A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Guilty Pleasures’ chapter twenty five

So, orgy time. Perhaps. Maybe. Phillip and Anita walk into the party and she immediately disapproves of everyone in the room, instantly. Don’t be so judgey Anita. Loosen up a little. So what if people want to go to vampiric orgies? Their funeral and all that.

A woman named Rochelle asks Anita about the stake scar on her back, saying that it doesn’t look anything like a vampire bite. As it wouldn’t, seeing as it’s a scar left by a lump of wood.

Phillip was staring at me, hard. Right; I was supposed to be enjoying myself, not acting like they all had communicable diseases.

You are not a good investigator Anita.

A woman’s husband called Harvey tries to get on Anita’s uh, ‘good side’ and she gets close to breaking her cover. She chooses to snuggle up to Phillip to escape ravishment. He put out the word that he isn’t sharing her. Good. That’ll save you from a gang-bang then. Should have planned this more, eh, Anita? Madge, Harvey’s wife, starts taunting them with the fact that when the vampires arrive, they’ll have no choice but to share. Anita flips her shit and insults Madge, who was laughing at her.

This awkward moment is broken up by the arrival of blonde bombshell Crystal, who is ecstatic as a puppy to see Phillip and begins pawing him immediately.

“Where I come from, one woman does not grope another woman’s date. At least wait until I turn my back, okay?”

Crystal’s lower lip trembled. Her eyes began to fill with tears. I had been gentle, kind even, and she was still going to cry. What was she doing here with these people?

Who knows? She doesn’t seem to be emotionally stable enough to attend orgies. But no, everyone acts as if Anita had kicked her in the face and coos over Crystal whilst denouncing Anita as ‘cold’. I do not understand the people in this universe. They do not act like normal people. They all walk out, leaving our fake couple alone together. Phillip doesn’t think he can do this and Anita susses out that he’s been ordered by someone to bring her here.

Oh, and then Edward turns up. Oh goodie! That’s just what this party needs – an insane flame-thrower toting psychopath. He must have followed Anita here on the hunt for Little Miss Nikky.

I watched Edward play kissy-face with Madge. He was much better at role-playing than I was. He was also a much better liar.

This can not end well. At all.


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