Larry was lying on the floor, head cradled in Yasmeen’s lap. She held his wrists. Marguerite had pinned his body under her own. She was licking the blood off his face with long, lingering strokes of her tongue. Richard law in a crumpled heap, blood running down his face. There was something on the floor. It writhed and moved. Grey fur flowed over it like water. A hand reached skyward, then shrank like a dying flower, bones glistening, shoving upward through the flesh. The fingers shrank, flesh rolling over the nubs of raw flesh. All that raw meat and no blood. The bones slid in and out with wet, sucking noises. Drops of clear fluid spattered the black rug. But no blood.
Honestly, JC, you leave for five minutes and your vampire groupies are making a mess all over the carpet. Anita pulls out a gun and threatens Yasmeanie, who laughs. JC, of course, does nothing. Anita fires and threatens Maguerite, something not particularly clever as Margie is currently giving Lawrence a hand job. Knowing Anita, she’d probably shoot Lawrence.
She looks at the wolf and notes with surprise that it is Irving, the man she knows turns into a wolf. She didn’t quite believe it until she saw it, you see.
She’s a professional.
Yasmeanie threatens to kill Lawrence because… she doesn’t like JC’s bran muffins, I don’t know. JC tells her not to hurt him instead of doing anything effective. Anita decides she can’t take the chance of shooting Margie, so she doesn’t shoot.
“Do something, Jean-Claude,” I said.
Even Anita has realised you do nothing, JC.
“Yasmeen wants to be Master of the City. But she isn’t strong enough.”
No one can defeat the might of Puddykins, no one!!!!
JC and Yasmeanie argue, because JC is basically impotent. It’s a little thing called the Xavier Clause; Hamilton has created a powerful character that could solve a problem instantly by using their powers. But uh oh, that’s going to fuck up your plot, because you need tension, and the action to be spread out over a longer period of time. The normal solution is to incapacitate said character; as in the X Men films, they knock Xavier out or incapacitate him to stop him from solving everything. Or in Doctor Who, the writers get rid of the TARDIS so there’s no easy solution to the conundrum the Doctor is in. However, Hamilton is not creative enough to come up with a clever solution to stopping JC from stopping everything. She just has him talking and doing nothing, and it is hack writing at its worst.
WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE FOR DOING NOTHING, JC? WHAT IS IT? YOUR OVEN BURNT YOUR MUFFINS, THERE’S CAT HAIR IN YOUR THROAT, YOU’RE JUST A LAZY BASTARD?
Marguerite still clung to [Lawrence]. He got to his hands and knees with the woman riding him like a horse, arms and legs still clamped around him. She was laughing, kissing his neck.
I kicked her in the face as hard as I could.
Okay, I did think that was awesome.
Anita tries to shoot Yasmeanie, and JC intervenes for once – to knock her arm and make her miss the shot. He needs her to take on the other vampire masters, even though he can’t control her or trust her. Because he is a moron. JC sends Anita and Lawrence from the room in the company of Richard, warning him not to fail him like Richard did today. JC might have to raise his voice at him, or something.
Lawrence cries on the way out.
I tried to think of something to say anything, But what could I say? He had seen the monsters, and they had scared the shit out of him. They scared the shit out of me. They scared the shit out of everybody. Now Larry knew that. Maybe it was worth the pain. Maybe not.
You could try ‘I’m sorry’? Or ‘That’s happened to me, I can relate to what you’re feeling now?’ Or even ‘Let’s go to the police and tell them what happened, because any time a vampire commits a crime they instantly get sentenced to death and we can kill her?’ You know, any effort at comforting someone (that I’ve just realised is younger than me) in a traumatic situation?
ANITA NO UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS HUMANS CALL EMOTION, EMPATHY AND COMPASSION. ANITA IS SELFISH BITCH WHO NEVER PULLS HER FINGER OUT FOR FRIENDS.
Being Human is back on tonight. Some good drama involving werewolves and vampires will make me happier.