A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter eight


Musette is incredibly smug about upsetting Asher. Have I mentioned lately that I love Musette? ‘Cause I do. She’s a villain with actual personality doing an action which is designed to emotionally and mentally hurt a ‘hero’, rather than showboating in a way designed to make her easy to kill.

I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Damian helps Anita and JC up from their swoon. Musette, seeing how upset everyone is, presses her advantage and demands presents. JC says they haven’t prepared anything so far in advance (what, does a bath bomb set take long to buy?) but Musette is like, whatevs, I what presents now.

I found my voice and it wasn’t bland. “How dare you come here three months early, knowing we won’t be prepared, and make demands on us?” Damian was clinging to my back a little frantically, but I was polite, for me.

On a scale of ‘I’m going to eat a whole giant pizza then drink a two lire bottle of Fanta’ to ‘Why don’t we try invading Russia in the middle of winter’, how bad of an idea is it to include Anita in situations that require tact and delicacy?

Damian is worried Anita is a poor weak wimmins so he cradles her body. JC starts to panic but Musette shushes him so Anita can dig her own grave.

I opened mu mouth to call her a heartless bitch, but it wasn’t what came out. “Did you believe that gifts worthy of such beauty could be hurried? Would you really take some poor substitute in the place of the magnificence we had commissioned?”

Swear to the god that is milkybar buttons, that’s the only intelligent thing JC has ever done in these books. Although if I was Musette I’d just say ‘Fine, well I’ll come back for those presents. Give me another one now’. JC waffles about how only one person compares to the beauty of Musette and Anita doesn’t mind that (sensible, considering). Musette elects to twist the knife a little, so Anita says that compared to the ‘otherworldly triplets here’ she’s clearly not that beautiful. This includes Asher, and Musette can’t believe anyone would find him attractive. He’s, like, all gross. Musette lacks the ability to tell if Anita is lying or not, which supposedly means she has a bad case of denial. I thought that Anita was able to mask emotions and things from vampires. Apparently that’s been forgotten.

Musette doesn’t understand why Anita is totes okay with being the ‘homely one of the group’. Yeah, no, not buying it. This is blatant Anita bitching about how she’s not attractive so one of her MANY RIDICULOUSLY ATTRACTIVE BOYFRIENDS can console her later. Yeah, seeing as how EVERY MAN YOU MEET THROWS HIMSELF TO THE GROUND FOR YOU, I ain’t believing that Anita thinks she’s ugly.

I have serious issues with my looks. I honestly have trouble looking at my own body. If I wear a swimsuit in public, I normally cover myself up with a big t-shirt. I like wearing baggy clothes and I get serious anxiety if I wear anything I think might expose parts of myself that I’m not comfortable with showing – like anywhere below my collarbone and above my knees. I have been mocked and bullied enough for my looks that I doubt I’ll ever be fully comfortable with my appearance.

I don’t see any of that in Anita Blake. Don’t tell me she thinks she’s ugly. I’ve lived it, and I know when people are lying to me.

“Truth is truth, Musette. I’ve broken the cardinal girl rule.”

“And what would that be?”

“Never date anyone prettier than you are.”

Sorry, attractive men of the world, our love is just not meant to be.

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Musette says that feeding on Anita would not be a satisfactory present, so she wants Asher instead. JC says nuh uh, and Musette starts talking about Meng-Die for some reason because it introduces random vampire bullshit about how master vamps have to visit their master one last time and JC didn’t do that when he became master because LKH invented that for this book and now BM is really pissed off because JC is so super powerful now and that means he has no duties to her any more.

Let me get this straight. JC is in control of one city in the US. BM is a council member, thousands of years old, and politically powerful nationally. Um, yeah, those two seem comparable.

Musette wants Asher because BM might recall him home after he went AWOL after Yvette died. Whoops. Asher, you’re an idiot.

JC blathers on about how BM has always wanted her vampires to be independent – yeah, sure looks that way – and Musette calls him out by saying that Asher just wanted revenge. Musette implies that Asher and JC are back together which horrifies Anita because EW BOY COOTIES? MEN CAN’T SLEEP WITH MEN AND LIKE WOMEN TOO THAT’S DISGUSTING.

Asher moans about how BM is sickened by how disgusting he is, only for Musette to lay a totally sick burn by pointing out that JC (and, by extension, Anita) are similarly disgusted with him. Anita pipes up that it’s her rampant biphobia that’s the real problem here. Jokes, that would imply LKH respects bisexuals. Nope, Anita just claims it’s her fault.

“What do you mean, servant?”

“You know, even if I was like, a maid, I know enough about polite society to know that you don’t call a maid, simply, maid. You don’t call a servant, servant, not unless you have never truly interacted with servants. Is that it, Musette? Are you not an aristocrat, after all? Is it all pretend, and you simply don’t know any better?”

  • What did the humble comma ever do to you? I’m sorry, but if you consider that good writing, I shudder to think what you think bad is.
  • like seriously what the shit is up with those commas
  • I can’t get over them.
  • When have you ever had servants, Anita? What the hell do you know about addressing servants? What, did your veterinarian father have money for a butler and twenty maids?
  • If you’re trying to tell me that a Latina woman would instinctively know about servants, go sit in the corner and think about what you’re implying.
  • I doubt Anita knows anything about polite society. She’s thoroughly lower middle class, does not mix in high society, and is not polite.
  • Are you shitting me about this ‘oh, don’t call me servant’ balls? Have you any idea how servants have been treated throughout history? I don’t think a noble girl from six hundred years ago would give a shit about the opinion of her servants and would probably have them beaten for talking back.

“What I mean is that I’m not entirely comfortable with this bisexual thing. I won’t share Jean-Claude with another woman, and definitely not with a man.”

So, Anita finds men having sex with each other disgusting. Glad we got that out in the open. I just have to question what’s so amazing about Anita that JC is turning his back on someone he’s had a intense romantic relationship with for several centuries. We never see Anita and JC interacting. They never converse. They never have fun together. We never see them laughing or just spending time with each other. Just what does he see in her?

Musette says great, that means Asher doesn’t belong to anyone and she can have him for the night.

“I thought you agreed with Belle that Asher isn’t pretty enough to have sex with anymore.”

He is stood right next to you Anita. I don’t think you’re helping his self-esteem.

JC explains that Musette is actually into torture. Well, it’s ‘dominance and submission’ (because LKH can’t even bring herself to say BDSM) but as Musette doesn’t use safe words, it’s pretty much torture. Anita feels bad because since no one’s sleeping with Asher, it’s okay for Musette to torture him.

WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE THING IN THESE BOOKS REVOLVE AROUND SEX

Why was I always being made to feel guilty because I wasn’t having sex with more people?

I’m sorry that was so stupid I actually zoned out. Just go and write porn.

Musette whips out a knife and just stabs Asher in the stomach. I like the fact she’s as fed up with this shit as I am.

Anita decides to fight Musette in hand-to-hand combat.

The incredibly old and incredibly strong vampire.

Yeah.

You’re really stupid.

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7 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Cerulean Sins’ chapter eight

  1. “{On a scale of ‘I’m going to eat a whole giant pizza then drink a two lire bottle of Fanta’ to ‘Why don’t we try invading Russia in the middle of winter’, how bad of an idea is it to include Anita in situations that require tact and delicacy?”

    I’m going to say starting a colony on Antarctica with 18th century tech in the middle of winter.

  2. The bit with “oh are you not really an aristocrat” always read to me as weird. Like, earlier Anita was all PEASANT PRIDE but when she says this, it came off to me not as “just trying to mess with Musette” and more “actual classism which we, the reader, are supposed to agree with and look down on Musette with her for not being a real noblewoman from times past”….which is simultaneously obnoxious, makes no sense coming from Anita’s background, and also clashes entirely with her earlier PEASANT PRIDE stuff. It’s been awhile since I read it myself, so maybe I’m wrong, but this seems like another case of Anita flip-flopping on whatever side of an issue will make her seem most “right” at the time and LKH writing it each time as if Anita 100% is sincere….which makes both cases instead seem insincere.

    Yeah, Anita never shows any signs of her supposed appearance-issues, you’re right. She’ll say this stuff, but we never actually see her ACT like it’s true. So…like everything else she says about herself, I guess, what a surprise.

    BTW, I realize I missed today’s session. Remember that time I had my period? Remember that time my brother’s family came over? Both happened today. That said, I feel like I’ve just missed too many and it’s become really rude and neglectful on my part as GM, and I’m thinking I might drop it? I mean I don’t wanna end things for you guys but at the same time I’m clearly not honoring the commitment I made either

  3. The bit about “never date a man prettier than you are” made me laugh, because that’s a rule I have. But at least I admit it’s my own insecurities. Because Wordy McWord on knowing how it feels to be an ‘ugly’ girl. I am with you in that club, and for what it’s worth- I think you’re supercute! Not just because of your looks (which are okay by me :-))but because your sense of humor is awesome and that makes you way more attractive then the littlest Hobbit with the biggestest boobs.
    (Sorry if that’s too personal? I don’t know, I just know I want to be nothing like Anita.)

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