A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead Reckoning’ chapter sixteen


Only Sookie doesn’t manage to hack Victor’s head off, because she is just a human woman with no training in severing heads. It takes a lot of strength to cut off a human head – they don’t just pop off like the head of a Barbie doll. Sookie gets the sword lodged in Victor’s spinal column and can’t dislodge it. Pam helpfully completes the job for her as Eric kills the very last of Victor’s henchmen.

Good job jobbed then.

And it was over. Victor and all his vampire attendants – and his human attendants, too – were dead. There were enough flaking vampires to change the quality of the air.

Yummy yummy disintegrated vampire in your lungs.

Oh and Audrina is dead. But who cares about that?

The vampires pick themselves up and begin reattaching limbs. The living human attendants give them blood, and it’s described as being ‘blissful’ because apparently everyone in the Sookie Stackhouse universe is into biting. Which seems very strange to me. Surely, people into biting and being drained would be just one of an unlimited amount of sexual fetishes. I guess everyone conforms in this world.

Homogeneity! Yay!

Also Eric tries to get his mack on with Sookie, like immediately. Dude! Timing! I don’t think she wants your penis in her ‘yahoo place’ (UGH) in a room full of bodies and blood. He calls her a hypocrite and then takes her blood, making it as painful as possible.

Huh. He’s making you feel uncomfortable, insulting you to your face and causing you physical pain. Sounds like a case of ‘BUT HE SAID HE LOVED ME’ which makes me uncomfortable. If you’ve been following me for a few months, then you know in my mother’s day post that I alluded to a history of domestic abuse in my family.

I abhor any presentation of domestic abuse in media where it is not reviled for the pathetic, shameful act that it is. It is never acceptable for your partner to make you feel less of a human being. It is not right for love to cause pain. And I hate the modern trend of making abuse romantic and acceptable. It is disgusting. It makes me so angry that I want to cry and vomit and hurt people all at the same time. Abuse makes scars; not just physical scars, but mental ones, and these scars get passed from generation to generation. My grandmother has them. My mother has them. My aunt has them. And now I have them too. I don’t know when my family will recover, or when the women in my family won’t be neurotic and anxious. So until that day I will watch the girls of my generation get trained into seeing how a lack of respect and manipulation by men who proclaim to love them is OK because love makes everything all right. And you can smile while you die inside because there’s a man beside your side, and that’s all a woman needs.

Just FYI, this is why people who asked on my poll for Fifty Shades of Grey, I will not review that book. I refuse to touch it again. It makes my blood boil.

Rant over, let’s move on.

Bill offers to take Sookie home. Eric goes in for a kiss but she flinches away. They are not staying as a couple. Compatibility in the bedroom doesn’t make up for a lack of compatibility in personality.

Sookie is shaken by the night’s events. Assassination is an unpleasant business is what she tells Bill, but I think she’s shaken by Eric’s behaviour. It’s not what she expected from love. He isn’t behaving like a man in love. Shove him off to Oklahoma and get with that elf. Much better.

I thought, as I curled into a ball and composed myself for sleep, that the fact I could sleep tonight was almost more frightening than anything else.

I have a lot more respect for you missis.

Now I’m going to sign off, watch The Hunger Games, and cry over memories that aren’t mine. And eat a shit load of pastries.

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