A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter thirty two

Hey guys guess who shared their enlightened opinions on asexuality? On how, in her opinion, they are able to feel and profess love?

I would like to confirm on behalf of the asexual community that, yes, we do feel emotion. Because we are NOT BROKEN OR DEFECTIVE. I just don’t experience sexual attraction. It doesn’t mean I am an emotionless husk that is incapable of relating to feelings, thoughts, or the world around me.

It’s as simple as that. So fuck off.

We ended up in the bedroom but not for anything fun.


Sorry, I’m grumpy today. It’s almost as if lots of people think that I was born broken and defective, and are happy to propagate that bullshit.

Anita talks about how JC looks again.

Seeing his face free of all hair made him look more like a boy to me. It was the bones of his cheeks that saved his face from being utterly feminine. He was still beautiful, but an inch closer to handsome without that black veil of hair.

Because God forbid anyone look like a dirty filthy pulsating sack that might have a vagina.

Asher was still clothed in nothing but the dried blood and the spill of all his own hair.

spill (third-person singular simple present spills, present participle spilling, simple past and past participle spilled or spilt)

  1. (transitive) To drop something so that it spreads out or makes a mess; to pour.
    I spilled some sticky juice on the kitchen floor.
  2. (intransitive) To spread out or fall out, as above.  [quotations ▼]
    Some sticky juice spilled onto the kitchen floor.
  3. (transitive) To drop something that was intended to be caught.  [quotations ▼]
  4. To mar; to damage; to destroy by misuse; to waste.  [quotations ▼]
  5. (obsolete) To be destroyed, ruined, or wasted; to come to ruin; to perish; to waste.  [quotations ▼]
  6. To cause to flow out and be lost or wasted; to shed.  [quotations ▼]
  7. To cover or decorate with slender pieces of wood, metal, ivory, etc.; to inlay.
    (Can we find and add a quotation of Spenser to this entry?)
  8. (nautical) To relieve a sail from the pressure of the wind, so that it can be more easily reefed or furled, or to lessen the strain.

Each time you use this fucking word, I’m going to pull up this definition.

Also, the bed sheets are still absolutely covered in Anita’s blood. Ew. That’s disgusting. Don’t you have employees to clean up when you kill people? Anyway, JC is annoyed because Asher tried to mentally rape Anita. And mentally raping Anita is JC’s job.

“Anita has felt me feed. She knew that I could roll her mind completely. She did not say not to do it. She said for me to take her, to feed from her, so I did. I did what she told me to do, and she was aware of how I would do it, because she has fed me once before.”

What she consented to the night before is completely different to waking up and thinking OH HEY I’M GOING TO RAPE YOUR MIND FOR FUN.

Asher whines that he only did it because all vampires that bite Anita get under her power, so it’s all the filthy slut’s fault, it’s not his responsibility to behave or control himself.

I really hate this book and these characters. They are reprehensible.

Anita proves that Asher isn’t in her power by… doing nothing, and starts to think about sex.

“Anita, I am thinking of you, too. The pale spill of your back, the curve of your hip, the mound of your ass, underneath me. The feel of me rubbing along the soft warmth of your skin.”

Just because your characters fuck a lot, it doesn’t mean that it’s a good relationship or even that they have good chemistry. All they do is rut like pigs, and it’s dull. And I saw you use ‘spill’. That’s not what that word means. Then JC laughs at Anita because she finds talking about sex uncomfortable. FUCK YOU JC YOU ARE THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER.

Asher then whines EVEN MORE. This book should be called ‘French Vampires Whining’, that’s all that happens.

“You told me you wanted me inside you, as I remember. And when I bared your neck you said, ‘Yes, Asher, yes.'”

“I remember what I said.”

“Then how can you be angry at me for doing what you asked? How can you blame me for this?”


  • She’s angry at you for WAKING UP AND DECIDING TO MIND RAPE HER.
  • Furthermore, she’s allowed to be angry for you deciding to not just bite her, but rip open her neck and cause her severe blood loss! She didn’t ask for that! You went too far!

JC is all HURR HURR we could be having a threesome but you went too far Asher, and Anita says how Asher ‘cheated’.

He stared at me openmouthed. “How did I cheat?”

“Ma petite does not allow vampire trickery to be played upon her.”

Oh, yes, and that. Asher is basically a walking bag of dicks and I wish he would die in a fire.

I would like to reassure my actual friend Asher, who is a great guy and not an awful rapey vampire, that I hope he never dies in a fire and that I feel awful that this character has the same name as him.

Asher (vampire) is all I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN WOULD NOT WANT TO BE MIND RAPED BY YOU JC and I start sharpening up a fucking stake or two because i hate this i hate that this shit is sold as progressive and sex positive when it’s the same old bullshit that degrades women and says they are objects to be enjoyed by men

Asher whines some more about how Anita being pissed means that she doesn’t want to have sex with him.

“You’ve messed with my mind, I don’t think that’s just a faux pas. I think that’s damn serious.”

“So you did lie,” Asher said, his face almost empty of any expression.

I hated watching him shut himself away like this, but I didn’t know what to do to stop it.

If he can’t behave and function like a responsible and decent person, then don’t even try. Just get him out of your life!

“I changed nothing. You said we would be together. You offered me to your bed. You begged me to be inside you. Jean-Claude said that your sweet ass was not to be touched, and the deep pleasure of your body was full, where was I supposed to go?”

oh my god shut up shut up shut up shut up you disgusting piece of shit

Asher then whines EVEN MORE about how he knew Anita would reject him, WAAA WAA WAA.

You raped her mind and ripped into her throat. This is about you being an awful person, Asher, wake up and smell the shit sundae.

Asher starts walking in the slowest way possible to make as much DRAMA as possible and saying loudly about how he’s going to go somewhere else. Fine, go, I hope the door cuts your dick off as you leave. Anita says he should stay – WHY? – and he starts screaming about how life’s soooooo unfair.

Just go and join the MRA movement, Asher. You’re already sounding like their poster boy.

Asher and JC then puff up like toads and argue about who’s been able to feed on Anita’s blood, eh, mine mine mine, and Asher says that not drinking blood is practically celibacy for them, how could Anita be so cruuuuuuueeeellllll.

Asher goes all out, screaming and wailing about how Anita won’t let them truly be vampires so she doesn’t really loved them, she’s just playing mean games and that she makes all men not do the stuff they really like, she’s such a BIG OLD MEANIE AND HE HATES HER FOR BEING SO CRUUUUUEEEEELLLLLL.

Asher, if feeding is so damn important, then hire a prostitute or find a willing donor somewhere else. Bitching and whining about how your girlfriend won’t do something she’s comfortable with, or trying to force her into doing it, is just Abuse 101. She’s said no. Move on and grow up.

Asher finally walks out, saying how much he’s been punished – not punished enough, mate, just you watch out – and now JC is all miserable because his rapey playmate is gone. Anita’s getting kicked out because she just isn’t sorry enough.

For once, Anita has relatively little to be apologising for. JC, are you asking your girlfriend to apologise to the man who mind raped her because it inconveniences you?

Worst. Boyfriend. Ever.

Anita is all sad and thinks about how much JC would have hurt her if she’d stayed.

Nice. That’s healthy!


7 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter thirty two

    • I think Asher is probably my least liked character. He’s full of angst and is highly unlikable. But then at the same time it seems all the characters are horrible top each other. It’s just a matter of who is the victim this time and he’s the aggression/rapist/manipulator….

  1. Oh my god, LKH said something about asexuality? Link?

    Ugh, so, I never read CS and now I feel really conflicted because I felt really bad for Asher and defensive of him in the last few books where he was basically the new Richard and now I’m like wait so he was a terrible person, just…not in the way LKH was saying in those books but in this way instead? WHY DOES NO ONE GET CALLED OUT FOR THE SHIT THEY ACTUALLY *DO* BUT THEN HAVE CRIMES MADE UP DOES LKH NOT SEE THIS BULLSHIT AS BAD WELL I GUESS NOT

    • ‘Asexuals feel love, my understanding’

      Just… this makes me so angry. Very angry. Like, asexuals never get any representation and no one seems to get it right when it’s so fucking simple. We’re not weird broken people, it’s not hard to understand!

      I just hate asher all round. Which makes me feel bad, because i have a good friend with the same name.

      • LKH frequently conflates sex and love in her books when she talks about the latter. Not as in “sex equals love, if you’re having sex you’re in love” but as in “love equals sex, if you’re not having sex how can you be in love” so I can see her being legitimately baffled by asexuals feeling love. Note that this is not a defense of her statement, it’s a “I’m not even surprised by it”

        Also it bothers me that she’s basically finding a way for her sex-vamps to go after ace people.

      • Don’t worry, I know you’re not defending her bullshit. I just find her so close minded it actually makes me angry

        Huh, I’d like to see that happen.
        AB!Vamp: *tries to ardeur me*
        Me: Man, I could eat some doughnuts right now. *walks off*

  2. ‘Anita’s version has turned to more love-based’

    Why? What relation do a love power and a lust power have? It’s nice when they go together, but love and lust often aren’t related at all. I’ve lusted after people I don’t love, and I love a lot of people I don’t lust after. As I understood it, the purpose of the ardeur was to allow a vampire to feed off lust instead of blood. Because feeding off lust was much less noticeable, and it provided another food source, it gave vampires that carried the ardeur an advantage. Why would that change to making people fall in love?

    And making people fall in love isn’t infallible. Have you read Mercy Thompson? It actually dealt with that issue really well.

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