A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter twenty seven


I am not looking forward to today’s chapter. It is long and is going to have many disgusting things wrong with it. But if I want to review the rest of the series, I just have to get used to dealing with long and disgusting things. (That does not include JC’s wiener, as it is certainly not long.) (ZING)

Anita is running and is being chased by a lot of werewolves who ardently wish to rape her. The werewolf ghosts say that Richard will be the one to save her, but Anita dismisses it as Richard is a bog old softie with a conscience.

I would probably survive being raped. I wasn’t at all sure I’d survive Richard’s death.

That’s right; the more serious issue at hand is that Anita might loose her man. Not that she might be bodily torn apart by werewolves or might face serious physical harm from the possible gang rape. Death of the man is more serious.

Of course, having never been raped, maybe I was jumping to conclusions.

I just want her to shut up and think about getting away.

She leaps over a log, and suddenly is surrounded by the sound of scrabbling claws. Oh, when did mountain lions join the chase? Because wolves don’t have true claws in the sense that LKH means. They have what are essentially large nails; nails are round in shape, while claws come to a point. You’d think a biologist would know the difference.

But nope, they’re wolves. This means that those wolves are out of the competition as they’ve become animals. I want to know when Anita became an expert in werewolf lore without me, the reader, knowing. Anita sort of stands around on a log watching as the wolves fight, and then they’re all beaten back by a man waving a six foot tree around. He calls out for her to come out, ‘little one’, which comes off as a too affected homage to Red Riding Hood. Anita creeps away, sneaks about the log, and shoves her knife into his stomach. He falls away, so she stares at the scattered bodies for a while.

One man’s skull was smashed open, and thicker things than blood licked onto the ground.

Licked?

LICKED?

That word makes no sense here! Look, in terms of writing style, I enjoy writers using unusual words and applying them to different contexts. But here, ‘licked’ makes no fucking sense. You could say that ‘that the ocean licked the very edge of the northen sky’, but brains draining out of a man’s skull do not ‘lick’ the ground.

Anita tries to run off but is suddenly jumped on by Roland. She slashes him, but he punches her out. I would normally approve of this, but we’re about to go into ‘violent attempted rape’ and no no no i don’t wish that on anyone.

He was having trouble getting my jeans over my Nikes, because the jeans won’t go over my Nikes.

Don’t make me do this. Don’t make me nitpick the rapist’s method. All I’m going to say is that LKH knows fuck all about rape, because I don’t think a rapist would be deterred by ‘oh no, I can only get her jeans off until her ankles, leaving her genitalia entirely free for me to access!’. Or, seeing as he’s a werewolf with superhuman strength, he could just rip them off entirely.

Anita tells him to take off her shoes. He questions why she’s helping him (as this is possibly the one part that seems semi-realistic) and she answers that she doesn’t want to be hit again. Simple words and motivations make a powerful reading experience. Having Anita make jokes about how ‘romantic’ this all is, betting whether Roland is wearing underwear, and how he can’t be bothered to fully take his jeans off does not strike me as being realistic. It cheapens the moment. To have Anita make jokes about it all and not take it seriously makes me think that it’s not serious.

Roland gets tackled by Zane and Nathaniel, and they help Anita get away. Zane and Nathaniel say they will die to protect her, and Anita considers just getting it over with and having sex with one of them.

Fucking Nathaniel would be like child molesting. I wouldn’t do it.

….. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. YOU HAVING TO HAVE SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE MAN IS NOTHING LIKE CHILD MOLESTATION. FUCK YOUR OFFENSIVE FUCKING METAPHORS.

Just… ah, you fucking offensive little moron. How dare you. How dare you.

Jason then comes into the clearing where Anita is being a fucking offensive bitch and just stares at her. She forgets that he may try to rape her, and tries making her getaway plan with him. She thinks they can run away to the Blue Moon cabins, which I would have been on board with, until Jason points out that there are tourists there. Anita dismisses this, but I want to talk about it. I want to talk about how she can’t even be bothered to think about the safety of the tourists there. The wolves are violent, and going to attack everything in the way of getting to Anita. So, essentially, Anita considers her safety to be worth more than the lives of the innocent human tourists in the cabins.

Nope. Can’t support that. Anita is supposed to save people from monsters, not willingly get them devoured alive.

Anyway, Anita is not going anywhere. She decides to stay in the clearing and get into soul wrenching arguments with her leopards about who is going and who is staying with her. Jason is staying, on Richard’s orders. Barring Zane, the gang all go to the cabins, because fuck other people and keeping them safe. They get inside, the vampires start holding doors and windows shut, and BAM. The cabin is struck by like, all the werewolves at once.

Aside: if one of the people staying in the cabin next door looks out the window (and seeing as this is a world where sound exists, they are going to know something’s up), they will see a horde of angry naked men trying to break into a cabin. You imagine that they would phone the police immediately.

Jason reveals that he was sent to be Anita’s safe fuck option if any of the wolves got close to her. Anita tells him what will really happen by getting a gun out. I have to say, despite myself, that I feel unexpectedly sorry for Jason in this situation; he’s got magic compelling him to rape her, an order from a master werewolf, and knows that if he does rape his friend to save her, he will be murdered by his vampire master. It’s a fucked up situation on all fronts.

The wolves break into fights outside the cabin and start turning into animals. Everyone watches over the door and windows, apart from Damian who refuses for some reason. He is persuaded to help by Anita kissing him and shoving her gun into his groin. He responds by trying to feed on her. She begs him to fuck her, and realises that she’s being possessed again and orders him away from her.

Anita starts another bout of flailing about on the floor.

I heard someone crawling towards me. I raised my head to find Nathaniel staring at me with lilac eyes.

He doesn’t have lilac eyes. There is no chance of any human ever having lilac eyes.

Nathaniel, it seems, is taking advantage of Anita’s possession to push his own suit because he’s a snivelling little rat bastard. Anita is unable to tell him to go away, and I feel a sudden surge of sorrow for her. She can’t talk or move, and there’s no way she can tell Nathaniel to not be a creepy fucker.

There’s a knock at the door. Asher asks ‘Who is it?’ as if they’re not being bombarded with spell-driven rapists with super human strength. It’s Richard, who is also full of the rape spell but let’s ignore that. He and Shang-Da are let in. Richard goes over to Anita and they begin the make outs. They make out a lot, before Richard does the fucking courteous thing and asks, ‘oh, wait, are you still possessed? Say you’re okay with me fucking you in front of a room of people as the author hasn’t said that all those people here have left the room but wants a possessed woman to have sex with a man who is being driven by a raping spell, making this bad all round’.

Anita seems to say yes, but bursts into tears. They make out some more, before Richard finally demands that everyone leave.

“If you take her like this, it will be very like rape,” Asher said.

“I’m going to try very hard for it not to be,” Richard said.

Asher gave a small sound that might have been a laugh.

Yeah, how can I count the wrong here.

On both sides, this is rape. Anita is possessed by a ghost making her crave sex. Richard’s mind is being controlled by a spell that is making him go into a crazy rape-rage. There is no way this is consensual and non-problematic. This is an assault by both parties on each other. This is seriously fucked up.

Anyway, they begin the ‘sex’. Because it isn’t sex. It’s rape. I’m not going to call it anything else. Although there is which I feel needs bringing up:

“You’re wet,” he said.

I opened my eyes and stared down at him. “I know.” My voice sounded breathy.

“Raina was like that.”

Just… LKH, you are aware how sex works, right? What should happen? Because it doesn’t sound like it.

And then:

He was too tall for missionary position. I’d have suffocated against his chest.

Bullshit. Unless Richard is deliberately aiming to smother her, there is no way that Anita (A NORMAL SIZED HUMAN BEING) should suffocate against Richard’s chest. Again, this sounds like LKH knows nothing about sex. Or is an alien from the spoon world.

They have the Totes Amazing ‘Sechs’, and oh noes Richard starts growing the claws that wolves do not have. Oh no he’s turning into a wolf argh isn’t that awful wouldn’t it be terrible if he ripped her head off

anyway, Anita solves it by going on top and they have fantastic ‘sex’ as if awkward sex with emotional realness didn’t exist, oh no, porn ‘sex’ with much rolling around and super massive orgasms

I did not like this chapter. I did not like it at all.

9 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter twenty seven

  1. I’d rather be raped than my husband be murdered, but that’s really not a situation that’s ever going to come up. That LKH has written this situation, and not explicitly as “this is pure rape fantasy” but rather as “this is okay because reasons”, is disturbing to me. But it’s always the way in her books: there can never ever ever be fully informed consent by all parties involved, not ever, not once.

    LKH has had sex at least once, as she has a daughter. Though the more of her sex scenes I read, the more I’m tempted to believe said daughter was conceived by turkey baster. Because… yeah. Wet vulvas are not too terribly uncommon.

    Anita saying “I know” in response to that amuses me, though. “I know. Tell me more about me. I won’t give one thing in return, I’ll just lie here and scream, but because I’m wet, that’s more than enough for you. Compliment me again.”

    • Anita is just so passive in the scene, apart from when she switches to being on top. For a ‘consensual sex scene’ she just lies there and begs him to fuck her. It’s just not very sexy. She doesn’t do anything, or contribute anything. Richard might as well be on his own.

      I hear turkey baster babies are very common on the spoon world.

  2. Hey, at least you made it through. The worst is behind you, right?

    ….oh, wait. I forgot how this series continues after Obsidian Butterfly.

    Nevermind.

    Honestly, I felt bad for Jason too. Yes, he’s a complete dick at times, but having to potentially be torn apart for saving his master’s girlfriend from being…potentially torn apart AND raped is just shitty.

  3. Ah yes, the whole Freyja rape scene thing. I’ve heard it talked about a lot but I never read it myself. I just straight-out skipped it when I was reading the series in high school and then forgot that it had ever even happened until I read mentions of it on lashouts years later. I think that was a good move on my part.

    “He was having trouble getting my jeans over my Nikes, because the jeans won’t go over my Nikes.” wow, LKH just made me laugh during an attempted rape scene. I don’t know how to feel about this.”

    “Fucking Nathaniel would be like child molesting. I wouldn’t do it.” YEAH HON JUST YOU WAIT A FEW BOOKS

    I never get over his stupid lilac eyes. People can have violet eyes, yes, I have a character who does (it’s a mutant variety of blue, same as grey eyes are, that runs in his dad’s side of the family, and I always worry it comes off as terribly Stu-ish) but it’s not as amazing-looking as it sounds at all…but LILAC? OH COME THE HELL ON and it can’t even be “justified” by his being a wereleopard because LEOPARDS DON’T HAVE LILAC EYES EITHER

    • Nothing has lilac eyes. It’s like… people try and tell me that the early books are good, but nope. If you’re selling me lilac eyes in a ‘realistic’ world, then no, there is nothing good about this.

      I am not looking forward to the teenage boy stuff. Not a good issue to bring up with me.

  4. I still stand by Nate wearing contacts for his eyes. Saw that on Lashouts and refuse to accept anything else as canon.

    Also, how tall is Richard? Because I don’t think he can smother someone who is 5’3 unless he’s like 7-8′ tall. Even if he’s 6’3 that’s still not smother-size. Approaching awkward for man-on-top maybe, but not… Oh whatever, I give up.

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