She has a nice agreement with the local weresquirrels, where they mostly don’t bother each other. The weresquirrels aren’t really interested in forming big social groups like the wolves do, but every so often they all get together and play scrabble or whatever.

    This is the climax of the book. I should not be finding hypothetical weresquirrels more interesting.

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