A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Deadlocked’ chapter fourteen


Just a quick note before today’s review: the blog got over three hundred hits yesterday. That’s a week’s worth in one day. I just started this blog as a Christmas project seven months ago. I didn’t know if people would enjoy me reviewing this series, or if anyone would even read it. To cut myself off before I sound like I’m gushing, thanks to everyone who reads my blog and enjoys it. It’s just … WOW.

When I woke up in my own bed, the sun was glaring outside. I did not have to work today; getting to skip on your special day was a Merlotte’s rule.

I have never worked anywhere that let you bunk off on your birthday. This is marks, I think, the first time we’ve actually seen Sookie’s birthday in a book.

Last night had been an incredible night, all in al. I’d rescued two hostages, helped get a bunch of bad rogue Weres off the streets, and begun unravelling a conspiracy. Hard to top that!

I’d also been kidnapped and bitterly disillusioned.

To be fair, that happens like every book, you must be getting used to it by now.

On this, her unspecified birthday, (seriously I have no idea how old she is) she spends her whole morning worrying about the cluviel dor and Eric. Why not just use the damn thing to go back in time, and avoid meeting any vampires? Or move abroad away from them? Move to the UK – you’re always whining about paying for healthcare and we’ll give it to you free. Easy peasy simple pimple.

And then Detective Ambroselli shows up with some guy who is described as ‘having neutral thoughts’ and then in the next sentence we’re told that ‘he was nuts about Ambroselli’ which is not a neutral thought, is it? Neutral means no attachment to either side, and the synonyms for neutral are ‘ impartial, disinterested, dispassionate, uninvolved, unbiased’; to be ‘nuts’ about someone is to have strong, passionate emotions. And therefore is someone who is most decidedly not neutral.

Anyway, Ambroselli asks a bunch of innane questions about T Rex and Sookie can’t see the point as she isn’t a fan of his music. After the police leave, she pops round to see Tara. They talk about JB working at Hooligans; Claude gave him the job to compensate for helping Sookie recover after the torture in book nine and said that a father ought to provide for his children.

But I knew what my cousin really was and I knew he was scheming some terrible things.

I think this gif fits the situation appropriately enough. Definitely not a hidden boast that I now have ‘he looks nothing like me – he has a moustache’ on a t shirt.

And then Sookie goes to make a will. A very happy birthday to you. I’m just surprised she hasn’t done it earlier.

After making her will, Quinn the weretiger phones to wish her a happy birthday. I had no idea he knew her birthday, seeing as the extent of their relationship was being attacked by other people and dry humping each other. Also, he suddenly got a girlfriend.

The last time I’d seen Quinn, he’d just met the beautiful and single and one-of-the-last-of-her-kind weretigress.

Her name is Tijgerin.

i have no words.

am i supposed to accept that as as serious name?

anyway, he’s going to be dad but can’t see the kid until it’s weaned because mystic tiger stuff. Mystic tiger stuff!

Sam then phones her to come into the bar, extra quick, and she’s all huffy until SURPRISE! It’s a birthday party! Everyone is there and has brought presents, even though Sookie protests she’s ‘too old for a present party’.

You take that back. No one is ever too old for presents. Never say such a thing. Presents are serious business.

When she gets home, when it’s dark, the vampires (Bill, Eric and Pam) are waiting on her doorstep to wish her a happy birthday. Eric takes the opportunity to ruin his girlfriend’s birthday by being a dick.

“We came to wish you a happy day,” Eric said. “And I supposed, as usual, Bill will want to express his undying love that surpasses my love, as he’ll tell you – and Pam will want to say something sarcastic and nearly painful, while reminding you that she loves you, too.”

“And what about you, Eric?” I asked on counterattack. “Are you going to tell me that you love me just as much as Bill, but in a practical way, while finding some way to subtly threaten me and simultaneously remind me that you may be leaving with Freyda?”

Dump him Sook and get on with your life.

Bill and Pam give her presents and then scoot off to leave the loving couple to have a frank discussion about their relationship. He wants to avoid it by having sex but Sookie sticks to her guns and says they have to talk. Eric says that he loves Sookie but the order to marry Freyda was the last order of his maker – not something he can ignore. Which is a bad excuse for not doing anything about an uncomfortable situation. He gets very angry at her, yells that she can end it, before flying off into the sky.

It was like Eric thought I had a magic wish, something tucked up my sleeve.

Oh.

I froze, one arm through an armhole, the rest of the nightshirt bunched around my neck. I didn’t breathe for a long moment.

Eric knew about the cluviel dor.

Happy twenty eighth birthday Sookie.

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