So: Anita has gone skipping out to hike through the woods in thigh-high boots and a leather mini-skirt. On top of that, she’s wearing a massive leather jacket to hide the Uzi and a massive leather bag she’s carrying. The bag has a lighter and a can of hair spray, because Anita is a teenage girl who frequents the Paddock. (A park near college in my hometown).
It’s the middle of summer and Anita is wearing full leather. She pauses to complain about the heat. I want to slap her in the face.
The boots were low-heeled enough and they fit well enough that they actually weren’t bad for walking through the woods.
High heels are never a good idea in woodland. Boots that restrict your movement when going to clash with vampires are NOT A GOOD IDEA.
All that leather crinkled and sighed every time I moved. Under other circumstances, it might have been interesting; as it was, it was irritating. Important safety tip: Don’t try to sneak up on people in new leather. At least not people with supernatural hearing.
Pointing it out doesn’t make it cute and funny. It makes me aware of how stupid and harebrained this whole situation is.
Richard is around and Verne’s people have delivered the message, and Anita goes on about how Richard knows the pack so well and –
Okay, so Richard has been spending every summer in this town for a few years. Why didn’t he just move to the town? His family seem to be close to the area, the trolls he’s studying are there. So why did he live in St. Louis?
Thinking of Richard makes Anita SAD so Zane tries to hug her. She shrugs him off, not knowing whether she should like him (she shouldn’t), then says how well Zane’s leather outfit is great for running through the woods. Then she looks to Richard in his leather outfit, and says how she’s never seen him wear black before which I guess is supposed to be poetic but is wrong, because she’s seen Richard in black clothes plenty of times. Then she feels SAD that he isn’t hers.
Richard then comes on over which is bad because it means the vampire marks are calling him. I don’t know how or even when that happened, but I am then crushed with a pile of exposition.
Verne had learned through Mira that Colin believed that Asher was his replacement.
That’s good to know LKH! Would have liked it if that hadn’t happened entirely off screen! But nope, clothes porn was more important!
The plan is to convince Colin that Asher is in love with Anita and JC. This will make Colin not suspicious because… hell, I thought Colin was justified in not wanting any of JC’s crazy train arriving on his patch. Actual politics has been swallowed up by nonsense about sex.
Richard and Anita then talk and I think they’re supposed to lie and say they’re together but honestly, I have no idea what they’re talking about. I feel like I’m looking at a jigsaw that’s missing a massive chunk. They have to show off the vampire marks but I thought they could just show triforce power but LKH seems to have forgotten that exists.
Richard then flexes some muscle and his shirt rips. Whoop de fucking doo.
The silk ripped with an almost wet sound. Silk sounds the closest to flesh of any cloth when you tear it; only leather sounds more alive under a blade.
I’m not an expert on tearing through flesh, but I have worked with leather. Leather has never made the sound of ‘flesh’ when I’ve worked with it. It doesn’t sound alive. Probably because alive flesh under a blade usually erupts into screams when you tear into it.
Richard poses like the Incredible Hulk and Anita just goes on and on about how HAWT he is and Richard starts going on about how they should totes have all the sex and then he rides on power into the trees.
Jason then comes up and says how totes obvious it is that Anita loves Richard.
We started walking through the woods in the general direction everyone else had been going. We didn’t need no stinking directions.
wow so tuff