Posting from my phone today, so there may be a few autocorrecting errors.
Richard is driving Anita to the diner where she’s going to meet with Niley. He is playing with a rubber band because Symbolism. He is very angry, because that is his new characterisation, and there’s worry he might shift and hulk out.
Um, so why didn’t Anita bring her massive bodyguard with her then? You know, all those people WHO AREN’T WEREWOLVES. Eugh.
Shang-Da, he of the stupidest name ever, is actually with them and makes Richard wear sunglasses incase he gets so angry his eyes change. Surely, people in this universe would be savvy to this by now? But no, they’re all blind idiots.
The three of them walk into a fifties style diner, full of tourists and families with young children. Anita and Shang-Da are packing though, so if any child gets noisy they’ll be guaranteed a bullet in the head.
They head over to Niley and his possee.
“Ms Blake, so good of you to come.” [Niley] didn’t stand for me, which made me wonder what was in his lap. A sawed-off shotgun, maybe.
Yeah, because he managed to get that in unnoticed. Anita, he’s a ‘legitimate businessman’. He wouldn’t get his hands dirty by bringing in a weapon.
Or maybe he didn’t consider me a lady.
Maybe he knows YOU ARE A HORRENDOUS HELL BEAST THAT FARTS HERRING.
Anyway, Niley is backed up by a clairvoyant called Howard, who refuses to shake hands otherwise he’ll be overwhelmed by the other person’s thoughts. I can understand not wanting Anita’s thoughts in your head, but I thought clairvoyants only dealt with the spirits of the dead? I think calling him a psychic would have worked better in this situation.
Niley demands to search them for listening devices. Sweetheart, Anita’s too stupid to be able to take her own bra off. She isn’t taping this.
Richard and Shang-da go off with Niley to get searched. Anita is left with Howard, who talks about how powerful and amazing she is. He feels her cross and knows how she got it from her grandma. Grandma gave it to her as a big ol’ purity ring to wear around her neck. Lovely.
Anita then turns her attention to Linus, who turns out to be the sorcerer that summoned the demon. He’s sexually androgynous, over seven feet tall, and weighs over three hundred pounds. Anita then directly accuses him of being a eunuch, which is utterly failtastic. Linus is indeed a eunuch, having sacrificed his ‘manhood” when he became a sorcerer. Here’s the problem; castrated men only become sexually androgynous if they are castrated before puberty. That’s because they haven’t had the effects of testosterone on their bodies. Linus castrated himself when he was an adult, which also explains how he got to be so tall.
LKH, you are a BIOLOGY GRADUATE. How come you don’t understand how the human body works?
Anita is then incredibly insulting.
“What flavor are you, sociopath, psychopath, or schizophrenic?”
MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE NOT ‘FLAVORS’. THEY ARE FUCKING ILLNESSES. THEY FUCK YOU UP. THEY ARE NOT EVIL OR MAGICAL, YOU STUPID IGNORANT LITTLE FLECK OF SMEGMA.
Anita goes on and on about how mental illnesses make you weak and turn evil. Bitch, I will punch you in the uterus, so help me god. The guys then come back and Niley demands that Linus search her for magical items.
“Like what? The holy hand grenade?”
They then decide to have a break to eat. I don’t know why, other than for Hamilton to fap about her self insert.
Richard looked shocked. “How can you eat?”
“You either learn to eat in the middle of disaster and gore, or you get another day job, Richard.”
“Very practical, Ms. Blake,” Niley said.
May I remind you all that Richard ate someone. And now he’s getting schooled on how to eat pancakes in a TUFF way.
Anita and Niley then exchange a few stupid lines about being good guys and bad guys respectively, because Anita has the moral compass of a small child. And then they decide it’s time for her to get searched.
I only had one question. “Which bathroom are we going to use?”
That is a really stupid cliffhanger.