My vampire kit included a sawed-off shotgun with silver shot, stakes, mallet, and enough crosses and holy water to drown a vampire. Unfortunately, my vampire kit was sitting in my bedroom closet. I used to carry it in the trunk, minus the sawed-off shotgun, which has always been illegal. If I was caught carrying the vampire kit without a court order of execution on me, it was an automatic jail term. The new law had kicked in only weeks before. It was to keep certain overzealous executioners from killing someone and saying “Gee, sorry.” I, by the way, am not one of the overzealous. Honest.
List time again I feel.
- I feel sorry for Anita’s O ring, considering the stuff she keeps pulling out of her ass.
- i mean seriously, she is a professional kill vampires person. why is she not allowed to carry the tools of her trade with her?
- would you ask a judge to leave his wig behind at home?
- i don’t know much about gun laws, but the little I know is that sawed-off shotguns are legally allowed to be used by legal authorities.
- which anita counts as.
- if you have to say that you are not a crazy killing machine, i think you might be a crazy killing machine.
The police drive to the morgue, woefully unprepared and having narry a fucking clue as to what to do. Anita describes it as being like ‘a Clint Eastwood movie’ and I have to remind myself she is a professional. Dolph says that special forces will arrive soon with silver bullets, but fuck it! The police aren’t waiting for the tools that they need to deal with the situation – they’re just going to run right on in!
You are all morons.
All vampire victims were brought to the basement of the old St. Louis City Hospital, even those who die in a different county. There just aren’t that many morgues equipped to handle freshly risen vampires. They’ve got a special vault room with a steel reinforced everything and crosses laid on the outside of the door. There’s even a feeding tank to take the edge off that first blood lust. Rats, rabbits, guinea pigs. Just a snack to calm the newly-risen.
Hamilton, I think you badly need to see a proctologist. Because it must hurt pulling this much out of your ass. I hate using the same joke twice in such close succession but as said yesterday you specifically fucking said in the last book that people who are found dead and the authorities suspect that they were killed by a vampire, they immediately, no questions asked, call in an executioner to stake the corpse and prevent it from rising as a vampire. Vampire victims not claimed by a vampire are not fucking allowed to rise vampire. You said it in the last book. The main character spoke of how much she went to the morgue to stake vampire victims. She spoke to all the staff there who knew her very well. She was incredibly condescending and sexist to the doctor who worked there but had the gall to be female, over twenty five and not married. I complained about all of this then. You can find it here. I do not forget and I do not fucking forgive being so stupid as to ignore what you wrote in the last fucking book. I do not suffer fools gladly.
I need something to rinse out the taste of angry, angry bile that’s suddenly risen into my mouth.
I couldn’t pick a favourite so I chose them all.
Anita closes the chapter by saying how this is all her fault for saying that the guy was 100% not-vampire and endangering everyone. She ignores the fact that it is the law to immediately stake suspected vampire victims.
And as long as this part of the plot carries on I will be angry. Because it proves that these books have an internal logical consistency of a hob nob.