A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ chapter twenty one


What can happen after yesterday’s unpleasantness?

It’s time for a trip to the doctors!

Rafael is on an examining table, hooked up to IVs and painkillers, although for a man who’s been skinned you’d expect he’d be under sedation. He is conscious as they are… doing whatever they’re doing. I have no idea why he’s getting all the attention – and yet no treatment – when there is a woman who was brutally gang raped. But whatevs, women aren’t as important.

“Will he heal?”

[Dr. Lillian] nodded. “Yes. The real danger with this type of injury once you survive the shock and blood loss is infection. We can’t get infections.”

“Let’s hear it for the terminally furry,” I said.

She smiled and patted my shoulder. “I know humour is your way of dealing with stress, but don’t try it on Rafael tonight.”

That was humour?

Rafael is avoiding sedation until he talks to Anita, because… reasons, and Anita remembers Sylvie. Lillian says she will heal, but she’s not a therapist. All she knows is that Sylvie wants to go with Anita, as Anita is safe and comforting.

I think I vomited a little in my mouth.

Sylvie can’t feel safe at the wererat emergency room because obvs Elizabeth would have told Padma about this place, the filthy whore. Sylvie can go with Anita after there has been a long, pointless discussion with Rafael. There is some description of the treatment Rafael is not getting (salve. That’s the solution to being skinned alive. Salve) and Anita sits by his head. Rafael wants to know how Anita got him free. I’d like to know as well, seeing as none of it made any sense, and she just says she bargained for him, offering nothing for everything. Despite Rafael specifying his question as the first of many, he doesn’t ask any more. Anita gets Lillian and walks off to bother Sylvie.

She was in a small room where Lillian had hoped she could get some sleep. Sylvie had been joined by her lady friend, significant other, lover, whatever.

Girlfriend. Partner. You could at least bother to have some respect.

Anita goes in and immediately notices that tall Sylvie looks ‘fragile in the small bed’.

she was raped so brutally she had blood dripping down her legs. Could you not be so stupid please?

Gwen looks like ‘a pale, finely made doll’ because women, especially women who love women, are all pathetic delicate messes.

Sylvie has an important message to bestow upon Anita. You see, Gregory, the brother of Stephen, was ordered to rape her but refused. This is serious and dramatic because…. ummm… I’m not sure. Gregory was seen once in the last book and was already an insane rapist.

“I thought Gregory was one of the stars of Raina’s porn films.”

“He was,” Sylvie said softly.

What I wanted to ask was, when did he get to be squeamish? but that seemed crude. “Did he suddenly grow a conscience?” I asked.

Look, Gregory was already an insane rapist but

WHY IN THE FLYING FUCK ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT ALL PORN ACTORS WOULD BE WILLING TO RAPE PEOPLE FOR THE LULZ?

LKH, for a woman who goes on about how she’s so in touch with her sensual side and bitches at people for ‘not getting’ erotica, you are one of the most prudish writers I have ever read.

Sylvie confirms that Anita is the saintly new alpha, and that Gregory refused to honour Elizabeth’s deals as Anita needs to do them. Sylvie wants all the wereleopards dead as they filmed the rape, as this was her punishment for speaking out against Marcus and Raina so they made her an example….

what? This was about Padma torturing her for control of the wolves! It has nothing to do with Raina!

Oh no

This was a previous rape that happened before. I guess Sylvie needed a further humiliation to make her look even more worthless in comparison to Anita.

god

Anyway, Sylvie confirms that Anita is the most amazingest person to ever live and that the wereleopards adore her.

“He said you were their leopard lionne, their rampant leopard.”

Oh no not more pointless bullshit nonsense for the therian packs that I have to remember but I don’t want to because LKH decided to make her mythology pointless and endlessly confusing.

Leoparde lionne is a term from French heraldry. It’s a leopard, or even a lion, rampant in action on a crest. It symbolizes brave and generous warriors having done some brave deed. In this case it means a protector, even an avenger –

– Gabriel was a lion passant, a sleeping lion. He led but did not protect. In effect, Gregory did not merely refused to harm Sylvie, he also told the Master of Beasts that if he was harmed, you would save him.”

“How can I be their leoparde what-you-call-it if I’m not a leopard?”

Because you ARE THE MOST SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD.

And why does a type of shapeshifter that originates in Africa and Asia use French heraldic terms to describe their hierarchy?

oh and Viv was expected to rape Sylvie but refused but i don’t remember who vivian is.

Anita is planning something, so Sylvie begs her to not do anything foolish. Anita then demands she never challenge Richard, because Sylvie is wicked and vindictive and now she’s being medically treated, Anita can hate her again. Anita threatens to kill Sylvie. You stay classy Anita. This means she’s forbidding fights for succession so this is undermining Richard but Anita’s been told off-screen that Richard is near suicidal so instead of leaving him alone to heal, Anita is going to force herself into his life and undermine him.

oh and liv raped Sylvie, justifying Anita kneecapping her. obviously she was totally depraved and evil.

Anita walks out, happy that she threatened to murder a victim of gang rape, and ruminates on how all the vampires are sleeping in the basement of her house. The house that Anita does not have. She lives in a rented apartment. Where does she have a basement? She worries about the wereleopards, and does not once consider going to the police.

It’s so hard being Anita Blake.

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7 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ chapter twenty one

  1. I could have bought Anita becoming leader of the leopards based on basically being the only one who gave a shit about them; but it’s Anita, and she shouldn’t be allowed to care for a houseplant.

  2. Isn’t it convenient that the people Anita assaults and kills are evil, even if she didn’t know they were evil when she attacked them? LKH just can’t bear for Anita to not know something, even when she shouldn’t. And she manages to simultaneously make her as dumb as rock. Impressive.

      • I think the universe changes retroactively to make Anita right. If she hadn’t shot Liv, Liv wouldn’t have raped Sylvie. Yet another of Anita’s reality warping capabilities.

  3. “Terminally furry”? wtf?

    When has anyone but her ever suggested that “lycanthropy” is a fatal disease – it makes you faster, stronger and age slower. “Terminal”?

  4. Huh… I seriously think Liv became a rapist in “BO” just because she didn’t take bullshit from Anita in the previous book and some readers actually liked that. I liked her fighting back to this crazy bitch… R.I.P. Liv, you had so much potential…

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