Heya gang! I missed last night’s blog because I was out seeing the production of Jeeves and Wooster at the Duke of York’s in London with a friend. It was super awesome – we are both huge fans of Matthew Macfadyen, who was playing Jeeves, and it’s a real treat to see such a good actor perform on stage. So I hope none of you mind I took a little time out for myself.
And onto today’s chapter.
Damian had refused to share a shower with Asher, even though they were both dirty and would need someone to help scrape the stuff from the harder-to-reach places.
You seemed to do okay, Anita. Why are you sounding so peeved that Damian didn’t want his personal space infringed?
I’d suggested they share a shower –
Why?? I would never go up to my friends and suggest ‘hey, why not shower together? It’s good for the environment!’
– because they were both guys.
… and therefore they don’t need privacy?
I knew that Asher was bisexual –
So you assumed that he is fine with showering with other people?
– but I still had a hard time wrapping my Midwestern upbringing around the fact that it didn’t matter what sex Asher shared a shower with, he saw both as sexual objects. I knew it, and it didn’t really bother me –
Could have fooled me, going by how you’re going on about it. And being rather insulting.
– but every once in a while, the knowledge surprised me. I don’t know why.
Possibly because you’ve got the offensive idea that bisexuals run around the place being turned on by each and every person that they meet? I mean – gasp – it’s like bisexuals are fellow human beings deserving the same amount of concern and compassion as everyone else!
Bleurgh. Biphobia makes me sick.
Jason, as one of those bisexuals, has no issues with being called into service to wash Asher. Asher comes out to wander around in just a towel, and the plebs are terribly shocked and horrified but Anita and Jason are cool with it. Anita then complains how everyone is treating her like the boss lady when she’s queen of the leopards, queen of the werewolves, and dating the master of the vampires.
Sigh. For the love of fuck Anita, why must you be so stupid?
You’d think hanging around with this many preternatural studly guys would mean there was a lot of sex, and sexual tension was in the air a lot, but more than sex, was pain.
That is a terrible sentence. In so many ways.
Anita then chastises herself for being so girly and compassionate (what.) and then Asher ANGSTS because Anita gives him a towel and treats him like a fellow human being. omg so deep.
If we’d been lovers, I’d have licked the water off his chest, caressing my tongue down the deep scars, maybe even slid a hand under the towel. But we weren’t lovers, and I’d never seen him nude.
… Tell me, hetro and homo normative readers: is it normal to look upon your friends and think, ‘I could do all this stuff to them if we were having sex – but we aren’t, so I guess I should stop thinking of them in these extremely sexual ways’. Because I don’t look to, say, a guy friend and think ‘huh, I guess I could be totally doing him right now – but I’m not!’.
Because I don’t think it’s normal. Why must Anita keep thinking of things in such sexual ways? Because… unfortunately, it just seems to confirm my sad and awful headcanon that Anita was abused as a child, and pretty horrifically. Everything is just sex, sex, sex with her, and frankly, it’s a bit disturbing.
And, lest me forget, Asher tried to violently rape Anita in the last book.
I didn’t know what was under the towel. He’d told me once that he was still fully functional, but that didn’t really tell me what he looked like under the towel. And as comfortable as I was with him, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. If it was as bad as his chest, I was almost sure I didn’t want to see. Yes, I admit there was a small part of me that did want to know for sheer curiosity’s sake.
WHY? WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH HIS PENIS? IT IS JUST A PENIS. PENISES ARE NOT EXTRAORDINARY. 49% OF THE POPULATION HAS THEM.
Anita decides to lean against him because… of course, and Asher says how he’s going to shock everyone by wearing as little as possible. OMG shocking. Anita then gives him the towel again.
He grabbed the ends of the towel like a shawl, pressing the cloth to his nose and mouth. “It smells of the sweet scent of your skin.”
I touched a strand of that heavy, gold hair. “You say the nicest things.”
More like ‘You say the creepies things, rapist guy’. Anita then gets soooooo turned on by Asher cause damn, there ain’t nothing like a rapist for turning a lady’s panties wet.
Jason then butts in to say that why doesn’t Anita get turned on by him, and that he’s so jealous.
Verne the local packmaster arrives to break this up. God bless Verne. Anita points a gun into his chest and lets him in. And there’s a lot of shit, and basically: one of the wolves had the rotting sickness, Mira was so pissed by Richard dumping her she immediately ran to the vampires, and they think that Verne should be punished for all of this. Anita gets pissy because Verne doesn’t know Nathaniel’s name, and seems determined to shoot him. They tell him how they cured everything with magic, and Verne says that the convenient witch of the pack felt that there had been power. Verne hates Colin, so agrees to stand with Anita and the gang against Colin. Anita agrees to help them, if she is allowed to kill Mira.
Of course. That’s not disproportionate. Anita can’t kill Colin, so she’s going to take out her anger on Mira. I mean, Mira did something cruel but mainly because Richard was being an ass.
And they’re going to make Colin pay wow much excite how awesome except not.
Can I just go back to Jeeves and Wooster?