A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Guilty Pleasures’ chapter six


Anita heads back to Guilty Pleasures so she can carry on having an awful time. Jean-Claude is waiting outside for her, for REASONS.

“You smell of other people’s blood, ma petite.”

Please stop being such a stereotype Jean-Claude. I’m sure you could be very interesting, but you haven’t been so far. You’ve just been every vampire stereotype from Interview With The Vampire rolled into one. I already have Anne Rice, thank you very much.

They have a little Slap, Slap, Kiss, Kiss. He’s all ‘Oh, they call you The Executioner, how many people have you killed? Fourteen?! And you call us murderers *total flirting subtext*’. Again, not very interesting. Anita heads back into the club and finds her best friend in a trance.

Catherine was on the stage. She was standing motionless, eyes wide. Her face had that open, fragile look that faces get when they sleep, like a child’s face. Her long, copper-coloured hair glistened in the lights. I knew a deep trance when I saw it.

A vampire stands behind her and decides to be teh evils. He commands Anita to call Catherine, but her friend is being mind controlled and doesn’t notice. The vampire frees her and says she is under his power. This can’t be good.

Monica patted her hand. “You were great.”

“What did I do?”

“I’ll tell you later. The show’s not over yet.”

uh what

A woman was put under mind control and forced to perform on stage. She has no memory of what happened to her. Wow. What is it about female lead supernatural books that fill me with horrible awkward feelings and suggested sexual abuse? This is not a good or legal thing to have happened. There is no way that any of the actions at the club are in any way legal.

And there hasn’t even been a stripper on. That’s false advertising.

Anyway, teh evils vampire is all ‘Mwahahaha, Anita come on stage!’ and a waiter is all ‘ooooo better do what he says, he’s nasty when he’s cross!’. Anita says she will come on stage if she isn’t forced with mind control. The evil vampire, named ‘Aubrey’, accepts this. Anita walks up and he immediately starts with the mind control because he is an asshole. Anita is able to resist because of the force inside her that makes her an animator, a raiser of the dead. I like that. That makes sense. Aubrey is cross and sort of lunges at her, holding her down, so that he can bite her.

Assault in public. That’s very illegal. And if biting has the same sexual connotations as it does in other vampire books, does that count as a sexual assault? Either way, there is no way Guilty Pleasures will stay open and that Aubrey will escape justice.

To her credit, Anita fights back with a silver knife, holding Aubrey back until Jean-Claude saves her. You know dude, I know you’ve got a confirmed interest in Anita, so why didn’t you step in earlier? Jean-Claude speaks in French, there’s a scuffle and everything seems … stopped, now? I can’t quite tell, the narrative is a bit disjointed. It’s hard to follow the action.

The audience, like me, are horrified. Unlike me, they’re satisfied by Jean-Claude telling them it’s all been just a show.

This is a stupid universe.

These vampires are not interesting or well-developed. They cannot find the balance between being murderous and sensual, thinking that being horrendously violent IS sensual. And the fact that chapters are only, on average, five pages long is really starting to bother me. Why are they so short? It makes the action choppy and disjointed. Like the writing style.

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One thought on “A review of Laurell K. Hamilton’s ‘Guilty Pleasures’ chapter six

  1. When reading this my thoughts kept repeating, “I think I like you. I think I really really like you. That’s EXACTLY how I FEEL.”

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