The chapter opens up with Bernardo and Olaf squabbling over the fact that one isn’t allowed to sleep with women while the other isn’t allowed to murder them.
I don’t really have much patience left with this bullshit.
The gang draw up to a ranch in the middle of nowhere that is surrounded by police cars, ambulances, and fire engines. There are horses running around which Anita thinks is unnatural, presumably because she thinks horses hover a inch or so above the ground. The police keep them waiting outside for a while and then Marks shows up.
“Who are the men in the back?”
“Otto Jefferies, and Bernardo Spotted-Horse.” I notices that Olaf had to use an alias, but Bernardo got to keep his real name. Guess who was wanted for crimes elsewhere.
And you could tell the police that. Right now. Have him arrested. But you’re just going to sit back and not do a thing, aren’t you?
Edward gives some patter about Bernardo being a bounty hunter and Olaf working for the government, but Marks isn’t having any of it – gotta love him – and makes them stay in the car. Olaf then does a magical scary look that freaks Marks out.
Marks then glares at Anita. Edward and Anita are shown into the house, which is full of plainclothes officers, so Anita complains about how the feds always spoil her fun. Those mean people who make me obey the law, I hate them! She then spends a whole page talking about all the ‘flavours’ of police men standing outside the house, how Marks hates her so much, and then mentions a police officer is getting his hand bandaged. Anita then goes on about how awful it is that she can lie with her eyes.
I want to hear about the injured police officer. I want to hear about the crime. I want to read about the investigation and mystery you’re supposed to be solving!
The officer was bitten by one of the surviving victims. There are two survivors, one dead, and three people unaccounted for. Anita goes into the house and immediately starts freaking out about the fact there’s a dead body. You’d think that she’d be over that in the ninth book.
The smell of fresh death is like a cross between an outhouse and a slaughterhouse.
It was like drowning in the scent of raw hamburger.
… either the place stinks of shit or it smells like meat, make up your mind.
The smell freaks Anita out so much she debates running away and going back to St. Louis. Anita, how many crime scenes have you been at by now? You’re not very tuff if you still panic and freak out at them.
Special Agent Bradley from Bloody Bones is here, as he apparently is in charge of the brand new preternatural division of the FBI, because of course the FBI were behind the times in regards to solving crimes committed by supernatural people, what wonderful world building.
The FBI tries to avoid sensational buzzwords like serial killer or preternatural or monster. But call it what you like, a spade’s a spade.
If preternatural is too sensational to be used officially, then why is RIPT called that? Shouldn’t it be R – special research – t? But then, that wouldn’t make a clever acronym, would it. Bradley is happy to see Anita, and introduces her to another agent, Franklin.
“Let’s say I’m sceptical of civilians with no special training coming into a crime scene.”
I raised eyebrows at the “no special training”. Edward and I exchanged glances. The Ted face was slipping, letting some of his own natural cynicism leak into those blue eyes, that nearly boyish face.
- You know how to kill vampires. That is no help at all at this crime scene.
- You know how to kill all things. That is no help at all at this crime scene.
- You are both civilians.
- Neither of you have any investigative skills.
- Neither of you have any forensic skills.
- Edward appears to be willing to murder a FBI agent for being honest. What a guy.
Anita and Edward laugh at Franklin, who is easily dismissed by Bradford. Yes, LKH managed to forget what Bradley was called. Over the space of a single page. Anita then drags her feet about going to look at the body, and takes a page of coaxing and waffle to get there.
We are practically half way through this book and there is no progress on the investigation. There’s nothing. This book is swollen with bullshit. It should really be half the length, but that would require an editor who doesn’t respect how this is all such pure gold.