A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Lunatic Cafe’ chapter ten


Guess who got an MA interview?? I might be going to do a Master’s Degree next year! And I get a very long chapter to review. Huzzah. (On a good note, I’ve got a short story in the works I’m hoping to put up in a few days)

Anita’s on her way to see Marcus.  She talks about her guns for a while but as I have a real dislike for guns, I don’t care. I don’t know whether they’re accurate or not, so I am unable to scream over inaccuracies in her weapons which I presume are there. Marcus is apparently very cross that she doesn’t trust him enough to see him alone and I can just tell already that I am going to be enamoured with him.

The Lunatic Cafe was located in University City. Its sign was a glowing crescent moon with the restaurant name done in soft blue neon.

OH I GET IT

The cafe is full of people being, you know, a cafe, and a waitress greets Anita and Irving.

She was tall, slender, with long, straight hair. It was a rich, reddish auburn that gleamed under the lights. Her face was a soft triangle, maybe a little too pointed, but overall she was lovely. Her eyes were a strange amber-brown that matched her hair perfectly.

Her smile widened, just a lift of lips. I knew what I was looking at. Lycanthrope. One that could pass for human. Like Richard.

OH DEAR LORD MAKE IT STOP

OF COURSE LYCANTHROPES CAN PASS FOR HUMAN. THEY DON’T GO AROUND LOOKING LIKE WOLVES OR SNAKES OR SWANS ALL THE TIME BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE – EVEN AS PEOPLE AS STUPID AS THOSE WHO POPULATE THE ANITA BLAKE UNIVERSE – WOULD NOTICE! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO HURT PEOPLE

In fact, the whole cafe is full of shapeshifters. Who would have guessed?

Raina, the waitress, is actually the alpha-female of the pack and is ‘creative’ with her punishments. So I’m guessing that Anita is going to do/say/be horrible at her at some point. Irving smiles at a likely female with black hair in the crowd.

Her large, dark eyes met mine. The eyes told me nothing. They had smiled at Irving; for me they were neutral. Like the eyes of a wolf I’d seen once in California. I’d walked around a tree and there it had stood. I had never really understood what neutral meant until that moment.

oh hi switzerland, you’re not important anymore. Neutrality is to be now defined as being the eyes of a wolf, not being aligned with a side or position in a controversy. Apart from the fact that this wolf woman is clearly not neutral about any part of this situation, being probably inclined to support her pack or supporting Irving. So not neutral at all. Just disinterested in Anita.

OH OH OH WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS

Raina’s special power as a wolf – because fuck it, everything has to have a special power – is to ‘body sculpt’ and change her facial features. When they go into the back room, Raina rearranges her entire face and height, making herself look like a supermodel. Which is her real face. Because… I have no idea, but her beauty is such that even die-straight Anita has to gasp at this wonder of human physiology before her. I do not like this.

Going through into a backroom because this cafe is made from discarded TARDIS remnants, they are greeted by two men. One has a goatee. I think he may be evil. The other has brown hair and a pale blue suit because no one dresses well in these books.

There was a Hiddleston picture in a pale blue suit BUT I COULD NOT FIND IT and the internet could not find it and now I am sad. So have some Hal from Being Human.

Much better.

Marcus is the shit in the blue suit and he asks goatee man to search Anita for weapons. Marcus wants her help, you see. Raina then asks about how good Richard is in bed because she’s beautiful and therefore a bitch. There’s some crap about pack law which is either going to lead to Irving or Anita or Richard fighting someone (I really don’t care). She challenges him and it drags on and on and it turns out it was all just crap leading up to goatee man being permitted to search Anita for weapons. Which he does terribly, completely missing her gun.

I am sad.

MUCH BETTER.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Lunatic Cafe’ chapter ten

  1. Congrats so much on the interview, and good luck with it!

    The gun porn gets really tiresome.

    Ugh, I get that she means ‘can pass for humans as in extra-sensitives like Anita who can sense most therians for what they are won’t sense them’ but she phrases it as if, as you point out, they overtly look like half-animals to everyone. At least, I think that’s what she means? maybe not, since she knows immediately that Raina is one?

    Obviously not having an opinion on Anita in particular means neutrality, because Anita is the center of the universe, and so if you’re not focused on her in some way, you’re neutral, no matter what your other motives and opinions are.

    “because she’s beautiful and therefore a bitch” Ah, I see you’re working out how things operate in the Anitaverse

    • Very nervous about the interview but it’s going to be so much fun. If I get on the course I’ll be studying in London in a creative entrepreneurship course. Scary but LONDON.

      The world operates around Anita. It’s an Anita-centric universe. The final book will reveal that she is actually the universe.

  2. I just wanted to say that I finished reading all your Anita Blake reviews and that I’m enjoying them =)

    I thought the same as RF up there about the “can pass for human” thing. I think any non-human creature in the Anita-verse gives off an aura of power or something that other non-humans and sensitive humans(Psychics and the like)are able to sense and that’s how vamps know Anita is a necromancer. But some of the powerful ones are able to hide their power or control their power level so their enemies underestimate them and they’d have the upper-hand

    Congrats on the interview btw!

    • The aura thing makes sense (Anita is able to tell vampiric ages with some kind of super aura thing) but Hamilton phrases it so poorly it really does sound like she’s constantly amazing that werewolves aren’t walking around with wolf heads and no one else is noticing.

      Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s