Anita and Jason are driving into town to see Richard. I don’t foresee any problems arising from this situation at all.
Jamil had given me directions to the police station. He said to drive down the main street, turn right. You can’t miss it. Whenever someone says that, it means one of two things. Either they’re right and it’s obvious, or it’s hidden and you’ll never find it without a detailed map where X marks the spot.
I hate it whenever she goes off on a random tangent like that. Some writers can go on a tangent and make it interesting and witty. LKH just throws her own personal philosophy at us in a way that is boring and adds nothing to the plot.
Anita describes what appears to be a single street as being entirely rustic, having a mom-and-pop diner that is very popular, and every single building resting on cinder blocks. In other words, she has rocked up in podunk town, USA.
Another shop sold herbs and homemade jellies, though this wasn’t the time of year for it.
Because you can’t sell herbs and jam in the…. summer. I think it might be summer. I have no idea what time of year it is. But still, I had no idea that in America, you should not eat herbs or jam during the summer months. I was not aware that it is the greatest of social faux pas.
Jason points out the police station as the new pack enforcer. They pull up, and it becomes readily apparent that the new enforcer does not like Anita. The new enforcer is called ‘Shang-Da’, and I have a feeling he’s going to turn into a terrible Asian stereotype, especially considering that his name is that of a train station in Shanghai.
Research is your friend, LKH.
Anita and Jason head into the police station, so I’m predicting SHENANIGANS as she has to battle against the mean old police officer who is just doing his job and has the misfortune of having to deal with a psychopath.
My executioner’s license is in a nice fake-leather carrying case. It had my picture on it and looked damned official –
It is official. It’s an official document marking you out as a vampire executioner. Otherwise you’re just a twat with a piece of paper.
– but it wasn’t a badge. It wasn’t even a license good in this state. But it was all I had to flash, so I flashed it. I went in, holding the license out in front, because I was bringing a gun into a police station. Cops tended not to like that.
I wonder why.
Officer Maiden is a bit confused, seeing as he didn’t send for a executioner, and asks why Anita is here. She says she’s a friend of Richard Zeeman.
“No problem except that your friend is a damned rapist. I never understand why the meanest son of a bitch in the world has a girlfriend.”
Oh, I see a RECURRING JOKE beginning there! What hilarity!
Officer Maiden asks who Jason is, and if he’s Anita’s friend or Jason’s. I see that no one has pointed out that friends don’t generally get to visit when suspects are in custody.
Jason gave a big, good-humoured smile. “I’m everybody’s friend.”
Yeah, talking back to the official you’re trying to get past always turns out well. Tee hee hee.
Carl Belisarius then comes in, and everyone says hello and how beautiful Anita is (*gags*), and Officer Maiden says that the sheriff has give the go-ahead for Carl and Anita to go through, but not Jason. Anita’s gun has to stay at the desk, because no one would be stupid enough to let a gun into the cells.
I pulled the Browning out from under the jacket. I hit the slide and spilled the clip into my other hand. I jacked the gun open to show the chamber was empty and handed the whole shooting match to Maiden.
“Didn’t trust me to unload it for you?”
“I figured the Browning might be too small for your hands. Requires fine motor skills.”
“You giving me shit?” he said.
Can we not get through one scene with a police officer where they are not made into a terrible petty person who just hates Anita for no reason? Just why, exactly, must Anita have this contest with them, where she must stroke her imaginary penis and prove that yes, she does indeed have a humongous wonder-cock? I hate them. I absolutely hate the absolute disregard she has for any authority figure, just because they might suggest what she should do.
“Yeah, I’m giving you shit.”
Why? Because he forbade Jason entrance?
She bitches at him for the choice of gun he has, although he is a police officer and probably doesn’t have any choice over the government mandated weapon that he is carrying.
Then there is this. Oh god there is this.
“I’m afraid not. Mr. Zeeman has not relented.”
“Relented,” Maiden said, “relented. Now, that’s a nice lawyer word.”
“Reading improves your vocabulary, Officer Maiden. You should try it sometime. Though I supposed you can get by with just looking at the pictures.”
“Ooh, I’m cut to the quick on that one,” Maiden said.
“If you cut us, do we not bleed?” Belisarius asked.
Maiden shocked the hell out of me by giving the next line: “If you tickle us, do we not laugh?”
Belisarius clapped softly. “Touché, Officer Maiden.”
“Big and well read,” I said. “I’m impressed.”
He pulled a chain out of his pocket with keys on the end of it. “Don’t tell the other cops. They’d think I was a sissy.”
I looked up at him, all the way up at him –
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
– “It’s not reading Shakespeare that makes you a sissy, Maiden. It’s that damn gun. Only pansies carry that much hardware.”
I’m not going to scream at the pointlessness of this. I’m just going to say: thank you LKH, for showing us definitely that police officers are stupid, hicks are stupid, and Anita has a cock so big, she could use it as a boat to circumnavigate around the globe.
Anita and Belisarius head on through to see Richard, where there is more stroking of Anita. Belisarius fawns over Anita, about how beautiful she is, and shows he knows nothing about rape.
“I asked him why, with a nice piece of ass like you for his girlfriend, he had to go out and rape somebody.”
Rape is, you know, not about sex. It’s about violence, moron.
They arrive at Richard’s cell, and LKH spends three lines describing that it is white. Well done. That’s more for your word count. Anita goes on and on about how amazingly HAWT Richard is, as that’s how I want to think about a man in police custody on suspicion of rape.
Richard does not want Belisarius. After all, he’s innocent, and that means he doesn’t need a lawyer.
Yeah, that’s how a trial works! You just arrive, say that you didn’t do it, and they set you free!
Richard is being charged with rape, not attempted rape, as while the rape kit of the victim has no semen, there was evidence of penetration, such as with a foreign object. Belisarius attempts to ask Richard questions, but Richard just gets angry and refuses to co-operate. Wow, there’s a way to make yourself look innocent. He says that he dated Betty Schaffer, but that they never had sex. At this point, Anita cries about how he’s just saying details to make her upset, so Richard then begins to give details of his sex life with Lucy, Carrie, and Mira, and shouting at her for daring to help him.
i just hope these two kids work it out and get back together.
Anita whines at Richard, like always, so let’s ignore that. Richard continues to whine about how he’s innocent and doesn’t need a lawyer.
This man is a teacher and is working on a Master’s Degree. How has he got this far, when he clearly does not have a brain?
Belisarius informs Richard that he has been denied bail, which does not happen unless the courts fear you can escape easily (like if you have a private plane) or you’re a violently dangerous criminal. He also says they have to make Betty Schaffer into a whore, which well, is a real tactic in these sorts of cases.
Anita and Richard then make a big deal about how this going to take. They are as suspicious as possible, but refuse to tell Belisarius what is going on. Well, when you’re in a society that doesn’t know about werewolves, you have to hide what you are for as long as possible, to avoid freaking everyone out.
Richard then asks if Anita is jealous of Betty.
Please don’t ask your ex if she’s jealous of the woman you supposedly raped.
And then ANITA SAYS SHE IS JEALOUS OF BETTY
I don’t know why all of us aren’t jealous of rape claimants! Ooh, the humiliation of having your vagina examined by a strange doctor! The joys of trying to get a room full of male police officers to believe your story! The scorn and degradation you will face in court! Having your sexual history paraded in front of strangers! The fact that a large amount of people will believe that somehow, the fact you were attacked was your fault!
If I see one more person trying to claim that these books are feminist or empowering, I will have to attack them with knitting needles.