It’s another long chapter today, which is a double edged sword. I like that Hamilton has stopped dicking about with her chapter lengths, but it’ll make the review longer.
It was after 2:00 A.M. before we got back to the graveyard. The Feds had kept us forever, like they didn’t believe we were telling them the whole truth. Fancy that. I hated being accused of concealing evidence when I wasn’t. Made me want to lie to them just so they wouldn’t be disappointed. I think Freemont had painted a less than charitable picture of me. That’ll teach me to be generous. But it seemed petty to point fingers at each other, and say she did it, when Beth St. John’s blood.
Anita, you’re three years older than me. Why are you such a child? ‘Oh people doing their job waaahhh Freemont tells the truth waaahhhh no one believed my lies waaaaahhhh’.
Anita is back with Mister Stirling at the Bouvier cemetery, ready to raise the dead – well, I think. It’s been such a long time that I’m not sure whether I remember or care any more now there’s a potential vampire child molester running around kidnapping/murdering young boys. Although I am glad Anita is not involved in the investigation currently.
She complains that Stirling is making her work, that killing vampires doesn’t pay her, and waaah waaah waaahhh my toys fell out of my pram waaaah people are mean waaahhhh. I just can’t make myself care.
Ms. Harrison stumbled, and only Bayard’s grab on her elbow kept her from falling flat on her butt. She was still wearing her heels. Maybe it was against the executive secretary code to wear tennis shoes.
Says the woman who wore a bright red mini skirt to a brutal murder scene.
Anita then thinks about Jeff possibly being raped and how God doesn’t always save people. No, but the police do if you tell them if your potential vampire rapist told you that there’s a vampire in the area who likes abusing teenage boys.
Anita tells Stirling to do some stupid things, he counters. I hate this book and yet it may be my favourite in the series so far because like all the secondary characters are taking the time to talk back to Anita and not accept her shit as gospel.
“All right, Ms. Blake. Do your job, but know this. You have been decidedly unpleasant. It had better been spectacular.”
Let us add Stirling into the wonderful Freetie ship. We can call it… Shirt’n’Tie.
Lawrence worries about how Anita is feeling and she tells him about the vampire molester. Lawrence cracks that it breaks the rule ‘that you can only be one kind of monster at a time’. AHAHAHA AHAHAHA AHAHAAHA child abuse is funny and jokes ought to be made about it.
I cannot say more emphatically how much it disgusts me that Anita and Lawrence crack jokes about the potential for a vampire paedophile. My music teacher as a child was a paedophile. The idea of molestation as a source of humour turns my stomach. (I was not abused by the teacher. I add this because I do not want it to be taken to mean that I was sexually abused – and this has in turn impacted my sexuality – and that I think it would be wrong for people to think of me as a victim, when there are many silent victims in the world who need our help and support)
Anyway, Anita is going to do something super sphesul necromancer bullshit called ‘reading the dead’. She then goes on about how she always knew she had an affinity for the dead and how she could always tell the soul had fled the body. Shame that it’s been implied that Anita didn’t know about her deadly powers until that wicked Mexican grandmother turned up. She apparently saw the soul of her great aunt at the aunt’s funeral. The aunt’s name was Katherine and it’s Anita’s middle name. Anita K. Blake. Laurell K. Hamilton. Huh.
There’s talk of souls that is very tedious and just feels like forced exposition so Anita can espouse how amazing she is at sensing souls. waaaah waaaah waaaaah poor spushul snowflake.
Anita stands around and talks about wind. She talks about it for two pages. The plot is driven to a painful halt. Anita is making wind and says she will touch the dead. She talks about soil and skeletons. Then some ghosts appear which is meant to be amazing. Magnus Bouvier shows up. Someone has a gun and threatens to shoot Magnus. Anita says that she is not going to watch someone get shot for trespass. Says the woman who murdered a man just to make a point. The guy with the gun listens to Anita, not his boss who told him to shoot Magnus. Anita then says that this was all a big plan to draw Magnus here. I think Stirling leaves. Magnus does some magic and implies that Lawrence is a speshul snowflake of his own. Isn’t that wizard.
Magnus says they shouldn’t raise the dead on this mountain. Well, fuck you, is Anita’s reaction and points a gun at him. She asks him, a fairy, why he uses fairy magic. Magnus asks her if she really thinks he’s the murderer. No, she thinks some nutjob vampire did it.
Anita tells Magnus to put his hands on his head so she can shoot him better. Wait, didn’t you just yell at someone trying to do that? She’s only got silver bullets, no iron (PRECIOUS PRECIOUS IRON WHICH YOU SHOULD HAVE ON YOU AS A GIVEN ANITA), and Magnus says ‘STFU BITCH’ and vanishes.
Anita ponders the ghosts, saying that they’re at least three hundred years old, more than Stirling told her. She forgets that Magnus told her the Bouviers have been living here for three hundred years. She then talks about Native Americans being potentially buried in the area, but calls them ‘Indians’ and goes on about how non-European they are.
This was an unpleasant chapter, but here’s a quote from LKH that makes me just laugh and laugh over and over in a kind of malicious trance.
“I took a lot of history in high school, and again read more than my share on my own. I think my knowledge of what has really happened in the past, helped give my vampires and their society a realistic feel.”
A lot of history? You know a lot of history? YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHEN YOUR OWN COUNTRY BEGAN TO BE COLONISED BY EUROPEANS.