A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter thirteen

JC releases the ardeur and… storms of waves happen. You know, generally urpley stuff. Sechsy. It washes away JC’s and Anita’s clothes through *~magic~*.

I took Asher into my mouth and explored the perfection of him, found the one thin scar that trailed down his scrotum. I sucked the ridge of scar tissue into my mouth and made him cry out above me.

do not want

Sorry, I just don’t find people sucking on thick ridges of scar tissue very erotic. Then Asher and JC flip over, so Anita’s on top of JC and Asher’s behind her.

Asher pushed himself against my back, wedged between the cheeks of my buttocks.

Um, not only is that super non-sexy, but has Anita ever done anal before? You can’t just shove something up your ass and expect super fun happy times. You have to take time to prepare for it, otherwise that’s gonna hurt.

“Non, mon chardonneret, we have done no preparation. She has never had it done before.”

Dimly I realized what I’d asked and was happy someone could think well enough to stop me from letting others hurt me.

Um, you shouldn’t be happy that someone doesn’t want your anal sphincter ripped up. It should GO WITHOUT SAYING THAT YOUR PARTNER WOULDN’T WANT SOMEONE TO PHYSICALLY INJURE YOU. Why the hell should I laud JC for stopping Anita from bleeding out the ass? I don’t laud myself for not smacking people! It goes without saying that people should not want others to receive physical harm!

I rode Jean-Claude’s body, while Asher’s body rode mine. Jean-Claude’s hands were on my waist, holding me in place, steadying me, directing me, the way you lead a dance partner.

This is just a laundry list of sex. There’s no emotion, no passion. It’s just ‘and then I put his cock inside me and it was very sexy’. It’s dull fucking. Anita starts to org so demands that Asher ‘be inside me’. He bites her and ZOMG BEST FEELING EVUR. Ah, yes, he has the ability to cause orgasms with his bites. Handy.

Asher’s hand on my breast, tight enough for pain now, the feel of him so solid, so wet from his own body, so that he moved in a channel of his own moisture, yet I knew he had not come.

Ewww moisture is a awfully unsexy word it makes me think of damp

Everyone flails around like fish as the ardeur zips around and Asher apparently rips Anita’s neck open.

It was the kind of pleasure you’d beg for, kill for, maybe, maybe even let yourself die for.

Yeah, well, is it as nice as teaching your niece how to be the most awesome metal drummer of all time, complete with headbanging? I am the world’s coolest aunt, trufax.

Everyone collapses in a pile. Anita’s body does not work any more.

The first edge of nausea hit me, and I knew it was blood loss. I touched my neck and found that blood was still seeping from the puncture wounds. That shouldn’t have been happening. Should it? I never donated blood voluntarily. I didn’t know how long the wounds should bleed.

I tried to lift with my arms, like doing a push-up, and the world swam in streams of colors, dizziness threatened to engulf the world. I did the only thing I could think of – I screamed.

The strong independent vampire executioner, who surely has dealt with colleagues who have been severely bitten by vampires, has been severely bitten by vampires before, cannot think to do anything but lay there and scream. Wow. Such professionalism. *rolls eyes*

5 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter thirteen

  1. How can a sex scene between two vampires famous for their sexual powers and a woman who contains a power that makes her a living succubus be this unsexy? I’ve read more arousing dictionaries.

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