A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Laughing Corpse’ chapter twenty five


Let’s get back to whores today. Hey, has anyone else ever noticed that all the insults that are based on being sexually promiscuous are aimed at women? That’s something that’s probably more interesting than today’s chapter.

There’s no elevator at Anita’s apartment block, so JC OF COURSE carries Wanda up the stairs and Anita carries the wheelchair. What, can’t he carry both, Mister Amazing Vampire?

Dottie!JC: I CANNOT CARRY THE WHEELCHAIR, ANITA, IT CLASHES WITH TODAY’S LACY SHIRT!

The only consolation I had was I got to watch Jean-Claude climb the stairs. So sue me. He had a very nice backside for a vampire.

I bet it’s covered with smallpox scars though. And seriously, save yourself and don’t google smallpox scars. You. Will. Regret. It.

JC has to be invited into the apartment because HEE HEE HEE he’s a vampire, but as a purist, I like the fact that vampires still have to abide by the invitation laws. Wanda is put back in her chair and pushed inside.  She asks for a red wine because sure, it’s really clever for a prostitute to drink on the job. JC dances around and snoops through her stuff. Nice. Wanda twigs at this point that – SHOCK HORROR – JC is a vampire.

frowny face

What gave you that idea? Wanda says that she’s not ‘coffin-bait’ which is really stupid. I like the term ‘fang-bangers’ as it’s clever, it rhymes and rolls off the tongue. ‘Coffin-bait’… just doesn’t. Anita tells her she just wants to talk.

‘You want me to talk about doing it with other people, while you do it with him?’

Wanda sounds as if she’s about fifteen years old. ‘Doing it’. Yes. That’s how a streetwalker would talk.

‘Look, Wanda, we ware just going to talk. That’s it. Nobody is going to do anything to anybody. Okay?’

She shrugged. ‘It’s your money. We can do what you want.’

That one statement made my stomach hurt. She meant it. I’d paid the money. She would do anything I wanted. Anything? It was too awful. That any human being would say ‘anything’ and mean it. Of course, she drew the line at vampires. Even whores have standards.

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A message has been dropped. Women selling themselves for money is bad! Now that Hamilton has imparted this message for humanity, let’s get back to the vampire stuff.

Anita asks her about Harold Gaynor. Wanda says she doesn’t know him but then gets suddenly distressed.

My gun was showing, which seemed to upset her. Good.

purenazirage

She thinks you are going TO KILL HER and you are HAPPY ABOUT THIS? Wanda’s not a fucking suspect! She’s a woman who has to streetwalk to keep herself alive! Why are you so horrible to people Anita???? JC floats into the room, after sniffing Anita’s underwear, and talks about how he can smell Wanda’s terror. I feel so sorry for Wanda. She thinks Gaynor is going to kill her if she talks and that Anita is going to kill her if she doesn’t. Wanda cries and begs for Anita to not let JC hurt her. Anita, sensing that her prey is weak, gets JC out of the room and leans in to find out the full juicy story of Harold Gaynor.

Wanda was seduced by Gaynor when she was in college. She dropped out to live with him because it was easier than studying – she had everything provided for her. Gaynor was easy to please – at first. You see, he liked her legs and what he liked about them was that Wanda cannot feel her legs at all. After a while, he started to cut her legs open.

‘It’s alright now, Wanda. He can’t hurt you anymore.’

‘Everyone hurts you,’ she said. ‘You were going to hurt me.’ There was accusation in her eyes.

It was a little late to explain good cop, bad cop to her. She wouldn’t have believed me anyway.

Please explain to me when you were doing the ‘good cop, bad cop’ routine when both Anita and JC were threatening to kill Wanda. I would just love to know how I was getting it wrong for all these years, and thinking that someone had to be, you know, good.

Wanda was replaced by Cicely, who enjoys torture. For a little while, Wanda would do threesomes with Cicely and Gaynor. Cicely likes to skin people. I feel vaguely sick. I am so sorry for Wanda and the fact she was trapped in this world and then was forced to resort to prostitution when she was got rid of.

Anita doesn’t give two craps about this and lectures Wanda on how bedroom secrets won’t help her get Gaynor. No, because the police aren’t at all interested in men and women who torture people for sexual kicks.

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Luckily, it turns out that Gaynor is obsessed with treasure!

….

….

if this book turns into a treasure hunt, I will hurt something.

Gaynor’s mother was a mistress who was thrown out by a rich family when she got pregnant BLAH BLAH BLAH TRAGEDY ISN’T IMPORTANT and Gaynor wants a voodoo practitioner to raise the bodies of his father’s family to tell him where the family treasure is.

THE ONLY TREASURE THAT MATTERS.

THE ONLY TREASURE THAT MATTERS.

This is stupid. Really stupid.

Anita suddenly feels a strange sensation – care for another human being. I know. It’s very out of character.

‘Is it terribly naive to offer you a ticket home or somewhere?’

She nodded. ‘Terribly. And why should you want to help me? You’re not a man. You don’t like women. Why should you offer to send me home?’

… So let me get this straight. People can’t help other people unless they have a sexual orientation that means they would want to sleep with the person that needs help? Because that’s the only thing I can possibly get from that. Anything else is stupid and offensive.

‘Stupidity,’ I said and stood.

‘It’s not stupid.’ She took my hand and squeezed it. ‘But it wouldn’t do any good. I’m a whore. Here at least I know the town, the people. I have regulars.’ She released my hand and shrugged. ‘I get by.’

‘With a little help from your friends,’ I said.

She smiled, and it wasn’t happy. ‘Whores don’t have friends.’

‘You don’t have to be a whore. Gaynor made you a whore, but you don’t have to stay one.’

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WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK WHAT THE HELL WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HAMILTON??? WHY ARE WANDA AND ANITA SUDDENLY BFFS? WHY IS IT STUPID TO OFFER TO HELP??? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING SO MONUMENTALLY STUPID AS ‘WHORES DON’T HAVE FRIENDS HEE HEE HEE’ DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING? WHY ARE WE SUDDENLY SUPPOSED TO BE SORRY FOR WANDA WHEN TWO PAGES AGO YOU WERE ALL ‘MEH’ ABOUT THE FACT SHE HAD THE FLESH SKINNED FROM HER LEGS BY A SICK, SICK, SICK, SICK MAN? AND OH, REAL NICE ANITA, TO BE NOBLE WHEN YOU’VE GOTTEN WHAT YOU WANT! OH WANDA’S SO BRAVE, WANDA’S SO NOBLE NOW THAT ANITA THINKS THAT SHE IS!

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Now that another important social message has been imparted –

Seriously, fuck any message Hamilton has to impart. Hamfistedly saying 'prostitution is wrong :(' is not going to help anyone.

Seriously, fuck any message Hamilton has to impart. Hamfistedly saying ‘prostitution is wrong :(‘ is not going to help anyone.

– Wanda leaves with Anita telling the taxi driver she’s in a wheelchair ‘like Wanda told me to’. Well yeah… she has to have her wheelchair accommodated for.

I was mad at Harold Gaynor for victimising Wanda. Mad at Wanda for allowing it.

Victim blaming. Victim blaming. Anita just gets more and more pleasant with every chapter she’s in.

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I’ll just clutch my new Catwoman Converses and think of happier things.

‘There will always be victims, Anita. Predators and prey, it is the way of the world.’

Fuck off Jean-Claude.

Magically, he does and thankfully the chapter ends. I’m going to have a chip sandwich and wonder why this was published.

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2 thoughts on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘The Laughing Corpse’ chapter twenty five

  1. “She meant it. I’d paid the money. She would do anything I wanted. ”
    Right, because consent doesn’t matter when you’re a whore! You have no limits or personal boundaries and whoever buys you can do whatever the hell they want!
    I’m not going to touch on this, because it honestly makes me nauseous. One thing that I find interesting, though, is that in the early books, it seems like all the “bad guys” are sexual sadists. Then when LKH has a sexual awakening, everyone’s into (what she thinks is) BDSM (but really isn’t, because the way she writes it is hella rapey and ignores SSC rules).
    Repression much?

    • Sexually expressing yourself is bad! (Especially if you are another woman…)

      I can’t get over how we’re supposed to ignore the nightmarish torture of Wanda because Anita doesn’t think it’s important. I don’t understand why Anita is so cruel!

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