A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter forty three


Heya gang! I have been in the Algarve in Portugal for the last week and I have had a wonderful relaxing break that I really needed. It was so nice to have a week where I didn’t have to worry about an actual single thing for six days. I wish I was back there – back there in the warm!

And onto today’s chapter. We’re so close to finishing this book – I know this has taken far, far too long to get done, especially considering how much more of the series we have to get done!

I had, of course, complained about my clothes.

headbutt

THEN PICK OUT YOUR OWN FUCKING CLOTHES.

The black velvet and blue silk seemed to be offering my breasts up like pale ripe fruits. The colours emphasized the near translucence of my skin with the undertone of blue highlights. But I knew what the blue highlights really were – blood. Blue blood inside my veins that would burst red when oxygen hit it.

laugh

LKH, your blood does not turn blue. It has never turned blue. It will never turn blue. That is a myth used in PRIMARY SCHOOLS to help demonstrate how the circulatory system works. Human blood is always red. AND THIS WAS WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WITH A DEGREE IN BIOLOGICAL SCIENCE. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE EDITOR SMOKING WHEN THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT THIS MANUSCRIPT?

This is ridiculous.

Anyway, Anita is sat there like a mannequin while men fuss and primp her and she is not allowed to make choices about her hair, her make up, and her clothes. Strong independent woman…. Micah then comes in and Anita forgets everything to cream all over herself.

Sorry, that was a little crude. But she literally zones out to stare at Micah. Again.

The colour was turquoise blue, with enough green to make his eyes blaze green. The shirt had holes at the top of his shoulder, in the middle of his upper arm, and two in the middle of his forearm. Black cord was threaded through the cloth and tied around his elbow, above and below to keep the cloth from sliding around. The cuffs were wide and stiff, with shiny black buttons, with cutouts on the underside so the skin of his wrists was bare, just at the holes at his elbows left those spots bare. His skin looked very tanned, very smooth, very warm against the turquoise.

The pants matched the shirt – and not just in color. There were holes on the sides that flashed the perfect smoothness of his hip, down to glimpses of thigh. The holes probably went farther down, but black boots cut off the view just above his knee.

The pants were so tight that he really didn’t need a belt, but there was a black cord threaded through the unnecessary belt loops that swung as Micah walked. He was actually almost to me when I realised there were holes on the inside of the pants legs, too.

That is FUGLY. Micah is ‘food’ for JC and Asher, so his clothes need to be full of clothes for easy access. Holes are easier than, I don’t know, wearing an unbuttoned shirt. Anita complains that Micah is wearing make-up (THE DEVIL’S PAINT) and has straight hair (THE DEVIL’S FLATTERY) and JC is catty because Micah doesn’t complain about being treated like an object. Although Anita never verbally complains… I guess JC gets the knowledge that the author has, because bad writing.

Anita starts actually complaining that everyone is dressed up for this super-duper-inportant banquet. Musette is attending, so it’s important and to do with BM, and there are three special mystery guests so they’re making themselves pretty to rub it in their faces about how they can’t touch them. So, JC is being a dick again. No changes there.

Some guy with Paolo is coming too and he’s bad because…. um, he just is. Then Asher dramatically reveals that Musette being here is to get revenge for Asher and JC – get ready for it…. – LEFT BELLE MORTE.

Didn’t BM kick Asher out? No, wait he was working for her again, but his issues are because she kicked him out, and JC seemed to have just drifted…. either way, this is just awful. Who cares?

“Men have killed themselves when she exiled them from her bed. Wars have been fought between rulers who were driven mad at the thought of any other man sharing Belle Morte’s favors.”

What wars. Tell me. What FRENCH wars have been fought over BM’s magical vagina? Here’s a link to all the wars involving France. Which ones were about vagina, exactly?

JC then contradicts this by saying this is about ‘politics’. Ah, vague, undefined politics. How fascinating. BM also considers herself the most beautiful woman in the world so is naturally insta-jealous of Anita.

God forbid that a female villain have a motivation that has nothing to do with her looks!

This means the guys have to be pretty because BM doesn’t see men as competition. Or something. I don’t care. This is what passes for complex political machinations in LKH’s writing.

I didn’t say it out loud, but Belle Morte wasn’t the only one who rarely did anything without having more than one motive.

Wow, that’s a buttfuck worded sentence.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter forty three

  1. In the hands of a better writer, the behinds-the-scenes politicking of the vampires would probably be interesting. Even if it is just an immortal woman who’s pissed off her boy toys left her.

    • There are so many ways the vampire politics in these books could be so interesting! But it always just devolves into THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT HAVING SEXY SEX AND THEY ARE MAD.

    • Why would she consider men competition when we live in a patriarchal society and she will had to face men wanting to control her and take away her power for all of her existence?

      • Because “political power” in this world means “who’s sexing whom”, and until Anita showed up, BM was getting the most sexings of all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s