A review of Anita Blake’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter thirty eight


Cherry came into the room. She’d slipped into a pair of jean shorts, and a white midriff tank top.

Just say denim. Or cut-off shorts. Why must you describe things in the most awkward way possible?

Her small breasts were pressed against the thin material. I was a little too well-endowed to ever dream of going without a bra, but small or not, in that top she needed a bra. I was a prude.

Not only is Anita insulting and shaming another woman for *gasp* fighting against the patriarchal doctrine that women must wear bras at all times, but she does it in a way to draw focus to the fact that she has the world’s biggest breasts.

She stalked into the room on those long legs, managing to look both slutty casual and unnaturally graceful.

Why must you insult Cherry and call her a slut? What’s the great evil that she’s done? Oh, yeah, that’s right. She’s another woman. That’s why she’s evil.

Cherry says the shower is now free. Anita asks for Zane, for some reason. He then comes into the room, and does not get casually insulted for being a man who made money from forcing people into sex work.

The ever-present nipple ring was the only thing on his pale, thin chest.

That’s because it’s a piercing, Anita. It has to be in, otherwise the hole would close up. Are you unaware of how piercing works?

Anita then asks why Zane doesn’t take it out. He gives the same reason I did, although I would add an addendum of ‘why is it any of your business what I do with my body’. He says that it would hurt too much to do again, and Anita is all ‘lol you’re a liar, you said you liked pain’. She then asks about the healing bullet wound in his arm, and he offers to let her touch it. Anita doesn’t want to touch it, and then castigates herself for being embarrassed about poking an open wound. This will make her controlled by Raina!

She forces herself to stroke the wound and says that it feels ‘soft, like baby’s skin’.

STOP IT. STOP THAT.

Cherry starts massaging Zane’s shoulders, and goes on about how amazing it is to have shapeshifter healing powers.

“The muscles can get tight when it’s healing,” Cherry said. “You get spasms around it, like the body heals too fast for the muscles to keep up.”

Um, that’s stupid. How does it make any sense for your body to heal too fast for your body to handle it? Does that mean shapeshifters are constantly having fits as their cells change and small injuries get healed? How does it make sense?

Nathanvile then nuzzles his head against Anita’s thigh.

Zane rolls onto his back next to Anita on the bed. How big is this bed? Surely this isn’t good for Nathanvile’s gaping open wounds. Cherry kneels next to the bed.

They all watched me like I was center of their world.

Um…. I’m getting serious vibes from this scene.

Anita ‘Jesus’ Blake, then.

I’d seen dogs in obedience trials watch their owners that way. In dogs it was a good thing.

That last sentence needs a comma. And, um, yeah. YOU RACIST BASTARD.

Zane stretches out and Anita makes a joke about rubbing his tummy. This is treated as being massively hilarious. It isn’t. Anita then waffles on about how she’s their Nimir-ra, and that werewolves don’t have a term for ‘a queen wolf’. Well, that’s because werewolf packs don’t have royalty, and because Ulfric applies to BOTH SEXES. Anita has to go and shower, so this prompts Zane to offer to lick her clean.

Nathanvile actually does lick her arm.

Anita scuttles off to go and get in her bath, which makes Nathanvile start his most blatant and disgusting act of manipulation yet. He apologises for sleeping with Mira. He doesn’t say anything about being sorry or angry that Anita got her killed, and Anita certainly doesn’t mention it. Anita says that she doesn’t care. Than Nathanvile starts and oh god, he’s disgusting.

“I thought you were going to be my mistress, my top. I thought for a long time that you understood the game. That you were telling me not to have sex with anyone. I was so good. I didn’t even touch myself.”

WHAT GAME? YOU ATROCIOUS DINGLEBERRY, YOU FORCE HER TO PAY FOR YOUR APARTMENT, TO PAY FOR YOUR BILLS, TO FINANCE YOUR LIFESTYLE, AND SHE DOESN’T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO SAY NO TO YOU! YOU ARE MANIPULATING A WOMAN WHO IS NOT EMOTIONALLY DEVELOPED SO YOU CAN HAVE A LAZY LIFE OF LUXURY. YOU LIAR! YOU LIAR! SHE TOLD YOU SHE WASN’T INTERESTED IN YOU, AND YOU IGNORED IT! YOU DISGUSTING STAIN OF A HUMAN BEING. YOU ARE PLAYING HER, JUST LIKE JC PLAYED HER! I MAY HATE ANITA, BUT I DON’T WANT HER TO BE ABUSED AND MANIPULATED BY MEN!

Anita says that she is not playing, even after Nathanvile says how they could start with vanilla sex and work up from there. Anita doesn’t know what the term ‘vanilla sex’ is, so he is deliberately manipulating and forcing her into this situation through her lack of sexual experience. And it’s not over! It’s not over!

“I know that now. It was this trip that I realized that you didn’t know we were playing a game. You aren’t teasing me. You don’t think about me at all.”

You CANNOT BE A WILLING PARTICIPANT IN A GAME IF YOU DO NOT KNOW YOU ARE PLAYING IT! CONSENT, NATHANIEL. CONSENT IS IMPORTANT. YOU HAVE MANIPULATED AND PLAYED ANITA LIKE SHE’S A EMOTIONALLY STUNTED VIOLIN WITH A TASTE FOR ADOLESCENT BOYS! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE THE VILEST, MOST CONNIVING CHARACTER I HAVE EVER READ ABOUT! YOU GIVE CHRISTIAN GREY A RUN FOR HIS MONEY.

We then have a repeat of the top/bottom conversation from chapter fourteen, as LKH has forgotten that Anita has already been told this information.

Nathanvile then says he wishes Anita was like Gabriel. Yeah, bring up the guy who tried to rape and murder her. What is wrong with him? Anita then says they can be friends, and Nathanvile freaks at the idea of that. Cherry then explains that Nathanvile is ‘broken’ because all people who are into submission are ‘broken’ and emotionally damaged people.

Anita declares it to be a hallmark moment and that they are all one big happy family. Nathanvile bursts into tears because Anita won’t sleep with him.

Oh, I think I’m going to go off and explode in a corner.

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9 thoughts on “A review of Anita Blake’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter thirty eight

  1. Holy shit, Nathaniel is so disgusting that I don’t even feel bad anymore for him for Anita deciding to sleep with him even when she claims he can’t consent. THAT IS WHAT THIS SERIES HAS DONE TO ME.

    • He clearly can consent. He had sex with Mira in this book, and he was willing to pursue a sexual relationship with Anita. He is just such a manipulative little weasel. I want to end him with a pitchfork.

      • I cannot believe that when I was in high school I bought everything Anita said about him at face value dgkskgsksr

      • Don’t beat yourself up about it – you were a teenager. We all think stupid things when we’re a teenager, and we haven’t had as many life experiences.

  2. Wow, Anita really is a moron. I mean, how hard can it be to figure out what ‘vanilla sex’ means. I think my theory that JC is the most boring lover ever has been confirmed.

  3. I just thought of something. Ulfric applies to both male and female. Then, you have the Lupa, which is the Ulfric’s mate. Um… Lupa seems to be a feminine term so what if a female Ulfric has a male mate? Is he still called Lupa? Lupo?

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