A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ chapter sixteen


Anita has fainted, and JC is both cradling her and massaging her shoulders. There is wind blowing on her face. JC’s warmth is cooling the fire, while his cool wind blows out Padma’s fire. At the same time. Hmmm.

I turned in his arms so I could see his face. The face was pale and perfect, and you’d never have know, just by watching, what it had cost him to save me.

You’ll never know by reading what it cost him to save Anita.

Hannah is possess by the Traveler, Her ‘battered face’ is calm, and apologises to JC for… something. Willie insults Traveler, and JC asks if he has come here to kill them. Traveler says he doesn’t want to kill them, but says that JC must take his warmth back from Anita. He even stopped breathing for a minute or too! Which would be really bad if he wasn’t already dead! Padma says he will not stop JC from feeding on Anita. JC says he has no need for blood, just warmth.

What in the everloving name of sanity is going on?

Oh, it’s all a trap so they think Anita is more of a servant. They work to insult Padma, as that’s clever, but then JC… actually drains the warmth from Anita’s body. He strips off and asks Anita to touch him – just put her hand against his chest. Anita is cross as she doesn’t like doing intimate things like touching him in front of people.

Padma laughs at Anita’s modesty for touching people. The Traveler taunts JC for being just a bloodsucker. Anita finally gives up and puts her hands against his chest. And she complains about how cold he is. She feels immense heat rolling up her body and curses that they are in public – otherwise, they might do it in private.

Yeah, having the heat drawn from your body. Sexy.

Padma laughs about how obviously Anita used to be a virgin. JC says that Anita must put her mouth over his heart. Anita huffs about how intimate this is, and then tongues his stomach and all over his chest, including his scar, and then finally over his heart.

What was the point of that? I thought you didn’t like doing sexy times in public, so you start getting your mack on anyway? Then there’s nonsense about how JC is breathing but doesn’t have a heartbeat, even though he’s already dead, and he begins to drain her life. He demands a kiss, and they begin to makeout. Anita is horrified to realise that he’s gotten turned-on by all this.

No shit.

The Traveler and Padma sigh about how they were surely bested and that JC has so many powers that they could not hope to have. He has so much strength that he can go find his people now.

He blinked and looked at Padma. “Damian.”

Damian’s was one of Jean-Claude’s lieutenants. Like Liv, he was over five hundred, but would never be a master.

In Damian’s case it was over a thousand years, but would never be a master.

SAJHASDGDASJHGASDJHGASDJDHDHFDFDFSDFSDFDFDFSDFDFSD

I needed a release. The editing on this book is really bad. I think this may be the book LKH started editing the books herself.

JC apparently bargained for Damian, and now something vaguely bad has happened to him. He’s been given over to someone, so Anita insults Elizabeth by saying how weak she is and that’s why Gabriel (the murderous rapist) couldn’t love her.

“She wouldn’t have brought them here if she were stronger.”

…. Elizabeth brought the Vampire Council here? I thought the Queen of Nightmares was examining the societal conditions of vampires in America? What the fuck is going on?

JC and Anita worry about Damian. I guess the wereleopards, Fernando, Hannah, Willie, and Padma are just standing around watching them wonder about things half-naked on the floor.

I… just… this is making me miss The Killing Dance. At least it made sense. Horrible rapey sense.

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3 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ chapter sixteen

  1. Even before the ardeur, LKH was all about “ugh I want my heroine to do sexy things but if she wants to she’s a total whore, must have circumstances make her no matter how flimsy or illogical it is!” Everything is just so obviously contrived that, even if I enjoyed this kind of thing, I’d be irritated by how the strings are showing.

    If two Council members seriously thought some upstart twit was more powerful than they, I think they’d kill him, not sigh about it. They must be trying to trick Anita (I say Anita specifically because I don’t think JC would be dumb enough to fall for that)

    MAN, THAT ELIZABETH. YOU KNOW WHAT’S THE WORST THING I CAN SAY ABOUT HER! A MAN DIDN’T LOVE HER! THAT’LL SHOW HER. I MEAN WHAT COULD BE WORSE TO SAY TO A WOMAN?

    • Let us all stand around and watch Anita and JC makeout for no adequate reason! This makes perfect sense!

      This is the kind of crap I’d pull in Evangeline – a parody book. I’m amazed that someone can play it straight.

      ELIZABETH YOU DUMB BROAD. YOU’RE SO PATHETIC EVEN THE RAPIST COULDN’T LOVE YOU!

  2. Of course, a woman has to be strong to be worthy of love. That’s a wonderful message. And given that Anita has hooked up with a rapist, she has no room to comment.

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