A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Killing Dance’ chapter thirty two

Dominic, Cassandra, and I came up with a spell. The part of the plan that was my idea was very simple.

I’d never have guessed.

I had put zombies back in their graves for years. I was good at it. As far as I was able, I was going to treat this like just another job: laying the dead to rest, nothing special. Lay the zombies first, worry about the vamps later.

And tell me, Anita, exactly why couldn’t you do that by yourself? ‘Simple’ apparently now means ‘the fucking obvious’.

Anita makes Cassie and Stephen wait on her hand and foot to fetch things and weapons, so she can do a very basic ceremony. She treats it like a big deal, but I’m sure that she’s sent zombies back to the grave without ceremony before. Like, in every book where she’s raised huge amounts of zombies. She’s just told them to go away and they have done.

Anita then fees smug enough to lecture JC on the meaning of the word necromancy. Even though she knows nothing about it and apparently wants to know nothing about it.

Dominic then cuts in smoothly to correct her for getting everything wrong. It seems that everything went tits up because the triforce were rolling around in make-out session on the floor, not because JC’s a vampire. This just further proves that rolling around in a make-out session instead of focusing on the task at hand does no good. He also reminds them that they promised to help Sabin, because OH YEAH HE’S ONLY ON THE COVER AND IS IMPORTANT AND STUFF.

Anita is asked to focus on one zombie and make it lifelike. She whines about it and drags her heels, so Dominic has to sweet talk her into doing it by saying how he’d never risk the lives of her friends and blah blah blah, Anita, if you really cared about the vampires you raised, why can’t you try and do something about it instead of putting up barriers each time something useful is suggested?

Dominic and JC share a look of deep understanding for no reason. Possibly it’s a shared moment of ‘she never gets round to doing anything!’ but for JC it is purely in a sense that she won’t let him rape her and now I feel bad for having said this.

Richard and Anita share a look. I don’t know why.

Anita and JC share a look. When is anything going to happen?

Anita and a zombie share a look. The zombie is probably thinking that it wants a cornetto.

Anita whispers ‘live’ and magically, the zombie now looks perfectly alive and in a nice set of clothes with a watch chain. How does her animating powers make a gold watch chain appear?

Dominic pulls out a knife and asks Anita to let him cut a vampire, and then for her magical powers to heal the wound. Damian is brought forth, has his face slit, and the wound is dutifully healed.

The blood slowed, then stopped. The cut knit together seamlessly. It was… easy.

Maybe if you could be bothered to do anything, you’d have found that out earlier. It means that she can heal Sabin’s rotface now so they arrange to do so tomorrow. They just have to use triforce power, which needs sexual energy to work.

There it is then. POWER is sex magic. Why couldn’t you just say? For a woman who is supposedly so into eroticism, LKH is such a prude.

Anita, Richard, and JC touch auras and magic happens. The vampires are still zombified though. She asks for Richard’s help, so she can cut her wrist open, and he complains like a child. Guess I know what those two had in common. He snaps at her for daring to ask him to do something. She slashes his wrist open for good measure, as blood from all three of them must be used for the spell.

“Why does this bother you more than Jean-Claude tasting you?”

He swallowed. “A lot of things don’t bother me when I’m thinking about sex.”

“Spoken like someone with only one X chromosome,” I said.

Because haha only men are arseholes haha. And since when was JC going to bite Richard? The argument two chapters ago was over Anita being fed on. JC has his wrist cut open, and the werewolves in the room begin to panic and beg to drink the blood.

Yeah, they’re werewolves, not vampires. Why are they desperate to drink blood?

The raised vampires walk towards the blood, and Anita sends the zombies back to the ground. She flicks blood on the vampires. It doesn’t work – what a surprise, I can’t imagine why flicking liquids on people doesn’t break magic spells – so she feeds them the blood. This works, so she sends them back to their coffins. Anita then passes out, and I can tell LKH has never done so as it is so dramatic and swirly.

I don’t like magic if it is left vague.

5 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Killing Dance’ chapter thirty two

  1. Anita Blake/LKH has inspired me to write my own work of supernatural fiction. One where, you know, things actually make sense and the heroine isn’t stupid.

  2. It really is painful sometimes to read LKH’s attempts at dealing with anything even superficially resembling sex, because she clearly is a prude on level with Victorian stereotypes.

    And her lack of interest in really fleshing out what could be a fascinating universe is so amazingly aggravating. Like this: why can Anita control vampires? Because she’s a necromancer, and has power over the dead. But then how do vampires work during the night when “alive”? Especially when she has a scene in a later book when she actually feels Jean-Claude’s spirit leave his body when the sun comes up. Where does it go? What the fuck happens to it? And even moreso, she’s only raising the vampires now *because* they’re technically soul-less and more “dead,” so aaargh aaargh WHAT.

    Yeah, I’ve had these thoughts about this series for a while. Which will likely never be decently explained because she lost the Post-It note.

    • Thinking things through? Effort? Logical thought? How dare you try and make LKH make sense! For she has not time for haters who just want to hate and cannot see the brilliance of her work!

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