A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Bloody Bones’ chapter thirteen


OH HAI GUISE I’M BACK

I just needed a break after finishing my degree, but I am back and ready to kick the butt out of bad fiction!

Anita talks to Jeff, the son of the Quinlans, about his dead sister. She asks how serious Ellie and the ex-Andy were.  Apparently they were quite serious, but Jeff throws all thoughts of his sister out his mind to ask Anita about vampire hunting. Oh, and Lawrence too, as he’s still here. He’s not doing anything and serves no purpose. Anita says about how she kills vampires and raises zombies and that they should chat further.

If I’d been a cop, questioning a juvenile without a guardian or lawyer present would have been illegal, but I wasn’t a cop. And he wasn’t a suspect. Just gathering information, folks. Just grilling a sixteen-year old boy about his sister’s sex life. Murder investigations are never pleasant, and some of that unpleasantness has nothing to do with the corpse.

I don’t think it’s legal for anyone connected with the police to talk to any juveniles without a guardian present. And Anita knows what she’s doing is wrong because she’s using the word ‘grilling’. This is a great way to throw out the case if it ever gets to trial. The defence team of whoever gets accused will be able to use Anita as a perfect means to get the case thrown out of court.

Anita thinks for a second that she ought to tell the police officers guarding the body that the ‘undead make no noise’ and they’ll all be kind of screwed if the vampire comes back for more. She shakes away that thought to be mean to Jeff. Preventing a hideous bloody massacre is just too boring to contemplate.

Jeff’s room is a bit childish and Anita whines about how she’s not used to sitting down in a mini-skirt, so panics about where she’s going to sit.

Anita then asks how ‘hot’ an item Ellie and Andy were. Yeah, not awkward. Not awkward at all. Jeff says they hung all over each other at school. Yeah, that’s an effective means of measuring a relationship. Anita notes that Jeff pets the poodle like it was a habit and I just want to smack her. Jeff didn’t like Andy; Andy smoked too much pot and didn’t have any plans. Gee, sounds like pretty much every girl’s teenage boyfriend. Andy went missing two weeks ago so Anita immediately thinks he’s the vampire that killed Ellie.

just… what, why? Why would Andy kill Ellie, then? If he was a young and inexperienced vampire then why go to the trouble of carefully draining all her blood and disposing it methodically? Where did Ellie’s blood go? This doesn’t make any sense!

Lawrence pipes up with the info that at some point he went outside and found the bushes outside Ellie’s window were all crushed, as if something heavy had landed on them. Anita proclaims she will track Andy and kill him, without a trial or proof of guilt.

“Heh,” [Lawrence] said. “I found a clue.”

Lawrence laughs about hunting down Andy and has to be reminded that new vampires can kill. And this man will be allowed to carry out executions on behalf of the judicial authority. Pray. Pray for them all.

“Fine, Larry, but where’s the vampire that made him? That one may be a couple of centuries old, and it’s out in the dark, too.”

He went a little pale around the edges. “I never thought of that.”

“I did.”

He gave a shrug and had the grace to look embarrassed. “That’s why you’re the boss.”

Anita says they’ll go out and track Andy, because… she can apparently track things now. I guess she just thinks she can do a thing and she can do the thing. Lawrence says that ‘I done good’ and I just want to scream and cry. Is having intelligent and worthwhile supporting characters really so impossible?

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14 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Bloody Bones’ chapter thirteen

  1. Welcome back and congrats on your degree!

    When Anita does become a cop, the regular rules still don’t apply to her because she gets to be a super special preternatural branch marshal. She doesn’t even have to do paperwork. No, really. Apparently the preternatural marshals don’t have to do paperwork because when they did the details of their reports were just too disturbing for the higher-ups to handle reviewing.

    ….yeah because it’s not like real law enforcement has paperwork for dealing with serial killers, child porn, etc. Seriously, no government job is so grimdark it can get you out of the bureaucracy that comes with the badge.

    Uh, his sister is dead, he’s reaching to the family dog for comfort, Anita, it’s a normal human reaction, foreign as I know those are to you.

    It couldn’t be that Andy’s disappearance is simply connected to Ellie being killed, oh no, HE’S DEFINITELY DA KILLER!

    • Yeah, ‘School Reunion’. Me and Cecilia were watching it, now that we have nothing else to do, and I realise that part is pretty much my entire reaction to each and every one of the Anita Blake books.

      Thank you!

  2. Boy reaching for support from a beloved pet because he upset about his sister being fucking murdered right in his own house an hour ago? Weak.

    Anita still obsessing about her mother dying, what, 20 years ago in an accident? A-ok!

    God, how did I miss what a self-centered lunatic this character is when I was younger…?

    • I think we can all admit to being a little blind to flaws in things when we’re young – I used to think the Catwoman film with Halle Berry was good… – because AB seems like she should be just this amazing awesome character like Buffy. Her more hateful side would be more miss-able for younger readers, I think.

      • When I was in high school, she herself still got on my nerves and came off as a Mary Sue, and I disliked JC as a love interest, but I really loved everything else and thought it was great aside from these two things.

      • For the sake of my dignity, I am going with this explanation.

        I just remember thinking this series was so FUN up until she went and turned into a sociopathic whorebag that raped a bunch of people. Then, looking back on it years later, it becomes apparent the sociopathy was always THERE, she was just more of a prude about it. In a way the sex might be a step up! At least when she is boning some random schmuck, she seems aware that he exists and is also experiencing human sensations from the event, even if she clearly doesn’t care.

  3. “Heh,” [Lawrence] said. “I found a clue.”

    The first thought when I read that line was, “No, that’s a jar of jam.”

    Seriously, the gang from Scoobie-Doo are better detectives than Anita and the entire RPIT crew. Hell, Shaggy and Scoobie alone are better detectives.

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