A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Narcissus in Chains’ chapter fifty one


Sorry for taking an extended break – I haven’t been very well over the past few days. My IBS flares up in the heat, and it’s been thirty degrees in my town during the day. I haven’t been coping well, shall we say.

Two things highlighted this time. The first of which is LKH gleefully tweeting about how African states with ongoing civil wars and political instability have a higher murder rate than the US, something I found exceptionally distasteful. Yeah, why not celebrate the fact people are dying in misery because it makes your country look better!

Ha. Ha. Ha.

But luckily this video made things better.

THEY’RE SO FLUFFY. THEY TAKE MY WORRIES AWAY.

JC rolls off Micah… even though I don’t think he was on top of him in the last chapter, and he’s all bleeding everywhere. Anita panics and screams for Asher, DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE CAN HEAL VAMPIRES. Anita looks at JC and describes all his wounds and flesh as being like various precious stones and sculpture materials. They have a triforce moment and then Jason runs into the room. Micah is knelt behind them.

Micah fell back, screaming, “Nooo!”

or something

Well, I’d like to see you try and explain what the fuck is going on. I also can’t take seriously any book that actually uses ‘Nooo!’ in dialogue. Nooooo indeed. It’s hammy and affected and I don’t like it.

I swayed, as if part of my support was gone, then Nathaniel was there, and the world was solid again.

I don’t understand what’s happening.

Anita stares at JC until he heals.

I smelled roses, not the faint perfume of potpurri, but thick, melt-on-your-tongue, old-fashioned garden roses, as if I were drowning in the cloying sweetness of them. It was like being dipped in honey that you knew had poison in it.

or something

I have no idea what’s going on here.

Anita appears to be having some sort of Belle Morte head trip.

I saw [Belle Morte] sitting in her room by fire and candlelight, as if electricity hadn’t been invented.

You might be in JC’s memories so… you have a jelly-bean brain. But it would appear that Belle Morte is trying to take over JC’s brain so Anita casts her out.

“She weakened my control of the ardeur.”

“And your control of your temper.”

Ah. I see. How convenient. And poorly established. Anyway, everyone laughs about this great big misunderstanding and Bobby Lee The Hick Bodyguard makes jokes about how oh, well now he won’t get kicked out of the bodyguard union! Such hilarity!

Asher and JC start talking in French. Apparently, some vampire called Marcel flipped out and killed his vampire servant one night, killing himself.

“No one ever understood what had caused it,” Jean-Claude said.

“So fortuitous,” Asher said, “only two nights before he would have fought Belle for her Council seat.”

TPhoto_00098

I thought JC was supposed to be some Machiavellian genius. And he wasn’t able to connect the two events for centuries? GOOD LORD.

Anyway, no one was ever able to prove the connection ever because vampires are really, really, really, really, really, really stupid. Apparently, no one thought to check whether Belle Morte might have used magic.

YOU ARE MAGIC CREATURES

AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT MAGIC?

ARGDHDDHDHFFFFF

“That she could do this to a Master of the City that was not her bloodline would be unthinkable.”

“Impossible,” Asher added.

“I think it’s like real possible,” I said. “I caught her in the act.”

Why did Anita say ‘like’ in that sentence? It doesn’t fit into her character voice at all. She’s a professional who’s almost thirty. I don’t buy that she routinely says ‘like’. Micah starts asking about Belle Morte, as if it’s any of his business, and Anita pouts which means his men who are suddenly in the room jump in front of him. Micah bitches about how the fight was justified and Anita reminds him that if JC dies, she dies. Micah pouts about how he could have died – despite the fact that he’s perfectly okay now without a mark on him.

“If he had not held me off more, I would have torn his throat out.”

I turned back to Jean-Claude. “What are you saying?”

“I saw him on top of you, and I was drowning in jealousy. I meant him harm, ma petite. He defended himself.”

Liar. You helped pin her down. LIAAAAARRRRRR.

Anita still doesn’t understand what happened so JC has to confirm he would totes kill Micah. Suddenly, he’s not ok with Micah abusing his girlfriend, despite being perfectly happy with it earlier. Anita says that they’re both so reasonable which….

No. They’re not reasonable. At all.

Now JC and Micah are friends.

“Jesus, only men could get a friendship out of something like this.”

No. No one would make a friendship out of trying to brutally murder each other. They apologise to each other. JC says he needs to feed on blood now. Micah and JC swap limp come-ons. Micah goes all… nude or something. JC says he’s going to run and have a bath because he can’t feed on someone if he has blood on him.

Right.

Anita makes a crack about how JC takes so long to get ready and Bobby Lee the Hick makes a joke about, HYUCK HYUCK, women primp and take forever to get ready!

This chapter didn’t do anything. There was no point of any of this.

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6 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Narcissus in Chains’ chapter fifty one

  1. She’s WHAT? I am so glad I don’t follow her twitter even for the lulz/trainwreck factor, because just HEARING that (so to speak) made me too mad to even read the rest of this (though I’m sure it was an excellent spork)

    • She tweeted this big list of countries that LOL HAVE WORST GUN MURDERS THAN THE US but they were all countries of non-Caucasian ethnicities and ones with wars/civil instability/ a lot of socio-economic policies.

      So, not only massively offensive, but also if your country is among those for gun murder rates? That’s not good. THAT IS NOT GOOD.

  2. I want to make some sort of witty remark, but so little actually happened/made sense in this chapter that I’ve got nothing to go on. Although I did laugh when I read about Micah going “Nooo!”. I imagined it to be something like Darth Vader in Episode 3.

    I hope you get better soon!

    • I’ll be fine when the weather cools down a bit. Heat to me is like silver to a werewolf. Or consistency in writing for LKH.

      If you want people to wake a work seriously, never seriously never use the NOOOOOO trope. It drags people right out the narrative.

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