Halo Chapter Four

I loitered under the palms outside the school gates, waiting for Gabriel. (…) I was awed by the earth’s varied vegetation

More inconsistency here. In previous chapters she has mentioned postcards and paintings, and having watched old Hollywood films, suggesting that even if she hasn’t seen Earth before, she has done research. And yet, she’s amazed by the sight of a palm tree.

Gabriel comes out of the front gates, followed by a giggling gaggle of girls swooning over his good looks. I’m going to amuse myself here by imagining that Gabriel here is pretty, but androgynous, like most portrayals of angels. One girl even stumbles and falls accidentally-on-purpose in front of him, but he just picks her up and keeps going.

They go home and tell Ivy all about their day, then muse on how difficult it’s going to be, combating the evil forces in the town. I mean, all those teenagers, with their lack of priorities – it’s like Soddom and Gommorah all over again.

Bethany says that she made a friend (Molly) and Ivy and Gabriel are instantly disapproving.

“Blending in is one thing, but do you realise that friends require time and energy?” said Gabriel. “They’ll want to bond.” He winced as if the thought was painful to him.

But friendship is magic, guys!

They tell her that they’re worried that a friend might find out too much about them, and Bethany gets annoyed at the implication that they don’t trust her. She says she wants to experience being a teenager. Why? She’s not really a teenager. She’s not really a human.

Although I’d been eager to get home, I now found myself at a loss as to how I should be occupying my time.

Well, here’s an idea, Bethany: go out there and help people! You know, the thing you’re supposed to be here on earth to do? Ivy and Gabriel both spend their time reading or doing hobbies. How exactly are they meant to be carrying out this mission? Especially as they seem so opposed to socialising with humans.

Bethany does laundry, throws out junk mail, starts her homework…


This is almost as bad as Bella Swan and her granola bars. Padding, people. Padding is not your friend.

She goes downstairs and Gabriel is making a mushroom risotto. Apparently he’s great at everything he tries, being an archangel and all, and apparently he is also not too bothered about putting this to any kind of real use. (Making soup for the homeless? No? Just going to cook for yourself? Ok then)

Ivy wanders in with a purposeful look, and Gabriel tells Bethany that Ivy’s trying to think of how to get things going. She’s taking long enough about it, but at least there’s a hint that one of them is doing something.

Also, Bethany is suspicious of the porcini mushrooms, which are soaking in a bowl.

“Mmm, they look delicious,” I lied.

Wasn’t she going on last chapter about how hard it was to lie? The rot’s setting in, I tells ye.

Gabriel finishes the risotto and it’s delicious. They start talking about school again, and Bethany complains about how she finds chemistry boring. She does like literature, though, because they’re studying… (drumroll) Romeo and Juliet! Of course.

  I didn’t tell them this, but the love story fascinated me. The way the lovers fell so deeply and irrevocably in love after their first meeting sparked a burning curiosity in me about what human love might feel like.

Shakespeare intended Romeo and Juliet as a satire of overblown love stories. It’s a tale of how the young characters follow their hormones into disaster. Not an example to follow.

Also, one of the boys in class called Lady Capulet a ‘MILF’ which leads to Gabriel awkwardly trying to explain to Bethany what a MILF is. Ivy tells her it means ‘mother I’d like to… befriend’

This chapter had so much padding.

Next chapter, Ivy actually helps someone! Yay!


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