A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter twenty eight


Anita wakes up and finds that she has magically teleported all the way across the cabin…site as she’s now in Richard’s cabin. Oookay. Anyway, she is EMBARRASSED because omg she had sechs and didn’t she spend the whole last book going on about how she knew all about sex and was totally liberated and was going to run around bringing the ‘sechs’ with her wherever she went.

Or maybe that’s the dying sliver of her conscience pointing out all the problems with what happened in the last chapter.

I’d had enough moral problems with premarital sex with the undead. My one comfort had been that I was monogamous. Now I didn’t even have that. Whoredom had finally arrived just as my Grandmother Blake had always warned.

Bullshit.

Anita’s celibacy was always presented as a choice she had made on her on, based on her previous bad experience and her own religious faith. But no, we can’t have her making a single interesting choice on her own! She goes on about how weird it is and how she isn’t used to it, and no where mentions that she had sex with Nathaniel that one time.

She strokes his arms and shoulders until Richard wakes up. He notes that she appears tense, and she asks that they cuddle for a bit.

He was a little tall for spooning

No, he isn’t. He is literally just about eight or nine inches taller than you. Unless he’s as tall as a giraffe, he is not too tall to spoon.

Anita notes that his skin is very hot, and Richard says that his temperature will keep on rising until the full moon tomorrow. They giggle and kiss and they seem to be getting down for more ‘sechs’, but he refuses to as his control will be difficult. This makes Anita MAD. Well, not mad. Just bitchy about not getting her head ripped off.

Minutes before, I’d been worried that we’d given in to our lust, and now I was sad that we couldn’t do it again. Trust me to be logical about my men.

God forbid a man say ‘no’ to sex. God forbid he says ‘we can’t have sex otherwise I MIGHT KILL YOU’.

Anyway, they both agree the ‘sechs’ was good and they calmly decide that Anita will date both JC and Richard. Richard then takes centre stage in a long section where he bewails how he’s such a monster and can’t go out with human women other than Anita for fear of hurting them.

“You don’t understand, Anita. Strength is strength. We can pick up small cars and throw them. If you don’t realize your own strength, you can’t control it.”

Hey, Richard

When you open a door, do you;

a; operate the handle and open the door without problems,

b; crush the handle beyond all use, break down the door, and run through a wall, or

c; find the problem incomprehensible so scream at the door that you are a monster.

Think carefully as only one of them is the right answer.

Look, this ‘oh I don’t realise my own strength’ is utter guff pulled out of Anita’s tiny ass. Richard has to know the extent of his own strength, otherwise he would spend all his time breaking and smashing things. If he was incapable of controlling his strength, he would be unable to function in his daily life. I don’t think that if he got angry when he was teaching that he would suddenly lash out and destroy the classroom. Look, take Superman. Superman has immense strength, but is always in perfect control of it. If Superman can have sex safely with Lois Lane (and he can), then Richard has no excuse.

Richard, after going on about how amazingly special Anita is, then tries to make the deal that they are both allowed to date other people, and he will continue to date other werewolves. Anita is not as accepting of this as Richard was with her suggestion. She seems utterly horrified that he wants other women.

“I’m just saying that if you’re not monogamous to me, then why should I be monogamous to you?”

“No reason, I guess. Except… I thought we loved each other.”

… Just ‘Oh how can you possibly find other women attractive? I thought I was the centre of everybody’s universe!’. Don’t pull out the love card, Anita. That is a rather excellent attempt at emotional blackmail; however, it’s not going to work. You’re not going to deny him dating other people based on the special powers of your wuv. Your powers of emotional manipulation are weak.

Richard says that he loves her enough to give up anyone else, but eh, what can he do? He’s got trolls to study. Anita says she has to come with him to find out what Frank Niley is up to.

[Richard] crushed me against him, like he’d crawl in through my mouth and pull me around him.

Ew. That’s a terrible kiss. You’re not supposed to eat her face.

“We are in love,” I said.

I have never stood around and shouted that ‘we are in love’ because I do not live in a musical.

Richard then reveals talking to JC about the wuv, and JC gave a grand speech about how amazing Anita is and how her love makes everything immediately better. He also essentially asked permission to have sex with Anita which…. um, that’s a mixed bag of things. Mostly bad. Anyway, JC is cool with it all.

Anita finally accepts that Richard will be sleeping with other women but whines about it. After all, she’s the only one who gets what she wants around these parts.

And I was left naked on his bed with everything I’d ever wanted offered to me on a silver platter. So why was I sitting there, hugging my knees to my chest and fighting not to cry?

I haven’t got a fucking clue.

It might be that you raped someone while simultaneously being raped.

Can you believe that there is actually a book in this world where an act of double rape took place?

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12 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter twenty eight

  1. You know, I can actually understand Richard’s ‘I don’t want to have sex with you because the full moon makes it hard to control myself, and if I let go during sex, I might smush you or something’. However, I have an intense hate for ‘we hated each other! But our mutual rape made us realise that we really are in love!’ No.

    Sex does not equal love. Physical attraction does not equal love. Mystical bonds of POWER do not equal love. And I would be wary of dating a man who was a leader in a culture that supported a rape chase ritual. And who could only leave his job as wolf pack leader by getting his throat ripped out. There are many reasons for them not to date. Many, many reasons. And by this point they are both abhorrent characters with very few redeeming traits.

    I want to read about Judith becoming a really awesome mentor figure to Cherry. Or Nathaniel getting some serious therapy. Or Sylvie and Gwen having super cute romantic evenings or bitching about what a crappy leader Richard is. Or Melanie adopting a load of snakes who had been kept in inappropriate habitats at pet shops, and ‘accidentally’ releasing them into Anita’s room whenever she stays over. Or any other character who hasn’t been on screen long enough to suffer.

    • Richard not wanting to loose control I do understand. But the stuff about not knowing his own strength is crap. If he didn’t, his life would be a cavalcade of unpassable door knobs.

      I love your alternative character stories! I declare them all true and wonderful.

      • I now have a little scene in my head of a werewolf staring at the doorknob in his hand and then shrugging and smashing through the door. And then insurance companies demand to know whether someone is a therianthrope before they take out home insurance, because of all they have to replace. And werewolves walking straight through revolving doors instead of round in a little semicircle like a normal person. I am now going to come up with all the ways ‘I don’t know my own strength’ would realistically affect a therianthrope’s life.

  2. -They crush all hairbrushes they try to use so they have perpetually messy hair.
    -They can’t get dressed. They ripped their clothes, or they tear off buttons.
    -The above door smashing
    -They crush all eating utensils.
    -They put their hand through the keyboard instead of typing
    -They put their hand through the window instead of opening it
    -They rip letters that they try to open
    -They smush pens they try to write with
    -They crush the steering wheel or pedals of cars
    -They crush loved ones that they try to hug
    -They break people’s hands during hand shakes
    -They accidentally break or deform important parts during DIY projects
    -They can’t put plasters on their kid’s injuries because they rip them instead of opening them
    -They would rip taps and showers out of the wall when they tried to wash

    Any one of these would prove a much more real downside to being a werewolf than ‘oh noes, maybe I can’t have sexytimes with my girlfriend three days out of the month’. And I have just put more thought into superstrength than LKH.

    • I can’t stop laughing at your image of the sad werewolf, thinking about his insurance premiums when he just wants to go to the bathroom. “I just have to shit, damn it!”

      You know, if the group around Anita understood how much of a monster she is, and if she would embrace this all without trying to justify or moralize it, these books wouldn’t suck as badly. I mean, yes, she’d be just as reprehensible, but at least she’d know it. And then we’d be reading about an actual monster of a human being, instead of someone who apparently doesn’t understand the intricacies of intimacy.

      • Oh, and the Superman bit? Totally reminded me of that conversation from….err, I don’t remember where, but it was a discussion about his sperm being so amazingly strong, they’d punch through any woman’s uterus. Except Wonder Woman’s.

        I think it may have been the Clerks animated show.

      • Sokudoningyou
        There’s an essay along those lines called “woman of Kleenex, man of steel” (by Larry Niven, IIRC)

  3. There are probably quite a few books in the world in which a multiple rape takes place. It’s a not-uncommon kink (as a fantasy/rp thing), but also any book that realistically looks at antebellum U.S. slavery… yeah. It happened.

    I have zero problems with the mere fact of people writing about rape and mutual rape, and etc. My problem comes when people write justifying it and wrapping it in fluffy clouds of twu wuv. And/or pretending it’s not actually rape, which is what LKH does all the time.

    • When I said ‘double rape’ I did not mean multiple rape. I meant an act where both people involved are raping each other.

      Pretending it’s not rape is… well, I wish I could say it was my single biggest problem with LKH’s writing. It’s just my biggest problem with the past few books.

  4. 8-9 inches tall– GO FUCK A CACTUS, LKH, HE IS THE PERFECT SPOONING HEIGHT FOR YOU. He can actually wrap around you a bit and not just press against your back. If you want to be the big spoon it’ll be a bit different, but YOU CAN ALSO BE THE BIG SPOON OF A MUCH TALLER GUY. Deal with it.

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