A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Bloody Bones’ chapter thirty six

Remember that bit in the first Austin Powers movie where Dr. Evil dressed up Austin and Vanessa in ridiculous outfits?

Yeah. Janos has brought more ‘suitable’ outfits for Anita and Lawrence to wear. I don’t know why. There’s apparently some sort of party. Whopee.

One of the rotten vampires shows up in a fancy dress. A male vampire with blood red eyes and a tux with tails, and a vampire cape, shows up. It’s Xavier, the villain. It turns out that – dun dun dun – the evil vampires were working with the other evil vampire to recruit more evil vampires. LKH takes great lengths to describe the outfits of everyone around but not to say what’s happening.

Ellie Quinlan arrives as a vampire and Janos calls her Angela, a clever ruse so that people in her home town who she’s known her entire life will magically not know who she is. Xavier, as her master, tries to set her on Stirling. Anita considers not helping him for a while, but remembers that she kind of has to.

Her amazing plan for getting Stirling away is… to slowly drag him away while all the vampires stare at her. Kissa threatens to shoot Lawrence and Anita is surprised that her well-thought out ruse has failed. Anita threatens to not co-operate, and the vampires laugh at her childishness. She and Lawrence are made to throw their crosses away and Lawrence must ask whether the vampires will really kill Stirling.

No, they’re going to have him licked to death by kittens.

Anita goes up to the Kissa, with such a powerful sexuality that it must be talked of whenever she is introduced, and asks why she hasn’t been allowed to feed. Kissa has a questionable loyalty, you see, and doesn’t get to join in on the ‘let’s eat Stirling’ fest that’s going on. The vampires gobble him up, after Anita makes them hypnotise him so she doesn’t have to listen to his screams as he is drained of all his blood.











2 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Bloody Bones’ chapter thirty six

  1. I love it when Anita is ‘forced’ to play dress up. That’s the sort of shlock that I would write about my super tough heroine that isn’t girly at ALL because that’s WEAK but she totally Cleans Up Well because she’s not some icky ugly chick.
    You know, when I was 10.

  2. The more they describe the outfits, the more I pine for the clown shoes. Come on. Vampire clowns. That would be legitimately worrisome to me. Clowns are already creepy without even drinking blood!

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