A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter eighteen


Anita and Jason arrive at the ‘lupanar’ and it’s full of bodies ahhhh and there are rotting vampires ahhhh. Anita is SAD – and I always have to Hulk capitalise her emotions, as they are all Hulk emotions – because she isn’t allowed to kill Colin.

Damian came gliding through the trees. He was dressed in the standard uniform of black leather pants so tight you knew that nothing else was under them but vampire. But he was wearing a black silk T-shirt with a scooped neck. It looked almost like a woman’s shirt. His shoulder-length hair helped the illusion of femininity, but the chest and shoulders that peeked out of the shirt ruined the effect; masculine, definitely masculine.

I get it LKH. Femininity is disgusting and abhorrent. It is only acceptable to the super masculine. That is the best validation women can have.

Jason is wearing the same outfit, down to knee high boots, and Anita laughs how they look like backup singers for a capitalised Gothic band. Everyone is scared because Colin is a hag and is making everyone feel fear. Understanding the concept that Colin causes fear takes a while for everyone to understand.

They then come to the lupanar, which they had already done, and there’s ooooh a big tree and ahhh a skeleton. It is all very scary. There is a vampire sat on a bench.

His lips were full, with an upper lip that was set in a perfect bow, very feminine.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

‘The Cupid’s bow or tubercle is a facial feature where the double curve of a human upper lip is said to resemble the bow of Cupid, the Roman god of erotic love. The peaks of the bow coincide with the philtral columns giving a prominent bow appearance to the lip.’

It is not an elusively female trait.

TPhoto_00081

I have a Cupid’s Bow. However –

So does Cumberbatch. You’d be amazed how a lip shape cannot be defined by simplistic gender lines.

Anyway, there’s something wrong with the vampire ahhh and now Verne’s pack are practising human sacrifice. Because hicks, I guess. Anyway, the vampires they’re meeting are arriving and Richard and Anita hole hands arghhhhh oh my god.

Yeah, you might be able to tell my patience is wearing thin with this book.

One of them, who is blond with hair ‘short, all over’ who demands to see Anita’s tits. They have a human with them, a Native American woman, who is immediately dismissed for not being as ethic or as beautiful as Anita. Using POWER, Asher has his shirt ripped off by someone, presumably Colin. Colin is now identified as the blond vampire, and now I don’t like him so much. Especially as he continues to demand to see Anita’s tits, which sounds nothing like the guy they’ve been dealing with until this point. Anita then realises the woman with him has all the POWER, and is just like her.

But not as good, of course.

Anita gives in and says yes to his insane demand, which translates in Anita-speak as ‘we’re getting our butts kicked because the werewolves aren’t helping!’ and I only just realised that Verne and his pack are with her. She complains about how his werewolves and the local vampires aren’t dressed up, not like her gang!

Colin flashes POWER and Anita’s cross lights up and all the vampires are sacred but him. Ahhh.

Then a vampire called Barnaby (stop naming vampires after my friends.) goes into rot-mode and comes to Anita to tear away her cross. Ahhh. He is compared to magical deodorant. Anita thinks that this is all a matter of wills (no shit) and hopes he doesn’t press it into her skin and burn her. Even though it is sitting on her skin already, so if it was going to burn her, it would already be burning her. The rotting vampire slides his hands between Anita’s breasts, breaks the chain of the cross, and swings it away. Colin then says that Jason is afraid of rotting vampires, so Barnaby should ‘play’ with him. Anita forbids this.

Guess someone learnt that letting friends get raped is a bad thing. Finally.

“Your word?” Colin said. “You’re a modern American. Your word means nothing.”

Okay, I thought that was clever.

Anyway, they are both pushing each other to see who will break the truce first and everyone talks about ‘tasting the truth of their words’ as everyone in this book talks in the exact same way. Colin demands that Verne ‘strip the young one of his protectors’. Verne is carrying a basket, so Anita points her gun at him.

Reading this book is like trying to read through treacle. Nothing is happening.

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6 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Blue Moon’ chapter eighteen

  1. I believe that Colin told one of his more annoying minions to go to the Lupanar and pose as him. You cannot convince me differently.

    I am slightly disturbed by the way women in this series are mocked for being feminine while the men are praised for it. I’m not quite sure what that says about LKH. Also, I’m tempted to continue my Colin fanfic.

  2. ….hmm, Benedict Cupid’s Bow.

    Buh. Yeah. I admit, I snickered at that bit about Americans and keeping our word, because gods know our government likes to play merry hell with it.

    Just think; the “best” of this book is yet to come.

  3. Reading this chapter, I half expected everyone to laugh themselves to death when they saw how ridiculously Anita and Co. were dressed.

    Oh, yeah and in this chapter LKH suddenly remembers that her vampires can determine if someone is telling the truth again. Consistency!

    • Seriously, why do all the supernaturals (or whatever the term is) dress so horribly? Why don’t any of them dress like normal people? Because it’s not sexy enough? Or is it because LKH is trapped in the mindset of a teenager from the 1980s? Or both?

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