What delights are in today’s chapter?
JC goes to sleep in the room but OH NOES Anita leaves her suitcase in the room with him. She runs in to get it before it becomes infested with vampire cooties. She finds it remarkable that the hotel doesn’t give a shit that she ordered bedding at a ‘quarter past dawn’ (wtf?).
It’s a hotel Anita. I really think they’ve seen worse.
Jason and Lawrence return so Anita stuffs her gun down the front of her trousers to answer the door. Why, that sounds perfectly safe. Lawrence is eating, Jason is carrying all of JC’s luggage one-handed. They haven’t found the missing coffin because it’s missing. Surprise surprise.
Anita harasses the two guys for eating this early in the morning.
“I’m always hungry,” [Jason] said. He looked at me sort of expectantly.
I let it slide. It was too easy.
“Come on, I fed you that one,” he said.
Is that a quote from something? Because it’s gone right over my head and I pretty much consider myself the queen of obscure reference jokes. If this is a reference to something, or that patented LKH ‘humour’, I would like to know.
Jason then moves on to talking about how wacky the werewolf life is. Apparently, he keeps having friends die. Anita promises to have a word with Richard about this, even though I’m fairly sure that Marcus is still packmaster. Anita wants to know Jason’s opinion on all this, but he’s only allowed to ‘think whatever Jean-Claude wants me to think’. Lawrence proclaims he doesn’t understand any of it (tell me something I don’t know) but Jason says he doesn’t doesn’t have to. Lawrence should probably only understand supernatural issues if he wants to pursue a supernatural related career.
Anita decides to phone the police but Jason forbids her – JC wouldn’t want it. He makes a few jokes, as he’s clearly feeling a bit under pressure, so Anita blows off at him.
“I can be just as scary as the next guy.”
I stared at him. “No,” I said, “you can’t. That’s why you’re not alpha. That’s why you’re Jean-Claude’s pet, because you’re not scary enough.”
Jason is rather hurt and pissed off by the accusation that not being scary enough has led to him being enslaved to Monsieur Twatwaffle. Anita tries to calm down another mess she’s caused. It gets a bit confusing for about two pages; essentially, Jason growls for a bit, so Anita puts her gun against his chest and says she can’t wait to kill him. She then realises that this was all probably some plan by JC to prove that werewolves are as bad as vampires. She then says she wants Jason to sleep in her room, presumably so Anita can murder him in his sleep.
No, it’s concern that Jason may kill Lawrence. Jason wouldn’t dare kill her, you see, because JC would kill him but then Lawrence says he’s not afraid of JC he’s more afraid of Anita killing him and while this is true I have no idea why any of this is connected to anything else. Jason pipes in to say that he’s more afraid of JC, as Anita would kill him quicker. Anita complains that her means of keeping Lawrence away from vampires have kept him away from vampires. I want to talk about cheese.
“If you really believe that I’d kill someone quicker than Jean-Claude would, I have overprotected you. You have to understand how dangerous they are, Larry. How deadly, or someday I won’t be around and you’ll get killed.”
Lawrence didn’t say that you’d kill someone quicker than Jean-Claude – that was Jason. Lawrence actually said that out of Jean-Claude and you, Anita, he was more afraid of you. He was talking of a very specific context.
Lawrence tries to defy Anita’s wishes, which is always a bad move.
“No. Tomorrow you can be ass-deep in vampires with me watching. Until you understand how dangerous the monsters are, I don’t want you alone with them.”
Strangely enough, the only monster in this room in my opinion is Anita.
Lawrence has no option but to obey the Great and All Powerful Anita Blake. He storms away to his own room, and Anita commands Jason to sleep on the floor somewhere – ‘I don’t care; just not near me’. Jason decides to fuck da police and sleep in the bed with JC. I’m not sure I’m supposed to like Jason, but he follows the trend of secondary characters who piss Anita off by reacting realistically to her bullshit.
Anita is surprised by this; even though Jason has told her he is the pet of JC, which includes normal pet-owner things such as being raped and being fed on, she was not aware of any of it. She demands that he be outraged but Jason just goes to bed.
The massive ship of ‘who Dottie loves and wishes she were married to for showing logic and sense at a perilous time’ now includes Freemont, Stirling and Jason. It’s positively Anita Blake like.