A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Bloody Bones’ chapter thirty nine


Anita is in the middle of a dream, full of beating hearts and her mother.

I don’t care. It’s so boring and pretentious.

It would appear that Anita has been in Serephina’s coffin. She gets out. All the other vampires are just lying around everywhere as it’s the middle of the day and they don’t care that someone could just walk in and kill them. Magnus is awake, casually cutting things in half with a giant knife. Wow, he seems trustworthy. He’s also wearing a mint green shirt and I want to gag. He says about how Serephina has underestimated Anita and tries to hypnotise her.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

Magnus then leaps upon Anita, because it wasn’t at all obvious that he was evil, and they fight. They roll around punching each other and then Anita grabs the subtly mentioned giant knife and stabs him in the stomach. He shrugs it up, and starts to drag her towards Serephina’s coffin. He’s going to lock her in there until Serephina wakes up and realises that she has been locked in a coffin with Anita. Anita says some crap about how he’s mortal – yeah, I believe that when he shrugs off getting shanked in the gut – and so Magnus slices open her wrists. I think he does this to match the massive untreated wound that she already has on her wrist.

The blood from her wrists falls into Ellie’s mouth for some reason and Anita thinks she can raise her.

how come she can raise a vampire?

fuck it

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

Anita decides that her plan is to rub her hands in her own blood and rub them all over Magnus’s chest because he is desperate to fuck her. Yes. Of course. All the men in these books instantly want to fuck Anita. She then begins rubbing Ellie’s face with the blood and BLAM she raises her like a zombie

When Ellie isn’t a zombie.

I don’t understand how she can do this.

Anita orders Ellie to grab Magnus and the two of them end up running for the door.  They run outside to the sudden parking lot (???) and Ellie wraps her arms around Magnus. Of course, it’s sunlight so Ellie lights up like a beacon and Magnus slowly begins to burn alive.

Magnus collapsed in the middle of the driveway, shrieking. The vampire was melting into him, burning him alive. Sweet Jesus.

Don’t act repentant now, Anita. You knew this would happen. You sent a man and young girl to a horrible fiery death to make your life easier.

Well Serephina is calling Anita so it’s back to this pointlessly long and boring conclusion wahey

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2 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Bloody Bones’ chapter thirty nine

  1. She can raise and control vampires like zombies because she’s a necromancer, not just an animator

    I’m amused he changed his clothes offscreen.

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