Anita complains for a whole page that Santa Fe is hot and in a desert.
Oh, and that she can’t just take up one of her guns and shoot Edward in the back of the head.
I have been staring at my copy of the book for five minutes trying to find something to say to that. Something new I can say to that. Some new way I can say that these characters are awful and I cannot support or like a character who thinks that murdering someone is a causal response to any situation. I don’t understand why none of the characters in the AB universe have any reverence for life.
Edward lets Donna unlock the car, and then Edward and Anita have a big old discussion about… well, it’s hard to tell. Here’s what I can gather:
- Edward predicted Anita was going to try and kill him, right here, right now.
- Anita accuses Edward of liking danger.
- This means that Edward wants to know which of them is better, so could never kill Anita in an ambush scenario.
- Which means that she forced him to walk in front in case he shot her in the back of the head.
- Edward says that he has fantasied about hunting Anita down, but that he needs her to solve this case.
- I have no idea why a bounty hunter is being asked to solve crimes.
- Edward would also miss Anita if he killed her.
- This was a terrible conversation.
- LKH writes THE WORST dialogue.
- And I have read Twilight.
They then talk about how on earth could Edward let this thing with Donna get too far. I’m thinking that Donna must be deaf to miss out on this wonderful conversation. Edward admits to letting himself get too caught up in the role, and it just happened. He then says he knew Anita would react badly, but then again, which of us wouldn’t react badly to find out that someone we knew was happy to commit rape by deception? Anita then muses on how come they’re so willing to kill each other but remain friends.
“Isn’t it enough to know it’s true? Do you have to explain it?” he asked as we wove through the cars towards Donna.
“Yes, I need to explain it.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I’m a girl,” I said.
STOP IT WHY IS THE BOOK SO FULL OF FUCKED UP GENDER POLITICS ALREADY
Donna has been watching this with a wary eye, so when Edward comes back, she makes a big show of hugging and kissing him, and how she’s sorry for embarrassing Anita. Anita says she doesn’t embarrass easily, which is a lie, and then says that she could never be intimidated by a woman like Donna. This is because Anita is gearing into a big unique and wonderful speech about how she and Edward could never date, and this means that they can both lavish praise on Anita.
“My, you are direct.”
“She’s direct, even for a man,” Edward said. “For a woman she’s like a battering ram.”
Women can be direct. Women can be indirect. Men can be direct. Men can be indirect. And yeah, Anita is not direct. Anita is rude and cruel and brash. I’m direct. My aunt is direct. And you know what? I don’t like being rude to people, and I would never behave like Anita. I do not enjoy hurting people. Anita does.
Then there’s a big fuss because Donna is going home to be with her children so now Anita and Edward can go solve crimes together.
Donna continued, face very serious.
Are you a child? Her face very serious.
“I’m trusting you with the third most important person in my life. Ted is right behind my kids for me. Don’t screw up the best thing I’ve had since my husband died.”
Who goes around talking like this? Have you ever met someone who talks like this? I sure as fuck haven’t.
Edward and Donna go off to say goodbye to each other, and Anita assumes he’s taking out a gun to shoot her down. How long is it going to be before this ridiculous plot line gets dropped? They talk about their truce, how Anita is afraid of Edward, and that he is a monster. They talk about his name, and how Anita doesn’t know his real name, and I don’t care. I really don’t care. The dialogue is so flat and boring and I don’t care whether Edward is Edward’s real name.
I didn’t have to see his eyes to know they were cold and distant as winter skies.
‘I didn’t have to see his eyes to know they were AS cold and distant as winter skies’.
The typos are just getting embarrassing now. That’s a really stupid mistake.
Anita then tries to make Edward tell Donna the truth, and to break it off with her, which is commendable. Edward refuses, because he’s too close to the children now.
….. gah i need to scrub my mind out that sounded too creepy it is too creepy why does edward have to be such a creepy fuck
Anita agrees that a woman like Donna could never handle the truth, as we have gone a page without shitting on Donna. She suggests they go off and solve the crime she was summoned for, so Edward decides to ask about her love life. She huffs, and says that both guys are on hold right now.
I really wanted to smash my head on things throughout this chapter. It was well bad.