A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Bloody Bones’ chapter forty


Anita runs to the highway, and manages to hitch a ride. While covered in blood and looking like a demented fuck-nut. To borrow a quote from AB herself ‘Riiiight’.

Who says there are no more good Samaritans?

I say that people wouldn’t pick up a woman running around covered in blood and brandishing a large knife and it has nothing to do with being inherently good or bad. It’s about being worried she’s gonna slice you up a treat.

The elderly couple who don’t think that serial killers may wander around on highways drop Anita off at the police so she can talk to Agent Bradford. Everyone is know wanting to listen to her, and she loves it. She orders them to storm Serephina’s house and they… do nothing? They find bodies in the back garden but that seems to be it. Anita has to come up with a plan to destroy all the evil vampires.

“Burn them out. Block off everything but the front door. If Magnus is inside, he’ll come out.”

“Magnus Bouvier?” he asked.

“Yeah.” There was something about the way he said it that I didn’t like.

“The cops found what’s left of him in the parking lot. It looks like something melted the lower half of his body. Would you know anything about that?”

WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED THAT MAGNUS IS DEAD, ANITA. YOU GOT HIM KILLED. YOU WATCHED HIM BURN TO DEATH.

11bullshit

Anita is all like ‘well, the vampires punished him’ and Agent Bradford is all ‘yeah, the vampires punished him *wink*’. The two exchange sitcom-freeze-frame smiles and I consider hulking out.

She phones up Lawrence, who managed to escape offscreen. She invites him to come and smash Serephina.

“Yeah. Jason’s in the hospital, but he’ll live. Jean-Claude’s in the bedroom asleep. After Serephina bit you, she hit Jean-Claude with some kind of power, energy. I felt it, and it was awesome. She knocked him out and left. The others went with her.”

Would have been nice to see some of that, instead of being told it.

Anita and Lawrence meet up. They suit up. Anita’s many wrist wounds hurt, but she has refused all medical attention on any of them. Anita, Lawrence, and the police all drive to Bloody Bones because… hey, wait, was everything with Serephina happening at Bloody Bones? Since when??

Anita sprays the entire building with the contents of a gas truck. Yes, this sounds completely safe. She has a sudden attack of OH DEAR LORD THE DRAMAZ (real medical term, i swear). Serephina, it would seem, is controlling Anita like a living doll.

Serephina is all like ‘help mommy they want you to kill mommy’ and Anita orders the police to put her in handcuffs. Anita orders the police to torch the building because, conveniently, Jeff Quinlan has now been made into a vampire. That’s right – Anita is now murdering a young boy who was abducted, raped, and turned into a vampire against his will. What a wonderful woman. Anita gets shoved into the back of a squad car and is all ‘oh i can feel the pain of serephina’ and it’s very dull. Serephina burns to death, Anita yells out ‘Mommy!’ a lot.

Last chapter tomorrow. Hurrumble!

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