A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Killing Dance’ chapter thirty six


How’s everyone been over the past few days? I feel like I ought to use my rambly intros to propose new discussion points after the successes of the X-Men and Van Helsing discussions. I have no idea what to talk about now, my brain is like swiss cheese. Other than asking why every historical fiction novel has to include a pointless rape scene but my issues with that extend to just about all kinds of fiction, ever.

Richard and Anita pull up to the barn where Raina shoots her snuff films. Sorry, ‘dirty pictures’ as LKH refers to them, because she and Anita are weird when it comes to sex and porn. There’s a lot of cars. Richard’s hands are moist. He outfit is described as looking ‘antique’ because he’s wearing a leather cloak. An Elizabethan style cloak, as it’s tied across the chest and hangs over one shoulder.

So Richard is looking like a combination of ‘Walter Raleigh Ken’ and ‘Bondage Fun Ken’. Wow. He’s dressed for a fight.

Richard talks about sharing power and gaining power from JC’s mark but all it seems to do is make him growl and the woods seem alive. He spreads POWER to Anita. I am very unimpressed. Anita is all like POWER POWER EVERYWHERE I THINK I AM THE TRREEEEESSSS and eh, whatever. Anita and Richard run together and their POWER crashes over the other werewolves.

Marcus sat in a chair that had been carved from rock so long ago the edges were rounded with weather and hands and bodies. I knew that this clearing had been the meeting place for the lukoi for a very long time.

I don’t think that this place has been a meeting place for whitebread lukoi for a very long time. I think this place may have been a meeting place of religious significance to the Native American population before the white werewolves arrived, killed them, and forced them off their land so they could use it. But that’s just my interpretation based on a knowledge of history and the history given in the books of shapeshifters. I could be wrong. It could be that LKH didn’t think through the significance of what she said.

Marcus is wearing a tuxedo of real gold.

This is a shirt made of real 24 carat gold. It was custom order shirt ordered by an exceedingly wealthy Indian man. I don’t see how Marcus, the surgeon, has got enough money to buy a tux made of gold.

Raina, as she is evil, is doing nothing but prancing around in body glitter and diamonds. See? She’s evil because she’s slutty! She’s upset because Anita and Richard are riding around on each others powers and Anita’s clearly not a werewolf. If she was, she’d be nude with body glitter too.

Richard proclaims Anita as his very own mate. Marcus orders Raina to test it. How can one test how a couple are each other’s mates? It apparently involves Raina putting SEX POWER in the air and doing a sexy dance.

I have no idea what is going on.

Anita strips off her coat to reveal her bra and shorts. She strokes herself, and rides on Raina’s SEX POWER. They walk around each other with POWER and are apparently fighting but Anita of course wins and Raina is all sad and pathetic and slutty. Anita strokes Richard until he gets hard and Jason sticks his head in their crotches.

This book has been building up to a great big werewolf fight. I did not think that involved naked women stroking their bodies and makeouts.

“You can’t let them do this,” Raina said.

Marcus pushed himself to his feet. He seemed tired. “No, I don’t suppose I can.” He looked at Raina, naked, beautiful, fearful. “But it is not your blood that will be spilled tonight, is it, my love?” The irony was thick enough to walk on, and for the first time, I realized that Marcus knew what Raina was, maybe had always known.

Two things. One, I don’t think that was ironic. It read as sarcastic to me. Two, yeah, I think he might know that his girlfriend makes snuff films.

Raina puts her head in Marcus’s crotch. Anita realises that Marcus loves the evil slut and is surprised.

Richard accuses Marcus of planning the hit on Anita. Marcus is surprised that he knows. Richard strips off and promises to kill him.

After pushing him for the whole book to kill Marcus, Anita now thinks it is a terrible idea and Richard is certain to be killed.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

and put on a shirt, it’s probably cold out.

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11 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Killing Dance’ chapter thirty six

  1. This reads like an adult version of ‘Twilight’. Instead of building a conflict up for an entire book and then talking it away, they sex it away. Kinda anticlimactic. Also, I really want Anita to catch hypothermia from running around at night in her underwear.

    • She didn’t catch hypothermia when she went swimming in a freezing lake and was given the wrong first aid, so I’m not sure if she can feel the physical effects of cold when she’s dancing around in booty shorts.

  2. I now think that she died of blood loss when she refused to get her wrist treated last book. JC turned her into a vampire and she’s so moronic she just hasn’t noticed yet.

  3. I still can’t think of this scene without laughing. Because yes, it’s just hilarious reading about them being all SEXAY, and no one on this earth but LKH could find this erotic. Plus, the clothes. Oh, the clothes.

    Next chapter, though, I think we can safely pin the beginning of the descent of the series from “crappy supernatural fiction” to “even crappier supernatural porn.”

  4. A gold tux.

    A GOLD TUX

    honestly, how he afforded it is the LEAST of my wtf-ing.

    “Richard proclaims Anita as his very own mate. Marcus orders Raina to test it. How can one test how a couple are each other’s mates? It apparently involves Raina putting SEX POWER in the air and doing a sexy dance. I have no idea what is going on. Anita strips off her coat to reveal her bra and shorts. She strokes herself, and rides on Raina’s SEX POWER. They walk around each other with POWER and are apparently fighting but Anita of course wins and Raina is all sad and pathetic and slutty. Anita strokes Richard until he gets hard and Jason sticks his head in their crotches. This book has been building up to a great big werewolf fight. I did not think that involved naked women stroking their bodies and makeouts.” and here I thought the series jumped shark at NiC.

  5. “Anita strips off her coat to reveal her bra and shorts. She strokes herself, and rides on Raina’s SEX POWER.”

    Well. Um.

    If nothing else, if I ever need a porn-star name, ‘Rider Powers’ would be just awesome.

  6. “Raina, as she is evil, is doing nothing but prancing around in body glitter and diamonds.”

    Oh wow. So she is, to quote Jim Butcher, “vajazzled”. This is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen.

    • She’s supposed to be this super awful villain, but she’s just so ridiculous whenever she turns up that I can’t take her seriously. She’s just such a mega super special ‘slut’ that she’s quite camp.

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