A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter thirty nine

Anita just walks into the police station and up to the RIPT offices without anyone questioning her or stopping her. It must be nice living in a world with no rules and no consequences for any actions.

Anita is greeted in the department by Detective Jessica Arnet, who is an actual woman detective so must be a horrible whore-bag. For a start, she’s only interested in asking after Nathaniel – ick – and Anita immediately derides her appearance so we know that she’s a whore-bag.

She laid the stack of folders down on a desk, not her own, and pushed back the hair from her face. There wasn’t enough of her dark hair to push back.

Unless she has a fucking buzz cut – which would be rad – there will be hair to push back. I guess LKH has never had short hair.

It looked like an old gesture from when she’d had longer hair. The short, barely-below-ear-level cut really didn’t flatter her face. But the face was still good, triangular, with delicate bones that framed her smile nicely. I’d never really noticed, but she was pretty.

Did Nathaniel ever want to date, just date? Not the dominance and submission stuff, but like dinner and a movie.

Obviously, people into kink are only ever interested in stuff to do with their kink. They are incapable of doing anything else at all. Anita asks Jessica where Zerbrowski is, and Jessica just directs her right there. On an aside, Jessica is my name. So that’s another name from my life that’s appeared in this series. Which is weird.

I went up on tiptoe outside the door, so I could look in the little window. Television will make you think that all police interrogation rooms have huge one-way mirrors that take up almost an entire wall. Very few departments have either the budget or the space for that kind of thing. Television uses it because it’s more dramatic and makes camera work easier. It seemed to me that real life is dramatic enough without big windows, and there are no good camera angles, only pain. Or maybe I was just in a rotten mood.

‘There are no good camera angles, only pain’. Just stop. Stop writing. Stop everything. Find something else to do.

She knocks on the door and is surprised that Zerbrowski tells her to go away. You see, Dolph is in the room, despite supposedly being on leave, and it was him who brought Jason in.

“Suspect? Why is Jason a suspect?”

“You don’t want to do this in the hallway, Anita.”

“No, I don’t, I want to come in the room, so we can all talk like civilized human beings. You’re the one keeping me out in the hallway.”

Yeah, because you’re not a police officer, you are not part of the investigation, you know the suspect, and you are a butt munch. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE ROOM, IDIOT. But, of course, Zerbrowski immediately lets her in. Dolph pouts like a child and growls about how he didn’t ask for her help, even though he did, that’s why we’re in this mess. Anita demands to know why Jason was brought in.

“He has defensive wounds on his body consistent with the crime.”

… and – and that’s it? Wow. Yeah. Dolph is just doing this to make a point, right?

“He’s a werewolf and he’s got defensive wounds,” Dolph said, “if he didn’t rape our vic, then he raped somebody.”

Riiiiight. A civil rights lawyer is going to eat you alive over this.

It’s now been bumped up to a rape and murder case because LKH can’t fucking leave the crime of rape alone for a single book. There was semen all over the two crime scenes – oh, they’ve found another female victim torn to pieces, so clearly Jason did it, despite the fact he’s been with Anita pretty much the whole time, and with other people, so there are a million and one witnesses who can back him up. But he’s all cut up, so clearly, he’s a rapist. Anita is forced to admit that she was the one who ‘cut him up’.

Then there’s some timey wimey wibbly wobbly bullshit about how much Jason’s wounds have healed, but the fact is that this is all about Dolph banging his chest and proclaiming that he find werewolves and sex with werewolves disgusting. Anita  then thinks about how much the system is stacked against werewolves, vampires, and magic users, but I don’t have much sympathy seeing as 99.9% of all supernatural creatures we’ve seen in the series have been unrepentant murderous sex criminals with no self control.

Dolph is then disgusted because Anita is clearly pregnant and clearly she has no idea who the father is because she’s a sluuuuuuuut. Tammy Reynolds has been telling everyone how Anita vomited and passed out which is a clear sign of pregnancy.

“You’ve never passed out before,” Dolph said.

BULL. SHIT. Anita has passed out two or three times in every single book! Her response to a bad situation is to pass out like a fainting goat!

“Have you been tested for Vlad’s syndrome, yet?”

Thanks Dolph, thanks for reminding her that her baby might be born severely disabled (if she were pregnant).

“You’re either one of us, or you’re one of them, Anita.”

Of course, all critics of Anita are hideous unrepentant bigots. That’s how you know they’re the bad guys. Dolph goes on about how Jason is an ‘it’ and how all vampires are monsters (tru fax, that) and Anita throws it in his face that she’s now fucking two vampires, because she’s a sexual object even to herself.

“I knew you were coffin bait, I didn’t know you were a whore.”

“How’s that grandchildren problem coming, Dolph? You still got a vampire for a soon-to-be daughter-in-law?”

This must be so super awkward for Zerbrowski and Jason who are just watching this and are helpless. Dolph starts going on a HULK SMASH rampage, destroying the interview room, and making all the police officers in the building run into the room, guns drawn (which is super unsafe, you should never draw and point your gun unless you definitely are going to shoot it. Guess policies like that are why American police officers seem to be always killing people). Anyway, Dolph is upset because his son is going to be turned into a vampire, so that means doing something massively illegal to make himself feel better. Anita consoles him by saying that she hates people being made into vampires, so can he let Jason go?

Nope. He’s staying in custody. Jason is being sent to a secure facility that is supposed to be like a ‘full moon hotel’ but actually it’s an illegal prison that you can never leave and no one has stopped them because…

That’s what you get for bringing logic into this!

Anita says it’s not necessary, because Jason can control his beast, but Dolph wants him put away because he’s a werewolf.

“Locked up just because he’s a werewolf,” I said it.

Your bigotry metaphor doesn’t work considering that werewolves LITERALLY CANNOT STOP THEMSELVES FROM RAPING AND DEVOURING PEOPLE ALIVE. Everyone decides to tip-toe from the room and leave Dolph alone for a few minutes. Zerbrowski tries to be all ‘shucks I know jason ain’t guilty hurr hurr’ but Anita is sad. If it’s revealed how massively bigoted Dolph is, then the whole RIPT department is sunk.

Yeah, wouldn’t it be dreadful if a police force in Missouri was made of bigots. *raises eyebrow*. My, this has gotten awkward due to recent events.

Anita asks Zerbrowski to ensure that Dolph goes on an extended break and then runs. To be fair, I wouldn’t want to try and console Dolph. He seems like a huge asshole with a huge anger problem.


2 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter thirty nine

  1. It’s so depressing because it’s true. Not that every cop in the States is a gun-toting cowboy or bigot (or both), but it’s sadly depressing how many seem to get into the job just to be able to get away with being immense assholes with a gun on their hip.

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