A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Lunatic Cafe’ chapter fourteen

Sorry for missing yesterday guys, I was at a house party. And prepping for my Master’s Degree interview, which was today. I’m not going to talk about it much (in case I jinx it) but I think it went okay. I’ve also got a new short story in the works for this weekend, although it’s not the one I promised. A new idea came into my head and shoved the other one out, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it just as much.

Every year I wondered what to buy Judith, my stepmother, for Christmas. You’d think after fourteen years I’d get better. Of course, you’d think she’d get better at buying for me. Judith and I always ended up staring at each other across the chasm of misunderstanding. She wants me to be this perfect feminine daughter, and I want her to be my dead mother. Since I can’t have what I want, I’ve made sure Judith doesn’t get her wish, either. Besides, she’s got Andria, who is perfect. One perfect kid in the family is enough.

Isn’t that a lovely sentiment to open up a chapter onto. All I’m getting is that Judith – who is apparently obsessed with 1950’s values and I don’t buy it for a second – kept trying but Anita was such a bitch that they were unable to forge a meaningful relationship.

Plus, who the fuck is ‘Andria’? A sister? A stepsister? You have to explain who these people are. You can’t just drop names and people into existence into your series. Now I’m wondering why Anita hasn’t mentioned siblings for four books. Or her father’s name.

You know who else we haven’t seen since in ages? Catherine. Yeah, Anita’s best friend. You see, Anita is Christmas shopping with Ronnie, the only likeable character in the whole series.  Well, ongoing character who is human. Wheelchair Wanda and Irving are not horrible too. I’m wondering what the fuck happened to Catherine. She probably pissed Anita off and was summarily executed.

Ronnie asks what Anita thinks about Richard after last night. Anita avoids the question and proceeds to talk about Josh, her baby brother of fifteen years. He’s spoken of with care and affection and I suspect that this is because he displays masculine attitudes in an approved fashion. Not like that fucking Andria. Whore.

Ronnie, because she has my love and blessing, is full of common sense about Richard. When Anita wangsts about how she doesn’t know Richard, Ronnie basically tells her to not be so silly. When Anita complains that Richard is a lying liar who lies, Ronnie points out that he didn’t lie and has Anita told him everything about herself?

Ronnie is the only nice, sensible character. I really hope she stays that way.

Ronnie says she hasn’t got far on the case yet – it’s bee a day, don’t push my angel too hard – but says she really needs pictures of the missing people to help the case.

Anita ignores this and thinks solely about dumping Richard because… after two months they don’t know absolutely everything about each other.

I want to hurt things.


3 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Lunatic Cafe’ chapter fourteen

  1. “She wants me to be this perfect feminine daughter, and I want her to be my dead mother.”
    Oh wow, Anita is being really self-aware here, it’s rare for–

    “Since I can’t have what I want, I’ve made sure Judith doesn’t get her wish, either.”

    Whether Andria and Josh are half-siblings or step-siblings flip-flops back and forth through most of the series. I don’t think LKH knew the difference for a long time. Finally in Flirt (the 18th book) we find out that Andria is a step-sibling and Josh is a half-sibling. Because only a boy, of course, gets to have the privilege of sharing Anita’s genes.

    Ronnie will get ruined, sadly, but not until the 14th book.

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