Edward drives Anita to the hospital, before going to pick up one of Donna’s witch friends to look at the crime scene.
… Why doesn’t the FBI special supernatural unit have experts in magic attached to it? Why does a civilian – with no experience of working in a crime scene, so is going to have to see two hideously mutated corpses – have to be brought in?
Olaf stayed to commune with the bodies.
Why did you use the word ‘commune’?
Anita is all sad because the police and FBI think she’s ‘nuts’ because ‘what did I mean, the survivors weren’t survivors, but the living dead?’. Yeah, that’s the reason why people hate you. Anita is also going to see a brujo, ‘a witch’. Even though brujeriais a VERY SPECIFIC type of magic found in Argentina, so I have no idea why a random guy in the middle of New Mexico is one. Maybe he just read the term in a book and thought it was cool.
He would work evil spells for money, as well as personal vengeance.
Of course, the man who performs South American magic is evil! All people of colour are evil, don’tchaknow.
And LKH wonders why people call her racist.
His name was Nicandro Baco,
Why does he have the name of a Celtic god?
and he was supposed to be a necromancer. If he was, he’d be the first one, other than me, that I’d ever met.
Did you just forget about Dominic from The Killing Dance? He was a necromancer too! And Niki, the human servant in Blue Moon. Did you manage to forget you wrote those books?
Bernardo is coming with Anita, because, you know, he’s the expert on POC. He’s also very unhappy because SHOCK HORROR Anita was talking with another man!!!!!!! This clearly means she’s a giant slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bernardo then starts talking about how he’s just an assassin and hasn’t got time for this Mickey Mouse bullshit. Anita tells him to just ‘go home’ and I agree with her on this. If you don’t like investigating crime, then you don’t have to investigate crime. You can go do your regular job. He then asks about Plot Point Harley, and what it was like killing him, and then… the dialogue sort of falls into a mess and I’m not sure who is talking or why, and then Anita says ‘we were literally running out of daylight’ despite saying on the other page that there’s three hours until sundown. Did the three hours just… go?
They then compare how long they’ve known Edward. I thought Edward was driving them? Why isn’t he butting into the conversation? Bernardo then is all ‘hurr hurr you can pump me all you like’ and when Anita isn’t interested, gets pouty that girls make things complicated.
Yeah, not being interested in sex is just one of those complicated girl things.
Anita brings up that Edward encouraged her to sleep with Bernardo, as he’s just another person who sees Bernardo as a useful object.
and then they start talking about race
“You may look like the cover boy for the Native American GQ, but there’s no sense of you coming from a different culture?”
“Too white for you?” and his voice was angry. I’d touched a chip on his shoulder.
Um, yeah. Because you’ve just basically said ‘So, how come you’re wearing clothes, and not dancing around nude in facepaint with lots of feathers plaited in your hair, before riding off to make smoke messages in the sky???’. I’d find that pretty fucking offensive, to be accused of not acting enough like my cultural group to satisfy racist bitches.
“Look, my mother’s family is Mexican American, and you have a sense of their culture when you interact with them. My father’s family is German, and they’ll say things, do things that are sort of European or have a foreign flavor to them. You talk like generic middle America, like television or something.”
HEY YOU ETHNIC DUDE
YOU ACT TOO MUCH LIKE THE WHITE MAN!
GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR WHERE YOU BELONG SCUM!
Could you try to be a little less racist, please?
Bernardo reveals that he is of mixed heritage. His mother, who was Native American, gave him up due to the death of his father. He was bounced around the care system until he was eighteen because ‘no one wanted a little mixed baby’. That feels real and believable, to me. There is inherent racism in the system, and white people are arseholes enough to say shit like that. Bernardo is believably bitter about this, and I don’t think Anita’s whole ‘WHY DON’T YOU ACT LIKE A REAL NATIVE AMERICAN, DANCE FOR ME, DANCE REDFACE!’ schtick is helping.
Saying I was sorry would have been insulting.
How? Admitting that you were incredibly cruel and very racist is ‘insulting’? How patronising of you.
Bernardo then begs her for pity sex. Thanks for ensuring that my sympathies are always crushed, Bernardo. Anita says that she doesn’t want to sleep with him – AGAIN – but makes pains to reassure him it’s not because of his ethnicity. Why would you stress that? Why can’t you just say – as you go on to say – that your love life is already very complicated?
She admits that her love life revolves around a vampire and a werewolf, to which Bernardo retorts, ‘well, Edward won’t like that’. Honestly Anita, aren’t you aware that your life decisions should revolve around what the men in your life think is acceptable?
“Is your vampire an old one?”
Nope. He could never hope to be that awesome.
They then talk about Richard’s dick.
ha ha ha
and then how good JC is in bed, and Bernardo is SAD because he can’t compete with the techniques learnt over centuries
JC doesn’t even know anything about bondage or fetish scenes. He is all vanilla, no sprinkles, no fruits, and no sparklers.
Plus he doesn’t listen to radio four
And, oh yeah, what’s that other thing JC does….. OH THAT’S RIGHT STALK WOMEN, MIND RAPE THEM, AND THEN ACTUALLY RAPE THEM.
Don’t go on about his sexual prowess. I read the rape scene.
They pull up (who is driving the car?) outside a rundown street block, because of course, that’s where POC all live. In rundown and shitty areas of town. Anita gets magic prickles.
“There it is, Los Duendos, the dwarves.”
That means ‘The Tames’. Dwarf in Spanish is ‘Enano’.
Anita is all panicky about the death magic everywhere.
Too late to get Edward down here for backup.
- You’ve got Bernardo with you. Doesn’t he count?
- Oh, wow, you’re so tuff Anita, you need a man to protect you.
- Edward WAS DRIVING YOU IN THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER. Where did he go??
I think the editor just mainlined a huge pile of something illegal rather than face reading this shit.