A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter thirty one


I have a limited access to the internet today so I can post a new chapter!

Anita, Richard and Shang-Da are on a biologist hunt – they’re not scared.

We had until dark to get out of town, and since we really weren’t getting out of town, we might as well continue with our original plans.

Grrrrrrr.

Honestly, I hate it when authors feel the need to talk down to their audience. I’m not stupid – far from it, actually, little Ms I-Have-A-Biology-Degree. But anyway, what’s really important is talking about how HAWT Richard is. Again. When it has no relevance on his character or what is happening. But oh, we have to go on about how stooooopid Shang-Da is because he’s dressed up in a white formal shirt and dress shoes. Hey look, the token Chinese character is the stupid one! I was starting to miss the casual racism, it’s slightly less offensive than the constant barrage of everything else in this book.

Richard then hears a woman crying and they all run off and isn’t it wonderful, they’re skipping around together. This is all about POWER because a mere tiny human shouldn’t be able to keep up with a werewolf although wolves don’t run that fast, and over long distances a human probably could outrun them. They run all the way to a clearing and find a woman crouched at the base of a tree, sobbing her heart out.

She had brunette hair so dark it could have passed for black, cut very short.

HOW HAS LKH SEEN THROUGH TIME TO DESCRIBE ME?

This is Carrie Onslow, another troll biologist. Richard hugs her and Anita is instantly OMG JEALOUS THEY HAVE DATED although that is normal behaviour when a friend is distressed. She looks at her and just thinks ‘oh, she’s so much trouble you can tell’ and whines more about how Richard isn’t monogamous.

Stop your double standard right there. You’re just complaining because you have to share your toy, not because you actually care about his feelings.

Anyway, Carrie is upset because they’ve found the mutilated body of a woman and the police are using this as evidence that the trolls are killing people. She’s examined the bite marks on the body and determined that a primate made the marks. Although if she’s a biologist who is an expert on trolls she ought to be able to tell for definite whether the bites are troll bites or not, seeing as that is HER JOB, but I guess Ms I-Have-A-Biology-Degree-I-Know-Totes-All is such an expert that she knows that bites are utterly undistinguishable from one species to another.

Except they’re not. Saying ‘primate jaw structure’ is like saying ‘all rocks are the same’. A human jaw and the jaw of an orang-utan are similar in structure, but would not be mistaken for each other unless you are a colossal idiot. Besides, why would a troll kill by biting? That’s a very inefficient way to kill something you’re not going to eat. Wouldn’t they just club it on the head?

Anita thinks it might be ghouls, or her BS ideas of what ghouls are that’s quite offensive to the folklore of the Middle East. Hey I can’t help but notice that the European monsters are smart and civilised, while those originating from non-European mythologies are cowards without brains who kill indiscriminately.

Achievement unlocked – CASUAL RACISM.

Carrie says that the state police want Anita to look in on the body, which is smart if they’re being open-minded and not the idiots that Hamilton wants them to be for the purpose of her narrative.

Anita volunteers to go and Richard decides ‘I has balls and wants to use them in my traditional gender role’ and tries to forbid her going without a man by her side. Anita’s Hannah side pops out and she reasons that the werewolves ought to stay away from the crime scene and avoid accusations that the werewolves did this. Richard doesn’t hear this and goes straight to ‘POLICE TRY TO BLAME US FOR EVERYTHING BECAUSE I AM AN ILL-THOUGHT OUT METAPHOR FOR OPPRESSION AGAINST MINORITIES’ and yells at her for being childish. Well, yes, but she’s not being childish right now. She was earlier when her inside emotions switch went to jealous, but now she’s trying to avoid getting you arrested on a murder charge.

But anyway he says sorry instantly because when you deal with Anita Blake you learn to say sorry quickly. She accepts it and tries to walk off. Richard says ‘nope, proscribed gender roles’ and palms off his crying friend to a man she’s never met before. Anita walks off.

The last paragraph is all Anita whining about how she can’t have Richard to herself unless she gives up JC and isn’t this unfair? Waa waa waa, go crying somewhere else lady. If your major problem in life is that two attractive men both want to sleep with you, then it is not a problem. They have both said they want to sleep with you and are cool with this arrangement. It is literally a perfect arrangement, and all you can do is complain about having to share your toys. Grow up.

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