A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Deadlocked’ chapter one

oooo big day for me today. Not only do I start the LAST of the Sookie Stackhouse books (that have been currently published) but I got my results for my second year of university! Got a 2:1 for the year and I’m very please with myself. So to celebrate I downloaded a shit ton of Tom Hiddleston gifs let’s start our look at Sookie’s penultimate adventure.

It was hot as the six shades of Hell even this late in the evening and I’d had a busy day at work. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in a crowded bar to watch my cousin get naked.

Ooookay. Sure, why not watch a relative get naked, that’s totally normal. Sookie is out on a ladies night with a bunch of her friends, including very pregnant Tara, to go watch her fairy cousin Claude at his strip club. It’s not rather creepy at all. And apparently Claude is back living with Sookie, even though she kicked him out the house in the last book for being a creepy dickwad. But, whatever. Yolo and all that.

Ugh, women talking about sex. There’s nothing I dislike more. This is a very personal thing – my sexuality being what it is, I just am not comfortable with this sort of talk. Especially with my friends. I really have no interest in knowing what my friends enjoy, and it applies to fictional characters talking to each other. But that’s just me, so it’s not something I can really pick at. They talk about lap dances, while Sookie ignores them and notices how all the serving staff at the club are fae.

“Ladies,” Claude said into the microphone, “Are you ready to enjoy Hooligans? Are you ready to watch some amazing men show you what they’re made of?” He let his hand stroke his admirable abs and raised one eyebrow, managing to look incredibly sexy and incredibly suggestive in two simple moves.

The last stripper was [Tara’s] husband, JB u Rone.

Oh dear. Because medical care costs money, JB has had to take up stripping on the side to help pay for the care of his soon-to-be born children. Something he did not tell his wife. Tara contemplates murdering him while the other women try to placate her. They don’t leave, allowing the reader to fully experience a crowd of rampant women throwing themselves at gyrating fairies. It doesn’t read… uh, let’s just say, that write about strippers is about as sexy as uh…. I can’t think of an ending for that metaphor, considering that everything is considered sexy for at least one person. I’ll just say that it doesn’t read well. It seems a little tacky for my tastes.

I clapped and I smiled, but in truth I was beginning to feel a little bored. Though Eric had I had not been on the same emotional wave length lately, we had been operating very well with regard to sex (don’t ask me how this could be so). I began to think I was spoiled. There was no such thing as boring sex with Eric.

Two things.

  1. That typo is appalling. Not bad in itself, but this is the book of a New York Times bestseller. Editors, get your shit together.
  2. Do you know why your relationship is failing even though the sex is good? Because you never had a real basis for a relationship other than ‘sizzling’ sexual attraction.

They leave after the big finale (which involves Claude and a man-thong) and Sookie heads back home. She’s too tired to sleep so it’s EMAIL TIME. She is apparently still talking to Amelia, who is travelling through Paris with Bob. I don’t like the fact they have such a good relationship, after she turned him into a cat and didn’t tell his family that he was safe. I do not like it.

And then Niall Brigant turns up, even though he supposedly can’t. Though this is a Charlaine Harris book, and as we’ve come to expect, there is no such thing as continuity. They chat a little, and he gently chides her for throwing a body through the portal to fairyland. But it’s no biggie, really. He just wants the portal to be secret. He questions why Claude is living with her, but refuses to mentions Dermot. Who then comes in the door.

Oh Niall, you win all of the parenting awards.


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