A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Guilty Pleasures’ chapter forty seven


Sorry for the delay in updates folks! Been up to some cray halloween stuff and some cray university work – so I hope you forgive me.

My pumpkins are pretty cool though!

Nikolaos danced around him. The skirt of her pastel pink dress swirled around her. The large, pink bow in her hair bobbed as she twirled, arms outstretched. Her slender legs were covered in white leotards. The shoes were white with pink bows.

She stopped, laughing and breathless. A healthy pink flush on her cheeks, eyes sparkling. How did she do that?

Cocaine, I suspect. Also –

Claudia is a badass. Little Miss Nikky is a very poor expy.

Nikky asks whether Anita wants to put Philip through his paces – to see him ‘perform’. It can be with Anita or Nikky, her choice! I choose that we avoid child pornography, kkthxbye. Oh no, wait, she was going to make Aubrey kill him again, for the lulz. Nikky, you’re so smart and funny. She talks about how she’s so powerful and awesome and that she’ll turn Anita into a totally awesome mega vampire.

Nikky, I don’t care. You are boring. You are not interesting. You are a terrible villain. You are not charismatic, or tragic, or terrifying. You lack the qualities which make a memorable villain. I really hope you die and never come back.

They all walk off in Nikky’s wake, who walks them back to the spot where Philip was killed. Philip screams a bit and Anita gets upset. Nikky is equally upset because Anita killed Winter here – but she wants to play with Anita, so orders her minions to give her her weapons back.

Uh, Nikky? She’s a vampire executioner. Just kill her already. Stop monologuing.

Anita has to fight a mook called Burchard or Nikky will kill Edward, the vampire killer.

Burchard began to circle me, and I kept the wall at my back. He rushed me, knife flashing. I held my ground, dodging his blade, and slashing at him as he darted in. My knife hit empty air. He was standing out of reach, staring at me. He had had six hundred years of practice, give or take. I couldn’t top that. I couldn’t even come close.

Harris knows how to write a much better fight scene.

Anyway, he slashes at Anita and she finally reveals that she knows the murderer is, showing that Hamilton is at least a little bit concerned about the plot. Zach screams NOOOOOOOOOOO and then CONFUSING GUN FIGHT.

  • Zach fires at Anita and misses.
  • Burchard and Anita dive to the floor
  • Edward has a broken arm. I don’t care.
  • Zach fires again, for no reason, but Nikky… kills him, I think? The writing is not very clear. He’s screaming anyway.
  • Anita kills Burchard OH HOW UNEXPECTED
  • Nikky attacks Anita
  • Anita screams NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • Edward shoots Nikky in the chest
  • HOORAYYYYYY
  • THE BITCH IS GOING TO DIE
  • Anita stabs her in the chest ‘between the breasts’ which is detail I did not want, but Nikky is finally dead
  • The rat-king shows up from nowhere
  • Anita kills zach
  • someone called Lillian asks if she needs stitches
  • who the fuck is Lillian??
  • they rescue John-claude
  • Anita kills philip

I have never found the conclusion to any book so boring and hurried. But we can one final chapter tomorrow.

Oh goodie.

 

 

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