A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Obsidian Butterfly’ chapter twenty two


I can’t tell if any time has passed. The scene break at the end of the last chapter would suggest that she went to sleep – Anita shut the door up so Olaf couldn’t rape her in the night, and then she unpacked her weapons, while furiously wanking over how amazing they were.

But now she’s come out of her room and it’s still night, and now Bernardo and Olaf are all dressed up and they’re going down to the club of the Master of the City.

So

has she slept through the whole day and come out at the perfect time to head out to the club, with a bottle full of bub, look mami I got the x if you into taking drugs, I’m into having sex, I ain’t into making love, so come give me a hug if you’re into getting rubbed…

sorry, I drifted away because the story just isn’t keeping my attention. Mainly because all the Clues are being ignored by each and every one of the characters to go and run down some stupid Aztec tangent that makes no sense and is pointless.

Or is it the same night? Because it was like three in the morning, which is when most nightclubs shut down for the night, so I don’t care if it’s a vampire club as it is not going to have any customers. Well, unless it’s a gig venue because they might stay up for a few days if there’s a music festival on. But there’s not going to be anyone at this place at this time of night.

Bernardo then says Anita is just not dressed right for the club. Not because the club has any dress code but that Anita has to be forced to dress up. You can’t be tuff if you enjoy wearing girly clothes!

It makes me sad that people were choosing to read this instead of watch Buffy.

oh my god someone send me fics where Buffy just stakes every stinking vampire in this series.

“You should change.”

I pushed to my feet from the couch.

You are paid to write. Why did people give you money to write that sentence?

“Why?”

[Bernardo] walked toward me. I caught glimpses of dark flesh above his white leather loafers and the hem of his pants, no socks.

Ew. Never trust a man who doesn’t wear socks. I think it’s disgusting. Slip on shoes are a sign of terrible things.

Bernardo says that Anita have to look good like they do, which is all leather and see through shirts and the shit people wear on TV which people think is darkity dark. Anita refuses, out of good taste, and says she’ll only do it if Edward tells her to. He then comes in and this instantly means ANITA YOU DISPLEASE ME WITH HOW YOU LOOK. The explanation is that if Anita just wears normal clothes they’ll instantly peg her as Anita Blake, Vampire Executioner.

Hang on. Wasn’t Anita’s appearance at Danse Maccaroni so notable that the press all went OMGANITABLAKE? Isn’t Anita super famous? Isn’t she super famous amongst vampires? How is she going to just go into a vampire club without the vampire bouncer going ‘oh shit, it’s the fuzz’?

“I’ll change into something more… festive,” I said.

Oh, something bright and colourful then?

I changed into the newest, blackest jeans I had. The Nikes would have to do because I hadn’t brought anything else. Except more Nikes. All my shirts were just different colours of one or two styles. If I find something comfy, I’ve learned to buy doubles if I really like something, and multiple colors if I really, really like a style. This means I am usually wearing last year’s style long after the fashion trend has moved on, but it’s not like I care.

I had a royal blue cotton tee with a scoop neck. Almost all the shirts I’d packed had a scoop neck. The blue was a little softer than the rest of the colours. I added a touch of eye shadow, enough eyeliner to be dramatic, enough mascara so that the eyeliner didn’t overwhelm my eyelashes, a hint of blush, and some kiss-ass red lipstick.

She then adds a black suit blazer. That sounds incredibly festive. Plus, with Anita’s bleach white skin, I bet she looks like a child with all that make-up on.

god she’s just so boring how is vampire hunting so boring?

Olaf says that Anita is ‘showing too much breast’. When Anita is wearing a scoop neck t-shirt.

I looked at his completely sheer black shirt. “I can see your nipples.”

His face darkened. I think he was actually blushing. “Bitch.”

“Yeah, sure, you and the horse you rode in on,” I said.

Not only is that a terrible retort – YOU ARE BOTH ADULTS JUST TELL HIM TO FUCK HIMSELF scratch that don’t he’s an incredibly dangerous rapist – but yeah, you’ve been told to not get Olaf angry, Anita. You’re scared of him raping you in your sleep. I don’t think purposefully antagonising him is going to make the situation better.

Edward tells Anita again to not tease Olaf, so she just says ‘oh, he started it’.

You’re older than me. You’re older than me. Why can’t you talk like an adult? Why can’t you be an adult? I can’t find this to be an enjoyable piece of escapist fiction when the characters run around behaving like I did when I was fourteen. I hate the person I was when I was fourteen. I hate the offensive, mean, cruel shit the fourteen year olds I went around with did. I hate reading about teenagers because I hated being a teenager. I hated every minute of it. I do not want to relive it. I do not want to read about a bunch of twenty year olds running around acting like children. Let alone woman-childs with firearms.

They then go out to the club. Woo.

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4 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Obsidian Butterfly’ chapter twenty two

  1. My favorite part is her talking about how she doesn’t care about fashion right in the midst of describing her clothing in exhaustive detail.

      • But it’s very important that we know that the swoosh on her Nikes matches her shirt. Still makes me laugh: for someone who isn’t a clothes hound, she really notices some ridiculous details.

        Then again, I mostly dress in black, so all I tend to notice is the varying shades of said black, so who am I to mock a Nike swoosh? *snort*

  2. “all the Clues are being ignored by each and every one of the characters to go and run down some stupid Aztec tangent that makes no sense and is pointless.”

    So, just like every other Anita Blake book?

    “Danse Maccaroni”

    I don’t know if that’s a typo, but if it is, don’t fix it.

    “Olaf says that Anita is ‘showing too much breast’. When Anita is wearing a scoop neck t-shirt.”

    Given the alleged size of Anita’s breasts, I’m surprised that she even *has* scoop neck t-shirts. Kinda hard to be taken seriously when you’re flashing you’re immense cleavage at everyone.

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