A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ chapter forty three

It has been decided that the EVIL Vampire Council are the perfect people to remove the vampires from the burnt out house. Because there have been no systems put in place to deal with this type of solution. Obviously, no one ever thought ‘hey, someone might firebomb a vampire’s house and then we have to deal with hungry vampires rising from the grave!’. This is a stupid universe.

She phones JC, who understandably believes she is on some sort of intense acid trip. The council can help as they have an obligation or something. I would argue, in my capacity as their lawyer, that the vampire council is purely a legislative body and has no obligation to help on a real world basis. Anita uses the US government as a reasoning; I would say that the Vampire Council do not function as a governing body of a state, and so do not have the same rights and duties as a nation’s governing body.

I would extract a very lucrative salary. I would buy myself an island.

Anita then thinks that the Vampire Council are behind the arson attacks, even though the arson attacks began before the council came to St. Louis. It transpires, conveniently, that the very presence of the council means all vampires in St. Louis are instantly more hungry and will walk in the day. This involves the Traveler just because. This also involves Warrick because.

Anyway, JC and Anita have to put on a formal entertainment otherwise they’ll be killed. Or something. I don’t know.

Warrick is a knight of the first crusade and Yvette is old but will never be a master so this makes her super mean. I’m not sure what this has to do with the formal entertainment. All that Anita and JC care about is how this makes the vampire council really bad as leaders. And that JC ties to make Anita promise to not bargain with the council to save the church vampires.

JC calls Anita ‘my lady’ and Anita complains how this makes her feel like a dog.

This chapter was one long phone conversation that was held together by string and sellotape, because none of it went together at all.


3 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ chapter forty three

  1. On the one hand, I’m happy that JC isn’t contaminating the rest of this book with his presence. But on the other, this book does nicely demonstrate just how utterly useless he is.

    And once again, LKH takes the two entirely unrelated plots of the book and forces them together, like pieces from two different puzzles. Because as we all know, once Anita has declared someone to be the villain, they most certainly are, regardless of how little sense it makes.

    And now the important questions: where would your island be, and what would you name it?

    • I think I might buy that brand new island that’s just been formed off the coast of Japan. I will call it ‘The Island of Good Fiction’ and LKH CAN NEVER VISIT.

      I don’t understand why she just didn’t make the Vampire Council the plot of this book. The arson goes nowhere, why not just have it be about vampire politics?

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