A review of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Dead Reckoning’ chapter thirteen


Oh, what a evening last night. I got the beginnings of a migraine in the evening and ended up surfing the codeine sea. In my drugged glee, I ended up applying for another job, at the local tv&movie memorabilia store. I’d love the job, even if I’m a bit worried I won’t have a personal life if I get it.

~wheeeeeeeeeee~

Before I declare my undying love for the miracle of addictive painkillers, let’s look at today’s chapter before I break down the walls of reality and threaten Eric with a chainsaw.

Audrina and Colton are entranced by the appearance of Bubba but soon settle enough to come up with a plan.

Eric proposed that he infiltrate his vampires into Vampire’s Kiss one night in disguise, and that they wait until the club was about to close and the crowds were thin. Then we would attack. And, of course, kill them all.

This is a silly plan. Here are two reasons why.

  1. Victor will know all those vampires are there to kill him and will kill them. And then kill Eric.
  2. Felipe de Castro will know who did it, as the plan isn’t exactly subtle. And then kill Eric.
  3. Suddenly I like this plan a lot more.

Audrina had a plan, too, involving discovering Victor’s sleeping place and getting him while he was out for the day. Wow, that was fresh and original. However, it was a classic for a reason. Victor would be helpless.

  1. Except he won’t because he’ll have guards and things.
  2. He also knows you’re trying to kill him so he’ll probably be well protected.
  3. None of you are good at plan making.

Pam’s plan is to attack him early in the morning, when he’s preparing to feed. He’ll be weak and distracted. I like this plan.

“I have a plan,” I said.

It was like I’d suddenly stood up and unhooked my bra.

Does everything have to be brought back to your breasts?

The plan isn’t revealed, other than it involves Bubba, but everyone decides that this is the one for them! Well, these are the Sookie Stackhouse novels. It would be her plan they used.

Eric and Sookie are left at the end of the night, and they half a half-hearted argument about the marriage contract orchestrated by Appius.  Nothing progresses much. Eric leaves and then BILL comes over because he’s weaselling his way back into Sookie’s affections

DOTTIE DOES NOT LIKE.

Bill talks about how strong a vampire’s connection to their maker, and how even though Lorena was an evil bitch she taught him how to be an effective vampire, and that the guilt from betraying her maker was what sent her mad. Sookie refers to Lorena coming from ‘the old times’.

DOTTIE DOES NOT LIKE THIS CASUAL ATTEMPT AT HISTORICAL PERIODS.

The next day Bellenos the elf calls to kit on Sookie. -sigh- I had such high hopes for you, elf. Oh, and Tara’s baby shower is tomorrow! ERMMAHGHOSH it’s the important event that I haven’t thought about for a friend I’m meant to care about but never talk to or think about! Teeeheee!

So my to-do list was like: Today, complete all preparations for the baby shower. Tonight, kill Victor. Tomorrow, guests arrive for shower.

Dermot asks to help at the baby shower. And he’s so adorable, Sookie lets him. I don’t know why I like Dermot, but there’s something good about him.

Oh and then they look through some family photos and Dermot casually points out that a bunch of the photos of Sookie’s human grandfather are actually photos of her fairy grandfather, Fintan, disguising himself as the human grandfather (astral plane points if you can understand that).

pointless development is pointless.

Sookie then gives nearly all her savings to Sam to keep the bar afloat. Sookie, Sookie, Sookie. You get injured constantly, and when this was written health care was stupidly expensive because Americans didn’t think universal healthcare was a good thing. Giving your savings away is a bad idea.

but OHMYGOSH baby shower! OH EM GEE SO EXCITED

 

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